← Return to Loss: I am stuck in the "angry" stage. How can I move on?

mikaylar (@mikaylar)

Loss: I am stuck in the "angry" stage. How can I move on?

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Jun 8 10:41pm | Replies (36)

Comment receiving replies

Thank you both for your encouragement and prayers. As you know, some days are better than others. My situation is that it keeps coming back to deal with. My brother exploded his row house and rendered 2 other homes besides his destroyed to the ground and contemned 2 other homes. 8 people lost their homes, 3 of which were children. The property is in limbo because I am the only heir and don't want to get involved. Eventually, I will have to sign off on the property so it can be rebuilt as it is not safe in the neighborhood. His urn of ashes is still at the county coroner 2 years later – at least I think it is. I don't want it. So, here I am….stuck in anger stage. I loved him more than anyone but I hate him too for what he did to innocent families and our family.

Jump to this post

Replies to "Thank you both for your encouragement and prayers. As you know, some days are better than..."

Wow, @mikaylamikaylar That is a tragic set of circumstances for sure. I can hardly imagine!

I have no experience nor expertise in this area, but since real estate is involved you might want to get some legal advice on what your responsibilities might be given you are heir to the property. Also, by getting that off your plate you might also remove some of the pain and anger you are feeling. Again, just a suggestion, but you might be able to tell the county coroner that you do not want the ashes and maybe they could place them in a pauper/unclaimed grave.

You are dealing with a lot and know my suggestions might be beyond your interest and energy levels for this, too.

Do you live close by to all this?

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Definitely see a grief counselor. Ask about EMDS. Acceptance, counseling, time. So sorry.

It’s okay to be angry. God sees your heart it hurting. If you have a pastor, speak to him/her. I don’t think your brother was in the right state of mental health. God sees that also and He understands. Perhaps after your anger, you will find forgiveness. Forgiveness is never for what the other person did. It is for ourselves, so that we will feel better. God bless you. Remember… God loves you so very, very much.

mikaylar: I too have no expertise in this area but it may be cathartic to write a letter to those who were impacted by your brothers decision and let them know how you feel. They may read it and get some comfort or they may not but it may let you take a step forward. Maybe there is some help you can also offer those people, as a paralegal. Take one hour at a time and talk to any friend for a few minutes every day.