Bipolar will anyone talk to me about it

While I may not have experiences to share, I know that there are people here that will. Even so, I commented because I didn’t want you to feel like your post was going unread. I’m so sorry you are having to watch your son struggle. When our children are adults that feeling doesn’t lessen. ((Hugs))

Yes, I have a son and an ex-husband who have the same problem(s)

First, you need to know and understand that it is not your fault. You didn’t do anything to make him act like he is acting.
Second, please accept the fact that you can not fix him! You, as his mom want to do whatever it takes to make him happy and feel better. YOU CAN NOT.
Third, only he can want to get the help he needs. If he doesn’t want help, nothing or nobody will be able to get him to help himself. He has to want it. That may take some time. You need to be able to wait it out perhaps in tears like I did.

It’s a tough, tough situation for any parent to be in. My son is 53 years old. I’m surprised he is still alive. He is sober mostly now, but he still has that same personality. The over the top, all or nothing, selfish, hyper, raging one minute and sweet the next.
He started using drugs when he was 10 years old! However his personality was always difficult right after birth!

Now, this is what has kept me mentally stable regarding his life. I went to Al-Anon.
Al-Anon is a wonderful place, a safe place where you can speak with people just like yourself. The program is for the family and friends of alcoholics and drug users. Please contact them and go.

I’m praying that you have the courage to stick with what is right for you and let him know that you love him but you will not enable him to continue his current lifestyle.

I’m truly sorry for your sad situation with your son, it’s so painful for you to see him this way and to feel completely at a loss as to what you can do to help him. I have had some experience with this but it was my husband.. I went to different doctors for help but it was usually meds and he wouldn’t take them..this is not unusual in these cases because they are afraid and trust becomes a huge issue. It would take me too long to tell you my sad story but I learned that it really depends on where you live…I live in Canada and thirty years ago they were closing many hospitals and the mentally ill people were totally neglected and ended up living on the street..most of them don’t like hospitals but at least they were getting their meds as an outpatient. I hope you’re in a good place with lots of available medical help, it’s something I call going on a mission…the help is out there and you will have to look for it anyway you can. I know it’s difficult but there’s hope for you and your son and I will pray for you, stay strong.

I heard that DBT Therapy works.

This is hard to understand because it truly is a lifelong struggle. I am my husband’s fifth wife. We are old. But because he realized another woman would leave he had to get help. I got him help. He was able to stick to it because he cared about me. It has been a long struggle with medications. Trial and error. Some made him to tired we tried another. But somehow because he was retired and had time…..we kept trying. Ten years after getting help we stumbled upon a doctor with the VA who suggested he slowly try LAMOTRIGINE. A year later he is adjusted and commenting to family that for the first time in his life his brain doesn’t feel chaotic. He feels relaxed . He can work hard during the day and sleep well at night. As long as life’s extreme stresses are at bay, he does well. He talks about how he use to feel and how he feels now. He is so grateful for today. He is so sad when he looks back on the past. But his counselor says it’s time to forgive yourself for the past and realize you didn’t have the right tools for living an authentic life. And now he does.
We wish all bipolar people could find the strength to keep trying. It is truly difficult to find the right doctors to hear you and work with you. It takes time to try different medications. It takes support from loved ones to encourage to keep trying. Eventually you find the right medication and dosage that allows your brain to work without feeling heavy.
My hope is there are young people in our world that are finding themselves in a position to want to help our mental health crisis. So many people have undiagnosed bipolar. Hopefully they will find learning about mental health a challenge. Then educate themselves and reach out to help others to lead a more productive life. I can dream…..

Thank you so much for the reply.. My son has had many failed relationship s as well. One losing a wife who took his 2 kids, his home . He is going thro a terrible separation still and divorce. His dr is trying to get him to take meds. He says h ed doesn't like how they make him feel. I am very worried his anger goes out of control and will end up with police consequences. But I just don't understand it or how he feels.. I'm older too 63 it's taking with all I have to worry everyday about him.

Thank you for replying . I also live in Canada. Health care is worsening here, along with the homelessness. This is an awful situation. I'm so grateful to know other people are or have gone thro the same or close. Where I live I know of a mental health situation where the moms son was shot 21 times and tazed. Twice. While she watched. God bless her. Mental health is such a serious problem here... You only have to be in it to realize how unending and sad it is.

@sally12345 you are absolutely correct, now that I know you reside in Canada you understand what I was saying without going into too much detail. I realize people want to hear feedback with their problems but no one wants to get into political issues right now because that's a problem that will never end. It's truly a misery what is going on in our world and it makes you feel so helpless which is the last thing we need, only positive information is
..I do appreciate the technology today because it's very helpful for us to get what we need easier than it was years ago, that's a small advantage along with the ability to research to also get what is important. I find talking to people here has helped me to feel less frightened and alone and that is very good in helping you cope, not to mention how so many people have good advice and they can help put you in the right direction...it is very different for us in Canada because we know how bad our healthcare system is and that doesn't make it easy for us to cope but somehow we must keep on trying. I think that they have a very long way to go yet with helping our mentally ill people, drugs are still the number one treatment but as you know this is the toughest part to cover, it's truly the first step for them, once they get on the right medication the rest will be much easier because it calms their busy minds and allows them to get more involved in finding help for themselves. I don't think you can do more than you're doing, keep talking to him and let him know you love and support his feelings but he has to do the same thing for you and all the people he has in his life that still love and need him. Please reach out anytime, I am there for you, we all are, amen.

I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation. The alcohol and drug use only complicates things. Is your son still using those crutches?

He says he isn't but sometimes I feel he's very untruthful. So I can't be sure. I know he has horribly in the past which I'm sure makes everything worse. He goes from being suicidal , depressed severly, to over the top, to anger it's like a switch being flipped. It's so hard...And money he's always borrowing..I feel guilty when I say no ,but I m not sure it's the rite thing to say yes.