Caregivers need emotional support too

@talkativeinfl You are so right! Caregivers need emotional support, too! Have any of your doctors mentioned it to you? There s usually a social worker in each office that you can make an appointment with. Also, ask the doctor to refer your husband to palliative care or hospice care. Hospice has doctors, educated nurses, aides, social workers who provide all the physical care for the patient and emotional support to the family. Hospice has a team approach. I experience hospice with both of my parents and was very pleased.
Do you thing something like this would be helpful for you?

I have been thinking about that for a while and broached the subject with my husband once giving him all the benefits of having hospice come in early so that we can establish a trusted group but he dug his heels in saying he was not about to have a stranger come to check on him even if it was only once a month until it was ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. It has to be in his time and his decision as it has been for our whole marriage. I have to suggest things and let them drop so he can think about them and come up with the idea. I just FINALLY got him to decide he needed to look at the will, power of attorney and living will 3 month or so after we had them done online so that we can get them witnessed and notarized. Its got to be in his time for everything so I tend to believe him when he says I need to save my vacation time for his time. I told him he wasnt going anywhere this year and he said "yes I am love, yes I am".

Good morning, @talkativeinfl I'm not sure of the rules in your state, but here in mine, my wife needed a doctor's prescription to gain hospice services. It was a blessing for us to have him, her trusted doctor, be the one who told her it was time.

Just a thought from Indiana 🙂

Strength, Courage, & Peace

I’d like to comment since I gather that your husband does not want hospic right now. My mom did not either. She also did not want the help of a social worker, but I needed it. I found assistance in the hospital when Mom was there and through her palliative care at home (which was not hospice even though it sounds similar). Inwoild also check with local council on aging for advice. I bet the know hood resources that are free

I'm glad you're here on this site. The things you're talking about are so incredibly familiar to me and to many (or all?) of us here. This is a good place to come to talk and want nothing from other people but their emotional support. You have mine if you want it.
On a practical side, when my mother was dying and wouldn't accept hospice, I finally had to tell her that I couldn't physically care for her alone any longer. She accepted that and hospice came in to help. Those people are wonderful.
I also understand how you don't want to tell your husband any of your feelings because of how it upsets him. I have the same thing with my husband who is losing his memory and his ability to manage small things like the checkbook, etc. We walk a fine line. Good luck, and I hope you get some rest.

Hang in there. Life is hard sometimes. I know I actually just have to pray and put it in God’s hands. I am sure you are doing your very best and you know your spouse better than anyone.🙏 God Bless both of you.

Hello, I can feel, understand and relate as l am my husband's (advanced metastatic prostate cancer) sole caregiver too. I am retired so at least l am home with him. We have neither family nor friends nor kind neighbors who'll give a hand with anything. It's just me. Several people promised the world but we never heard back from them. I wish someone would just call and say "put the coffee on, l'm coming over with some muffins" or whatever but it's ZILCH, ZERO, NADA, NIENTE😬

I’m managing through the early stages of dementia with my husband. He’s a progressively worsening handful. I think I know how you must be feeling. I keep saying I could use ten good people to help out around the house but no one shows up here either. I’m so sorry you are feeling alone. If we were neighbors, I’d be right over with a fresh baked banana bread. Hope this message gives you some uplifting. Breathe for a moment, take an Epsom salt bath with lavender and try to go to bed early. Crack a window at night and listen to the rain or the night birds. This will bring you some peace.

Our doctor never offered any help - no social worker, no information on how much my husbands meds would cost ($14,000 a month) and not even a word about getting a grant to cover the cost of the pills. He only said if you don’t take these pills & shot you’ll be dead in 6 months with bone cancer and it will be a horrible death! I’m so over trying to find help and information. We’re both tired and the side effects of the meds is overwhelming to him. I’ve contacted the drug company and all they are concerned with is that they need to report it to the FDA! My husband is 75 with stage 4 prostate cancer.

I am right there with you both with my husband still in MCI stage of Alzheimer’s - but progressing.
I think that is what I would find to be the most help right now is just having an ongoing relationship (chat/walk/email exchange) with someone else who is going through the same thing and with little family support.
If you live close by, I’ll put the coffee on