Invasive ductal carcinoma (IDC): Anyone else?

Happy for you all. You seem to be coping well. Since my diagnosis, I have been very angry. Just don’t want to see anyone who would ask the usual question when you meet « how are you? » No one wants to hear that you might feel shitty. Haven’t started any treatment since surgery- just want the whole thing to go away but I know it won’t.

Why does every nurse, technician, and doctor smile and ask, "How are you today?"
Obviously they know how I am. I find their inane question very irritating, and usually answer, "I'm probably feeling like every other woman with breast cancer." They really do not understand or really want to know how I feel. Their question is extremely generic and trite, which tells me they really don't think of me as a person.

And when they ask, I reply « not great » and suddenly there is Silence… I am avoiding people because I don’t want to lie and answer « fine » and at the same time, I don’t want to share with everyone this problem. Others have their own challenges- don’t want to pile on their pain ( sickness/breast cancer, death of loved ones) . I don’t want to hear that it will be ok, It’s not and it won’t be.
I am not saying « why me? » just angry at aging, sickness - not rosy picture.

And when they ask, I reply « not great » and suddenly there is Silence… I am avoiding people because I don’t want to lie and answer « fine » and at the same time, I don’t want to share with everyone this problem. Others have their own challenges- don’t want to pile on their pain ( sickness/breast cancer, death of loved ones) . I don’t want to hear that it will be ok, It’s not and it won’t be.
I am not saying « why me? » just angry at aging, sickness - not rosy picture.

No, not a rosy picture to be aging and facing down a breast cancer diagnosis among other barbs life throws at us.

It can be irritating when health care providers in the oncology setting seem perky and rosy; common courtesy towards strangers has met its challenge in this depressing and dull fog arena. I answer honestly, which varies but I do thank them for asking and also ask how they are doing.

It must be very challenging to face oncology clients everyday and burnout is high in all healthcare settling. As irritating as it can be at times, I am grateful that I am not met with a doom and gloom personality. And I am grateful for their service. It is one of those issues that needs a coping mechanism. Mine is to assume that common courtesy, like elevator talk ( the weather) is maybe the best alternative.

This space, however, is a good place to bring our anger, disappointments, fears and also our good news ( under the circumstances) and joys. We are all in a really tough spot here and ALL emotions are valid and welcome!

No, not a rosy picture to be aging and facing down a breast cancer diagnosis among other barbs life throws at us.

It can be irritating when health care providers in the oncology setting seem perky and rosy; common courtesy towards strangers has met its challenge in this depressing and dull fog arena. I answer honestly, which varies but I do thank them for asking and also ask how they are doing.

It must be very challenging to face oncology clients everyday and burnout is high in all healthcare settling. As irritating as it can be at times, I am grateful that I am not met with a doom and gloom personality. And I am grateful for their service. It is one of those issues that needs a coping mechanism. Mine is to assume that common courtesy, like elevator talk ( the weather) is maybe the best alternative.

This space, however, is a good place to bring our anger, disappointments, fears and also our good news ( under the circumstances) and joys. We are all in a really tough spot here and ALL emotions are valid and welcome!

Thanks for acknowledging that All emotions are valid. Being told to « rant away « isn’t supportive…
I am and have been for long time a patient at Mayo and always find the staff to be gentle, caring. I am sure that they know that my « not great » reply is just normal and not directed at them personally. Btw, I was an hospice care volunteer and it’s just my turn to be angry. Finally, a place where I can express my emotions instead of suppressing them - ready to burst. Sincerely All the best to everyone. I will sign out .

When I said rant away, I didn’t really mean endlessly. I am sorry I wasn’t clearer. Sometimes when things are really tough and I am really angry (rare but it happens) just railing for a few minutes kind of re-sets me a bit and once I have listened to myself, I can stop and reason through exactly what and who I am angry about.
I truly was trying to be supportive, and I do hope other members comments were helpful as well.

I would agree that oncology personnel have challenging jobs; however, those who have never faced cancer are a bit too over-the-top chipper. A simple "Good Morning and my name" would seem more appropriate. Now I have reached the point when asked, "How are you today", I just don't answer.