Dementia and Aphasia

The showering my hubby gets are the ones i give him. He too used to be well groomed but i now have to help him with showers and getting toothbrush ready. He says he really likes that im helping him shower, I think alot of it is that he enjoys the physical touch and gets all fresh at the same time. And every so often he says to me "thank you for helping me with these things" and "im so glad you're here" and he gets a little emotional too and i just tell him "that's what i'm here for....to take care of you"
I think its a little bit of everything on what he doesn't shower or change clothes (ie. depression, the disease and having to move).
Hugs and love

It's nice that he lets you shower him, although I imagine that gets tiring for you. I wish Ken would let someone help him shower. It's getting so bad we might need to literally force him to shower. I'm not looking forward to that.

This week he ended up with poop all over himself and his clothes. He keeps wearing the poopy clothes and he won't even wash the poop off his hands! Maybe although he appears physically to be able to do his own hygiene (and he does shave every day), mentally he just can't?

Yes we have been dealing with this for a lengthy time now. gradually my moms confusion caused her to forget words. she knew she couldn't finish sentences or remember words (she would say oh whats that word). i never rushed her or said anything. just let her try to remember it and eventually she would say oh well and move on. i just was trying to be patient with her and undertand her condition. now she can barely talk or when she does it makes no sense. she is years into dementia and in final stage and transitioning at this point. She speaks maybe 30 words a day and it is usually about children. She really loved her kids and all children and so she is always talking to children now or worrying about taking care of children.

My husband has been showering every Sunday for the past 5 years. Not uncommon to wear the same clothes. What’s interesting. He still shaves though. That hasn’t changed.
The not washing of hands has also been about 5 years ago.
I can’t force him to anything he doesn’t want to do.

I'm 86, my wife of 40 years is 82. About 8 years ago, she began showing signs of aphasia and short-term memory loss. She lost computer and telephone capability. We began seeing a neurologist as soon as we were certain of her problem. The neurologist is about 75 miles away; our primary provider nearly 50. My wife has declined slowly. She is still in good shape physically, showers daily, dresses nicely, and puts on her own makeup. She handles some physical tasks such as yardwork although tends to be obsessive about some and ignores others.
She's very social. Enjoys spending time with friends around town. We have a lot of support in town.
Our problem is that the neurologist won't come up with a diagnosis. After viewing an MRI early on, he commented that all he could see was an aging brain. He demands seeing her every 6 months and spends perhaps
5 minutes maximum with her at each appointment. He prescribes the same two pills after asking me if I think
the dosage should be changed. Best I can tell, the pills do help keep her level. We'd like to change doctors, but the nearest cities are between 150 and 200 miles away. We are wondering if online visits are available anywhere. Any suggestions appreciated.

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's memory issues and aphasia. My husband just turned 62 and he was diagnosed with dementia caused by alzheimers 2 years ago. And his aphasia is progressing.
We travel 90 miles for his dr. appts. so i know how overwhelming or frustrating it can be, especially if your appt is only 5 minutes long. We're fortunate enough that our appts are a good 30-45 minutes long...we only see her twice a year. Because he is an established returning patient, his dr. gives us the choice of in-person or virtual. I would definitely check with her dr to see if that is an option, considering how far you have to travel. AND let them know the distance you have to travel.
I guess we were a little fortunate because tests and appts were happeing at a good pace, so we could get a diagnosis.
His PCP requested a referral for him to see a neurologist ( after 1 visit ) due to my concerns about his forgetfulness and his slight cognitive impairments. After performing some cognitive tests with the neurologist she ordered several other tests (MRI, EEG, lumbar puncture) and it was those results that she recommended us to see an alzheimer's neurologist, and we are continuing to see her.
I had to do some of my own research of why or what could be causing his memory loss and my suspicions were confirmed with the diagnosis of dememtia (FTD....frontotemporal dementia).
ALZ is hard to diagnose because they don't know what causes it, therefore, there is no cure BUT, the best thing that I found was to let his dr. know everything I could about his condtion..no matter how big or small your concerns. When asked if I think a dose increase on 1 of his meds would be okay, i agreed, and it seems to help a little I guess. I just remind myself that the meds will slow the progression, not cure, so I only want to increase if doc sees progression as well as me.
It sounds like your wife can still do quite a bit by herself or with minimal help from you and thats great!!! Maybe it's just natual aging, which would be the best news. But don't be afraid to address your concerns OR get a second opinion. I hope you can get the help you need. I'll pray for you
Hugs and Prayers
God Bless

I appreciate you reply. I'm working with her family trying to find a practitioner that will work with us virtual.
As I'm sure you're aware, doctor-shopping from such distances is difficult. Patty has enjoyed Zoom sessions with her son and with a speech therapist. Right now, her sister, a PA, is looking for a doctor that will work with her virtually. I guess the big step was deciding that what we had wasn't working and that I had to open up to help from the family. Hre's hoping.

I'm glad you have found some avenues with her sister and her son with helping. Family can be a big support for you and her so don't be afraid to ask for help of any kind. I have found that my family doesn't really know what kind of help I need, so i just have to ask and they are willing to do whatever they can. This can be very overwhelming at times, so I just say a prayer and hope it all works out. I have a sign in our bedroom that says "Pray More Worry Less" and that's just what I do.
God Bless and Prayers to you

I learned yesterday while at the dental hygienist for his regular cleaning, they can check with insurance to get a provisional cleaning up to 4 times per year for certain health issues. It’s a small win. Insurance pays for 4 and fluoride. I had not heard of this prior to yesterday. Still on the journey.

@harleyshaw -- You're blessed to have a PA in the family willing to help. Great!

/LarryG