Can a depressed person be functioning and at the same time isolated?

Good morning @nermo64,
My heart hurts for you. Answering your subject question, I believe the answer is yes. However, if he is still posting on social media, he is still among the living. I hope he isn't ghosting you. He may communicate with you but you may have to give it some time. This is very painful. Hang in there.
SheriD

@nermo64 What is your age and how old is your partner? The reason I’m asking this is I’m wondering if he is living alone or with his family. Also, how are you communicating with him? By text?

You know he is on social media however you wrote you are concerned about suicide. Are you in the U.S.? If yes, you could call the Suicide Hotline at 988 yourself and ask for advice.

I realize it’s very hurtful to watch a loved one in pain especially when they aren’t communicating with you. You could continue to try to communicate with him with encouraging messages and letting him know you ready when he wants to talk.

How are you taking care of yourself while you wait this out?

I am 47 and he is 50 he is alone his son visits him weekly we used to communicate through phone calls going out and textingtexting. It all stoped.sometimes he used to cry for no reason.I take care of myself I socialize and exercise and read a lot about depression , trying to understand his behavior .

It is very possible that person’s depression may be getting worse. I would get on social media and not go anywhere or want to speak to anyone! If you think that person may be harmful to themselves or others, you need to maybe talk to the police and have them do a welfare check. But, let that be your last resort. If they have a cell, I would text and tell them you are thinking of them. Also, remind them you are always there for them. Check in once or twice a day. Again, “ If you think that person may harm themselves or someone else… call the police and have them do a welfare check. I know this is a hard thing to deal with. I have been on the other side of that coin.., with my bipolar and major depression disorder! Take care of yourself as well! You cannot help someone else if you are not taking care of yourself!!

As a person who has been suicidal for long periods of time I can share only my experience. If I am talking, even about suicide I am at less risk than when I stop talking.

If I am still talking I still want someone to understand. When I have stopped talking I have started planning. Why I talk to one person and not another can be complicated.

I was once told by a psychiatrist “ if all I can do is hurt someone then I should leave them alone”. I try to live by that code.

Damaged people, damage people!

As one who suffers from depression, the answer is yes one can pretend to be functioning while struggling through depression. Reach out to your friend, but without expectations of a response. That will let them know you care. For me, it is most difficult to be around people who are high functioning when one is not able to, sort of as a constant reminder of what one who’s depressed can’t do.

I suffer from depression but continue to function. Most of the medical community has made me feel even more depressed. They don’t communicate with me right many times. Like how are they even in business if they are that way to patients? I’m on a Causal Study for 6 years thru a hospital’s RedCap team for a cancer I developed and they had a nurse come out to our home and she took 5 vials of blood from me and it’s been over a month and I have yet to hear from them the results of all that blood work. I have made several phone calls to various people and departments to do with this and no one has gotten back to me or even left me a message about it. ??? A childhood girlfriend & I stopped talking to each other after an argument in the past year and one of my female cousins who I have felt very close to for years stopped talking as well. I have been in tears over all of this. I have a husband and 2 adult children (and a younger brother I talk with twice a month) but I can’t always communicate with them well enough. My younger brother has joked at times saying I live on Social Media and it’s true. I have surrounded myself with people on Social Media who I feel I can better relate to, however nothing can replace an old friend or a family member who I grew up with reaching out to see how I am doing.

For me the best answer for depression is to get busy. Work harder, phone a friend, clean the house, whatever. If you're retired, there are many volunteer opportunities, even if you're home-bound. Also, make sure your diet, exercise and life-style are good. My opinion- you can't over-eat, over-sleep, alcohol or drug your way out of depression.

@nermo64 Since he lives alone I’d say to keep on texting or calling and leave supportive messages. If it were me, and my loved was not responding I’d be tempted to go there just to check he is OK. If that did not feel comfortable to do then I would contact a neighbor and as a last resort contact law enforcement for a wellness check. I know it could be frightening for law enforcement to show up at his door but without any other method available you could do this.

Socializing with others and exercise are really great for your own mental health. Reading about depression and what you can do is also good as it can help to understand him and also anyone else you know who is depressed.

Yes, it is possible to be functioning and depressed at the same time. I have been on antidepressants for 30+ years. At rimes in there, i have been able to stop medication for a few months at a time. Before i retired, I was able to make myself go to work and do the tasks i needed to. I don’t think most of my friends and relatives know that i suffer from depression. I have sometimes avoided social activities became i just can’t make myself participate. I would continue to reach out to your friend. Just letting him know you are thinking of him. It is hard for someone who does not suffer from depression to understand. Sometimes it takes everything you have just to get out of bed in the morning.