Where do you go when you're no longer add value?

@kell4042 Hi, you have expressed so much pain both physical, and mental.
Your life has changed, and it’s taken a toll on you.
Being alone is not a bad thing. However, being lonely and isolated is not something we should deal with for a long period of time.

I live alone, and I cherish my time. I finally have the time to do the things I want to do.

Malnutrition is worrisome for me. If you are not able to eat well is there anything you can do to change that? You know your body needs correct fuel to
heal. Can you take vitamins?

I’m reminded of the flight attendant’s safety talk at the beginning of each flight. The instruction is to put your mask on first before your child.
For you, I believe a one step at a time approach might be necessary. Heal and help yourself first. Then you can help others…

I admire you for wanting to be of service to others. That is a high calling for anyone! You’ll want to make sure you are fit first. I wish you the best.

Blessings

I'm so sorry. I hope that you find help to overcome this. I feel the same but have very severe narcolepsy in addition to depression. Neither helped much with meds.I spend every day in bed, rarely get up for anything. I have no energy to even speak to anyone let alone see or spend time with anyone. 100% isolated and alone 98% of the time. I have a boyfriend of 19 years, we rarely speak Idk why he is still around. When I see him I'm too tired to do anything including talk, haven't had sex in a few years either. . My daughter talked non stop, had a lot of caos, was an alcoholic. She begged me to talk to her just for a minute, she was in the hospital, I still couldn't. Now she's gone, died from alcoholism I feel like the worst mother, she was so alone and needed me so badly I couldn't be there for her. I have a son who is struggling too and rarely able to speak to him. My mom is gone and have nobody else. I lay in bed wasting space, have for 10 years. Contribute nothing to this world. I go to a dr appt once a month, thats it. Friendships all faded away. I don't shower or take care of myself, just too tired. I wanted to be a respiratory therapist but couldn't get through classes, my narcolepsy prevented me from accomplishing much of anything in life. I held hope something would work, help so I could go back to living, I want to live life so much. at 58 its not likely to ever happen. This is a terible way to live. I really hope you can find the help that can get you feeling better. .

Just wanna send you guys a hug @kell4042 and @sleepstate
🫂❤️‍🩹
Don’t know what else to say rn, but to say to you that if I was there I would sit and listen with a smile, be a goof to try to make you laugh, and let you know it’s ok to be you 🌺🙂

I function, barely. I'm 50. I can't accomplish anything. Keep losing friends. It's hard to be sad and tired all the time. It sucks. I can not think of any worse feeling. Questioning why you continue.
We do…We just do. If we do. If we communicate openly maybe we can help prevent more people from feeling this way!
My heart is sick for you. You are doing great. Just sharing your stories helps. That in itself is purpose. Rest and try again. Keep trying! ❤️

First, I hope you’re finding ways to love yourself. You are worthy. Hobbies, reading, or even watching people or nature from a window can be gratifying. Second, not all relationships include intercourse. Intimacy exists in many forms and there are people who prefer relationships without sex. Be honest with each other from the beginning of a relationship so you both manage expectations. Finally, you have something to offer. You’re making a difference just by sharing your feelings on this platform. I literally understand the COVID shift. I shook my whole world. I haven’t had COVID, but the stress of the pandemic made me physically and mentally ill. I understand being frozen. But, little by little, I am finding ways to thaw out. I wish you well.

Fifteen years ago I began a long downhill slide that would ultimately cost me everything, even my freedom. I fell from a life I loved to being so worthless that everyone including my wife and precious children cast me aside. The society I was a leader in decided I was not only worthless but dangerous and put me in prison. I am actually an incredibly gentle and loving man who was very sick.

When I arrived at prison it was a horror. I am a middle age businessman surround by truly dangerous people half my age. All I wanted was to die as quickly as possible. It's not that easy to kill oneself in prison, they don't like that. So I shuffled along like the waking dead I was.

One day another inmate started to talk to me about his problems so I listened. One thing lead to another and I became an official mentor helping other inmates cope with the stresses of being incarcerated. I was worth something again! My life experience and especially my suffering became my salvation and a gift to others. I earned the respect of my fellow inmates, the guards, the medical staff and the professional consolers, all because I had suffered.

I got out of prison early and have been trying to rebuild my life and make contact with my children. I am starting another company providing patient medical research to doctors and mental health professionals. All by mining the depths of my despair.

We who suffer with mental illness and all that comes with it have more to give than I ever realized. When one of the nurses in the prison stopped me as I was leaving and shook my had and said "it has been a genuine pleasure knowing you" I couldn't help but start crying as I am doing right now.

You are the definition of value add. You know what it is like to be at war with yourself, to be lonely and completely misunderstood. You know Hell's pathways. Sit on a bench in a park and see the homeless, really see them. When I do I try to feel love for them and to understand their suffering. I'm not sure what it does for me, it's not gratitude for my life, more a kinship.

We all have so much to offer. We didn't get here because we are broken we arrived wherever we are because of our gifts. Share them if you can.

My sorrow is my strength because that's what I have.

Be well and walk in sunshine all the days of your life.

Hi kell 4042
The sentence I'm stuck with is, "I isolate bc I enjoy being alone after forcing it." U see u had to "force" it upon yourself -- it's not something you Wanted...EVEN as you see the likely consequences that are robbing you of your physical and social health (that brought "self gratification") and is now depriving you of your potentially rewarding sex life. Yet in spite of all this punishment, You say, I enjoy" it. You are enjoying punishing yourself. If so, isn't the question that needs answering: What this punishment is giving you a sense of relief (you say, "enjoy"[ment] FROM? After all this seems to be THE constant hidden culprit in this story of ruin.
Have you given thought and dig deeper into the psychic realm that can play enormous control on your Apparently ruined life?
Have consulted a psychologist especially one experienced in sub-conscious that according to some estimates controls 90 % of our thoughts, emotions and feelings, as well as attitudes and behaviors?
Could it be a matter of Forgiving Yourself for what your 'inner prison guard' believes, with its Own Justification that you need to PAY for before you are allowed to live a life that is so called 'Normal Life'?

Best wishes, from a fellow flawed human.

@buchanana Here's what I've come to realize that a lot of health issues stem from when the basic healthy habits of food and physical activity are compromised. One can ask, though: What if one has no interest maintaining healthy habits in these areas? And it's a valid question, too.
The answer often provided is good health and mood and other social psychological benefits. But if one insists on with a similar objection, with no interest in these benefits. What do you say next?
But if I said, that such interventions will not only do wonderful to not only You but also Others around you: friends, family, neighbors, tribe, nation, then your decision to squander your life also means you've taken away from Others, too, what was Their good life. This is the Purpose that prof Patrick Hill of wash State Univ at St Louis (and others) have come up with, without which he found that people may lose Reason to live a Full Fledged Life that uses their unique gifts.

This is what has mostly provided me the impetus to Get Most from my hours and days of my time in this forever mysterious universe. As you can see healthy choices only help me More to get near this goal. So on a eight decade old skeleton I still have rarely seen doctors, no meds surgeries or tests, all this with at least two up-and-down cycles in fortune.
I'd love to know your progress -- and ready to answer any questions -- in this generous vision of life that awaits us all.

Not sure why my response went elsewhere. Try looking @geebold thx

@kell4042 I only read ur first statement where do u go when ur no longer needed I think what was said. I don’t like using this platform. But you sound exactly like me. I though I might have wrote that but not my name. I apologize to other I did not read ur comments I just wanted to send a direct message to her “kell”. And I will prolly delete this by the end. So I’ll send this. And add.