Dealing with a spouse who has profound hearing loss.

Posted by leeda5 @leeda5, May 17, 2023

My husband has dealt with serious hearing loss for years. The kids are grown and gone and he's long since retired. We have moved to a 55 plus community but it's been nearly impossible for him to make new friends. He has become a virtual hermit. Suggestions?

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There is a lot of technology that can help people with profound hearing loss. No one has to become reclusive if they are willing to use the technology available and also to advocate for it when necessary.

Cochlear implants are modern day miracles. So is assistive technology that goes beyond prescriptive hearing aids. Does your husband use assistive technology? Has he been evaluated for a cochlear implant?

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He has tried various devices that didn’t seem to be helpful somehow, his Audioligist is pleasant but doesn’t seem to be very helpful. I don’t know if you meant yo have a scolding tone but it raised my hackles. I’m not the one with the hearing loss. He is, and he doesn’t seem to have much hope in changing things.

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He must feel so isolated. I would think a polite inquiry to another audiologist would be helpful. Julie makes great points as well. Maybe a new contact will give a new perspective and a chance at some hope.

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I would think a Pocketalker Pro by Williams Sound is a personal sound amplifier that helps one hear in a noisy environment like a restaurant. It amplifies sound closest to the listener. You need headphones. It can be purchased at Amazon. I wear hearing aids in both ears and also take my Pocketalker when going on vacation. Join the Hearing Loss Association of America and visit a local chapter in your area. That is the best place to begin your journey with hearing loss. I am now 87 years old and have been a member since 1993. The year I retired I finally joined. They have a yearly convention and both you and your husband if possible should attend.
Hermine Willey
cohear@aol.com

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This is helpful! Thanks!

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@hedy

I would think a Pocketalker Pro by Williams Sound is a personal sound amplifier that helps one hear in a noisy environment like a restaurant. It amplifies sound closest to the listener. You need headphones. It can be purchased at Amazon. I wear hearing aids in both ears and also take my Pocketalker when going on vacation. Join the Hearing Loss Association of America and visit a local chapter in your area. That is the best place to begin your journey with hearing loss. I am now 87 years old and have been a member since 1993. The year I retired I finally joined. They have a yearly convention and both you and your husband if possible should attend.
Hermine Willey
cohear@aol.com

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We did just join the HLAA and my husband is very excited about that.

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@irwinbill23

He must feel so isolated. I would think a polite inquiry to another audiologist would be helpful. Julie makes great points as well. Maybe a new contact will give a new perspective and a chance at some hope.

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Isolation is the right word, Bill. He’s embarrassed because it’s hard for him to carry on a @normal conversation so he just keeps to himself. It’s been very frustrating to me. He’s excited about HLAA . I hope that we can turn a corner with this.

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@leeda5

Isolation is the right word, Bill. He’s embarrassed because it’s hard for him to carry on a @normal conversation so he just keeps to himself. It’s been very frustrating to me. He’s excited about HLAA . I hope that we can turn a corner with this.

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I will be wishing and praying that HLAA will be great. I can't imagine how difficult it is for both of you. Him being excited is a bright spot.

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It has been very discouraging. I hope that we are turning a corner.

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@leeda5

He has tried various devices that didn’t seem to be helpful somehow, his Audioligist is pleasant but doesn’t seem to be very helpful. I don’t know if you meant yo have a scolding tone but it raised my hackles. I’m not the one with the hearing loss. He is, and he doesn’t seem to have much hope in changing things.

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@leeda5 I apologize if I came on too strong. My personal journey with hearing loss includes refusing to get help and becoming reclusive. I was much younger then. Becoming involved with HLAA way back in the early 80s when the organization was called 'Self Help for Hard of Hearing People', gave me my life back. I learned I wasn't alone and discovered options none of the hearing healthcare professionals I had seen had ever mentioned.

I'm so pleased to know you've joined HLAA. Chapters vary from place to place because they are organized and run by volunteers. It would be wonderful if every 55 plus community had an HLAA chapter or at least a discussion group focused on hearing loss. Data from the National Institutes of Health indicates that nearly 50% of the 65+ population has some degree of hearing loss.

A very wise friend I met through HLAA always said "When a family member has a hearing problem, everyone in the family has a hearing problem".

Last week I enjoyed an evening with a group of women I've known since the 70s. We played bridge together and watched each other's kids grow up. Good friends; all of us in our early 80s now. Three of the 6 who were there expressed frustration about their spouse's hearing loss and how it was affecting them, especially their social life. Even though all of them are in reasonably good health they don't do couple things much anymore.

I am sitting right there at the table with them using a very visible cordless microphone with my personal technology, so they are aware of add on tech. But none of their husbands use it or have it. Why?

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