1. < Caregivers: Dementia

I am now forced to file for Bankruptcy and Medicaid

Posted by janet7 @janet7, Oct 2, 2023

We are in our 80’s, and now with my husband’s Dementia and Heart Failure, we are running out of money. I have just paid our last $3K to a bankruptcy attorney, have contacted Senior Services, and they are trying to help us get Medicaid.
We have a mortgage on our condo and own our car. We basically have our SS, a small annuity and a small refund from our health insurance. We are seeking financial help from these agencies because we don’t want our families to get involved financially. Some day we might tell them what we are doing, or maybe not. We don’t feel shame or sad about seeking financial help, only grateful there is available help for us.

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Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Oct 2, 2023

Hello @janet7 . Making these decisions must be so difficult and heartbreaking for you. By family, do you mean children or siblings? Do you think your family will be hurt that they weren’t asked to help? I know that my siblings and I felt very strongly that we should help our parents in their last years.
Will you remain in your condo? Could you move to assisted living and sell the condo. So much to think about and make plans for.
Is there someone local that you can talk to?

REPLY
1 reply
janet7 | @janet7 | Oct 3, 2023
In reply to @becsbuddy "Hello @janet7 . Making these decisions must be so difficult and heartbreaking for you. By family,..." + (show)
@becsbuddy

Hello @janet7 . Making these decisions must be so difficult and heartbreaking for you. By family, do you mean children or siblings? Do you think your family will be hurt that they weren’t asked to help? I know that my siblings and I felt very strongly that we should help our parents in their last years.
Will you remain in your condo? Could you move to assisted living and sell the condo. So much to think about and make plans for.
Is there someone local that you can talk to?

Jump to this post

Hi Becky,
By family I mean our children. We have 4 together from our previous marriages. Our siblings (1 each) are not interested in what we are doing. Our children are very emotionally supportive of us and might want to help us out financially, but we prefer helping ourselves. I personally have never had a lot of money so I am grateful for any help we can get.
I have told my youngest son about filling out a lot of paperwork (bankruptcy) and told him we are not sure if we are eligible. I told him I would explain at a later date. He is the only one in our family I talk to about what is going on with us. He is a good listener and has some good suggestions and that is good enough for us. He also would keep our discussions private and not judge what we are doing.
However, financially he is the least one of all our children to help us. I think if I explain later to all our children why we chose to get help on our own, they will understand. As long as we can get the help we need, that is all we want.
We have been in a Senior Independent Living facility for 7 months now and we were fortunate to find this place after 8 months of touring and filling out applications.
We feel safe and secure here and have some good amenities, but further medical help and resources will have to be attained from the outside.
I thank you for your concern.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Nov 5, 2023
In reply to @janet7 "Hi Becky, By family I mean our children. We have 4 together from our previous marriages...." + (show)
@janet7

Hi Becky,
By family I mean our children. We have 4 together from our previous marriages. Our siblings (1 each) are not interested in what we are doing. Our children are very emotionally supportive of us and might want to help us out financially, but we prefer helping ourselves. I personally have never had a lot of money so I am grateful for any help we can get.
I have told my youngest son about filling out a lot of paperwork (bankruptcy) and told him we are not sure if we are eligible. I told him I would explain at a later date. He is the only one in our family I talk to about what is going on with us. He is a good listener and has some good suggestions and that is good enough for us. He also would keep our discussions private and not judge what we are doing.
However, financially he is the least one of all our children to help us. I think if I explain later to all our children why we chose to get help on our own, they will understand. As long as we can get the help we need, that is all we want.
We have been in a Senior Independent Living facility for 7 months now and we were fortunate to find this place after 8 months of touring and filling out applications.
We feel safe and secure here and have some good amenities, but further medical help and resources will have to be attained from the outside.
I thank you for your concern.

Jump to this post

@janet7 How are things going for you and your husband now? I hope you have found what you need. If your plans are getting difficult, do you think you would ask for help from your kids? Maybe just help with brainstorming. Or they could do some research for you. They may already know what’s going on and are just waiting for you to ask them.
Please stay in touch with me, I worry for you.

REPLY
1 reply
janet7 | @janet7 | Nov 8, 2023
In reply to @becsbuddy "@janet7 How are things going for you and your husband now? I hope you have found..." + (show)
@becsbuddy

@janet7 How are things going for you and your husband now? I hope you have found what you need. If your plans are getting difficult, do you think you would ask for help from your kids? Maybe just help with brainstorming. Or they could do some research for you. They may already know what’s going on and are just waiting for you to ask them.
Please stay in touch with me, I worry for you.

Jump to this post

Thank you for your concern. Am struggling filling out paperwork of 50 pages in order to file for bankruptcy. This is the final draft before it is filed and it is very stressful work.
And then comes paperwork for Medicaid.
Thank you again for your concern.

REPLY
dollyme | @dollyme | Nov 8, 2023

I am sorry to hear this, however, it may be the correct way to go. Medicaid can help you, the process depends on what state you live in.

Where I live you can have $3,000 in savings for two people earn less than $26,228, the lookback period is 5 years.

Every state is different. Obtaining Medicaid can be a long drawn out process, so bankruptcy can buy you some time before the bottom falls out of the boat.

I wish you the best of luck!

REPLY
1 reply
janet7 | @janet7 | Nov 8, 2023
In reply to @dollyme "I am sorry to hear this, however, it may be the correct way to go. Medicaid..." + (show)
@dollyme

I am sorry to hear this, however, it may be the correct way to go. Medicaid can help you, the process depends on what state you live in.

Where I live you can have $3,000 in savings for two people earn less than $26,228, the lookback period is 5 years.

Every state is different. Obtaining Medicaid can be a long drawn out process, so bankruptcy can buy you some time before the bottom falls out of the boat.

I wish you the best of luck!

Jump to this post

Thank you for the information Dolly.

REPLY
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