Can someone tell me if I’m going slow enough

@historyguy, I feel very sad reading your message about constant efforts to taper off your meds…you mentioned that you’ve suffered from insomnia for 20 years and the medication you’re taking don’t offer you much results…what troubles me most is you are going through tapering off the meds and to no avail so the whole nightmare repeats itself… this is a very nonproductive course you’re on and you need to seek help getting off it, a medication that actually helps you with insomnia would be a good start and also a asking your doctor for active programs to support your needs… I don’t want to sound like I’m judging you because I’m not, I also have ongoing problems with my meds and tapering off them but if life as it is now stays this way I strongly doubt I will ever be able to stop them.

Thanks, I am seeing a doc but like most, seem I’ll prepared in understanding elderly med weaning.

…oops, make that ill..

I was wondering what meds you’re on and how long you’ve been on them. Would you care to share? If not, I fully understand.

I have no problem sharing this and anything you may be curious about. I know I shouldn’t blame myself, and I know I shouldn’t let this condition define me but it does. When this taper is over I will still have a lot of work ahead of me recovering from the trauma this has created. I will also have considerable work restoring my sense of self worth.
I’ve been on klonopin for about 14 months. At my peak I was on 1.5 mg daily but for most of the -14 months it’s been pretty steady at 1 mg. I was taking .25 mg 4x a day and since early March have tapered down to .125 mg in the morning and .187 at bedtime.
I think I was lucky in the fact that I divided the 1 mg into 4 doses. No one told me to do it that , it just seemed more manageable that way but now I read it does help manage the taper .
Back in November I was on 200 mg, the highest dose of Zoloft and 40 mg of Buspirone. I got myself off of both of those which wasn’t too hard but, even though I knew klonopin was going to be a lot harder, it is unbelievable hard. My psychiatrist has been of no help throughout all of this and actually gave me really bad advice on how to get off all three meds. Completely useless. I always felt uncomfortable being on these meds and kept asking him if it was ok to still be on the klonopin. He always assured me it was such a low dose and nothing to worry about.
Last October and November I was building a stone wall which I’m very proud of (190’ long, 3’ high, 2’ thick) on my Catskill property and something in the work was so therapeutic that by the end of November I was CURED. My wife and I were giddy with joy. I then told my psychiatrist that I wanted to get off klonopin. He probably should have said let’s wait a couple of months before we do it. Instead he said drop .25 mg every two weeks. Well my being normal lasted 12 days and I had a relapse. I’m still haunted by this. I had it in the palm of my hand and lost it. Not only that but all my anxiety symptoms came back even harder. So what does the good Dr do, well of course he adds an antidepressant Pristiq and tell me he’s certain this will work. After 17 days of hell and feeling suicidal I stopped. He said go back to a lower dose but I didn’t listen and now he’s just my drug dealer. I do not trust anyone in the medical profession.
I’m trying now to get some help with all of this including therapy but not much luck. Internet is full of companies offering all sorts of services but they either aren’t taking new patients, charge too much or seem like a scam. What a great country we have. Some companies are making a fortune getting us sick and the other companies are making a fortune saying they can fix us. As you can tell I’m very angry.
Well I’ll leave on a good note. Today is a good day for me so maybe I’m finally getting my brain to heal🤞
Sorry for the rant!

@historyguy, I don’t mind at all asking me what medication I use.. I currently take Amitriptyline for depression and anxiety, it’s an older medication that they still use for those of us who don’t adapt easily to the newer ones..I also take lorazepam and I have been on them for 22 years, I never even thought they were a problem until recent years…I understand their concern with drugs like this but they always paint everything with the same brush and I am fed up with them…I had enough to deal with and suddenly my doctor gets into it and puts all this pressure on me..he even had the nerve to reduce my dosage by more than half without a talk or anything, he would even leave messages at the pharmacy about how I am to use this medication, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I hate these meds but I am addicted to them and I get very nervous when I have to deal with doctors who worry more about their reputation and not wanting to be associated with them, I thought they were supposed to be caregivers but I strongly doubt that very much and when I read all the sad things going on with people I get sick to my stomach

Hey, just wondering how you’re progressing on your taper?

Thanks for asking. I’m now down to .25 mg klonopin daily and if there are no surprises or new symptoms I should be done in 4 weeks. Physical symptoms haven’t been too bad, sleep being my biggest but depression, anxiety, and everything I look at or hear being an enormous trigger are my biggest problem. It can be maddening at times and drives me crazy. I think the most constant negative thought is that now that it’s summer all my friends and family are busy traveling and having active lives and I’m STILL just sitting or laying around.
I live on 10 acres in the Catskills Mts and these last 3 days I can’t even go outside, take a walk or just sit on my porch and enjoy nature. The sky is yellow and it’s freaking me out. I know it will go away but, if I felt trapped before, now I’m really having a hard time with my self imposed prison.
What also frustrates me is everything I read about tapering and recovery says you have to make the effort to be positive. It’s hard and I’m not doing that well and then I blame myself and my self esteem which is already at rock bottom, takes another big hit.
So, as much as I should feel lucky that my taper experience isn’t as bad as some of the things I read from other’s, I don’t seem to be able to pull myself up and out of depression and pessimism about my future.
I’ve just started with a new therapist that went through what we’re going through so I hope that will help. I know I must be patient and keep thinking I will get there so I’ll leave this with the thought that I’m getting BETTER!!! Thanks again and good luck.

Thanks for writing such a clear picture. I too have begun a taper off Klonapin but am still at 1mg day. When I miss even a partial dose, it’s hard to get to sleep, even though I take Trazodone for that. It’s pretty reliably helpful.

I think having something that used to comfort and help with anxiety, etc is rather depressing in itself. I have had this drug available for years and presume I will miss it greatly.

But my brain cells don’t like it and I know turning to alternatives is all I can do. Exercise, sleep, etc. too. Good luck!

How are you progressing? I’m still fighting my taper. Seeing my elderly medication management psych doc today. What I wouldn’t give for one good night’s sleep. Hope you’re making progress. Pulling for you.