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How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Just Want to Talk | Last Active: 10 hours ago | Replies (4179)
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@sedama

I have several family members coping with serious problems such as marriage separation, severe drug addiction and newly declared lesbian. As the mother/ grandma, I want to help but they are withdrawing from me. I have few friends and am elderly. What can I
Do?

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Replies to "I have several family members coping with serious problems such as marriage separation, severe drug addiction..."
Scott R L | @scottrl | Oct 20, 2023

Just my opinion...

Sometimes the best thing you can do is to let them know "I'm here for you when you need me," and leave it up to them.

I know that sounds awful, but really try to resist the urge to jump in and "fix" things.

Obviously, you know your family better than I do, but sometimes people have a need to work things out on their own.

Right after my wife and I got married, we had a string of serious setbacks. (For one, just 13 days after our wedding I had a knee injury that put me in a wheelchair for four months.) We never sought help from anybody; it was tough, but we worked it out just fine. We grew stronger because of it, but we're both fierce individualists.

Life is tough. Be available for them, and let them ask.

I would love to hear from others on this.

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lyndac1027 | @lyndac1027 | Oct 22, 2023

Take care of yourself! I would suggest listening if they ask for advice, but I personally don't think there is much you can do at this point. The first step has to be theirs. I wish you the best!

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Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Oct 22, 2023

Hi @sedama, welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I see you have posted to the lighter discussion called “How about a laugh?” It is the lighter side of our usual health-related discussion because laughter too is good medicine.

However, I see that you would like to connect with others to discuss how you can support family members with serious life and health issues even though they are withdrawing from you. Please click the blue link to join the discussions in the Aging Well Support Group here:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/aging-well/

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