1. < Depression & Anxiety

What is the root cause of my depression & anxiety

Posted by ohnmar @ohnmar, May 21, 2023

I moved to overseas a year ago to take new job which is extremely stressful & I started having depression & severe anxiety two months after I arrived overseas & taken up my new job. I became totally different person since then. I am loosing interest on the things that I used to enjoy my whole life. I consulted with doctor & I was on antidepressants for six months & now i stopped taking as my mood is still down & not improved. It’s a big pain for me to wake up every morning & start my job. I don’t even want to get out of bed as I don’t want to face all the problems & stress at work. I don’t know what caused me depress & anxious. Is it chemical imbalance in my brain or is it my daily lifestyle with stressful job.

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ricm58 | @ricm58 | May 23, 2023

Yes.

These days my view is simple:

Moving country is only worth it if the country you move to has as good a quality of life as the one you left, or better.

Especially if you have children.

Knowing your kids COULD have grown somewhere safer and with better work prospects or at least better social security, and didn't because YOU chose to move... is soul-destroying.

As you get older, you realise your children are EVERYthing!

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Catcando | @catharbert | May 23, 2023

I understand how you feel. I have to leave a house a love to join my husband who moved several states away in order to get the treatment he needs for his migraines. I wanted him to go because I did not want him to continue to suffer but I have been alone for 7 months. I am ill and can't drive, and don't have a car. I have no other family. I am prone to depression anyway.
My hope is that you and I can find something in Life to enjoy and to help us keep going. We need to love ourselves, know that we are good people, worthy of better days. Please keep trying. Try exercise. That used to work for me more than drugs. If you can find a good professional to talk to. Cognitive therapy is good. Read some books on self esteem. A book that helped me years ago is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. The edition that I read has been updated but if you can find an older edition I would recommend it. David D. Burns
The Feeling Good Handbook : The Groundbreaking Program with Powerful New Techniques and... 1999. Do the exercises in the book - they really will help you.
Softcover, ISBN 9780452281325 You can find this edition and others on Bookfinder.com for a lot less than Amazon. Please choose happiness.

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Mentor
Helen, Volunteer Mentor | @naturegirl5 | May 23, 2023
In reply to @ohnmar "What you said is very right. It’s only me & my husband here & there’s no..." + (show)
@ohnmar

What you said is very right. It’s only me & my husband here & there’s no none. I also can’t tell my husband frankly all about my feelings & how I am suffering being here because I don’t want him to depress like me. He resigned his job to accompany me to support my career & he may also has guilty conscience for not being able to earn income at this point of time. If he knows I am suffering here, I am afraid it will hurt his feelings.

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@ohnmar Even though you haven't talked openly with your husband about how you are feeling it's very likely that he does know that you are feeling depressed. I know this is very difficult but I suggest you talk with him about how you are feeling. You don't have to or need to say you want to quit your job and move home. That's not the point of this at all. It's a way to open the communication with your husband because that it is very key to a good relationship. Also, if you talk with him about you - and use "I" statements such as "I'm feeling very sad and I want to share how I'm feeling with you. I'm not asking you to fix or solve anything for me. I would just like for you to listen" and then reassure him this is not about him and that you very much appreciate him. This is about supporting one another with the thought that no one is to blame here. It's about how he feels his emotions and you feel your emotions.

What do you think about my suggestion?

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1 reply
ohnmar | @ohnmar | May 25, 2023
In reply to @naturegirl5 "@ohnmar Even though you haven't talked openly with your husband about how you are feeling it's..." + (show)
@naturegirl5

@ohnmar Even though you haven't talked openly with your husband about how you are feeling it's very likely that he does know that you are feeling depressed. I know this is very difficult but I suggest you talk with him about how you are feeling. You don't have to or need to say you want to quit your job and move home. That's not the point of this at all. It's a way to open the communication with your husband because that it is very key to a good relationship. Also, if you talk with him about you - and use "I" statements such as "I'm feeling very sad and I want to share how I'm feeling with you. I'm not asking you to fix or solve anything for me. I would just like for you to listen" and then reassure him this is not about him and that you very much appreciate him. This is about supporting one another with the thought that no one is to blame here. It's about how he feels his emotions and you feel your emotions.

What do you think about my suggestion?

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Thanks appreciate your suggestion which is very valid

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misu | @misu | May 25, 2023
In reply to @ohnmar "You are right. I miss my home country & family/friends so much no matter how life..." + (show)
@ohnmar

You are right. I miss my home country & family/friends so much no matter how life could be hardship there. I even tried regular exercise & it sometimes help my mood up, but doesn’t work all the time . I don’t know what to do. May be I should go back home. Besides there’s so much to adapt in new place, new working environment. It is too much & sometimes I feel like giving up & go back home

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Going back home may not be "giving up" ... can you just think of it as correcting an error in judgement? Also, going back home may be just one choice -- another move to another place with possibly less stress might be a valid option. So is staying where you are but getting a different job. Personally, I always support taking some kind of action over taking some kind of therapy, but sometimes a person needs to do both.

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