Gave up driving, but... How to ask others not to encourage driving?

I try to joke he drove the first 30 years now its my turn! Sometimes it works sometimes not. Thats a hard one. In my life driving is a biggy for my husband.
I feel for you.

Hi @anotherday, there is a related discussion here:
– No More Driving: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/no-more-driving/

But if I read your message correctly, the situation you are facing is not your husband's acceptance of not driving, but rather that friends and family use terms that infer he can drive. It's not helpful when they say "Just hop in the car and come on over" or similar.

The car is such a part of our accepted mode of transportation that it is also an assumption in our conversations. In other countries, commuter trains and buses might be an option, but not in North America.

Like @ihanrath, I also ask: Are these friends and family members aware of his diagnosis? Can you make them aware of the words they choose and offer an alternative, like "Why don't you and AnotherDay [insert your name] hop in the car and come on over."

It sounds like he wouldn't welcome the phrase "Get ____ to drive you over..." as he doesn't want to be seen as someone who needs to be driven.

Am I reading the situation right?

Seems his older son was not believing his father’s Dementia by saying “if he even has Dementia.”
My response was to send him a recent Memory report taken in March after getting a Memory test diagnoses taken at a Memory Clinic. Also reminded his son that his father had 2 strokes shortly after having his heart valve replaced. Haven’t heard back from his son, so I hope he is convinced.
My husband’s sister also asked what was wrong with her brother so I sent her the long list. Never heard back from her either.
Keeping everyone informed about their loved one’s condition seems to be the best way to assuage their curiosity or non-beliefs.
Honestly, my blood boils when people question me about my husband’s health.

That is a difficult one! How about you meet at a restaurant or a park and make sure you arrive early?

Is the family aware of his diagnosis?

Wishing you well,

Hi @anotherday, there is a related discussion here:
– No More Driving: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/no-more-driving/

But if I read your message correctly, the situation you are facing is not your husband's acceptance of not driving, but rather that friends and family use terms that infer he can drive. It's not helpful when they say "Just hop in the car and come on over" or similar.

The car is such a part of our accepted mode of transportation that it is also an assumption in our conversations. In other countries, commuter trains and buses might be an option, but not in North America.

Like @ihanrath, I also ask: Are these friends and family members aware of his diagnosis? Can you make them aware of the words they choose and offer an alternative, like "Why don't you and AnotherDay [insert your name] hop in the car and come on over."

It sounds like he wouldn't welcome the phrase "Get ____ to drive you over..." as he doesn't want to be seen as someone who needs to be driven.

Am I reading the situation right?

Seems his older son was not believing his father’s Dementia by saying “if he even has Dementia.”
My response was to send him a recent Memory report taken in March after getting a Memory test diagnoses taken at a Memory Clinic. Also reminded his son that his father had 2 strokes shortly after having his heart valve replaced. Haven’t heard back from his son, so I hope he is convinced.
My husband’s sister also asked what was wrong with her brother so I sent her the long list. Never heard back from her either.
Keeping everyone informed about their loved one’s condition seems to be the best way to assuage their curiosity or non-beliefs.
Honestly, my blood boils when people question me about my husband’s health.

I like it, you sent lists. I may do that. We also have the his children/my children thing, second marriages work that way. My DH younger son recently tried to arrange for his dad to fly out for a visit and was going to get him a rental car. As this son refuses to speak to me, I had to make my DH nix those plans.