I can relate well what you're going through. When I came back to the US after living in Brazil for several years, I ended up in a locked ward in FL's main VA unit, W. Palm Beach. I was there for only eleven days, but I actually had no idea of how long I was there because I didn't get any sleep--none at all--the whole time I was there. It was more like a nightmare prison stay than a place to get the help I needed. I bounced in an out of panic attacks, was barely able to dress myself, and the medication they put me on helped to increase my paranoia until I finally ended up refusing to take any of the med's they were giving me. There were other combat vets who seemed to be getting along quite well, but since I was supposed to be there to treat me for Parkinson's, all I could think about, aside from being with my wife again, was that I was becoming demented, an eventual condition for many of us with PD. When I finally was released, I got to the air-b&b on Hutchiinson Island, and began writing letters to state officials, Veteran's service organizations, high-level hospital representatives, and anyone else I was able to locate on the 'net. I eventually got some decent responses, some which would not help me, but would help to improve the care of veterans who would eventually look to the VA for help; that was the best I could do. Now, I'm awaiting the results of my veteran's evaluation for PD, and not expecting much because the VN vets really got shafted compared to the volunteer service men and women of today. I'm still getting 0.5 mg of alprazolam from the same nurse practitioner in Orange County, CA, and am not faring too bad when I don't take any meds at all, but at least have something to help me out during anxiety attacks and the occasionaly panic attacks that seem to come on without any triggers that I am able to detect. I believe that after a certain amount of time, a person's brain goes through changes--chemically/neurologically that make stoppin the drugs, even if taken in small doses, a horrible experience.

Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. There must be many hundreds of thousands of people like us left alone to deal with the effects of witch doctors and Big Pharma. When I asked a psychiatrist many years ago about the long-term affects of the medication I was taking to treat my Bipolar disorder, the man didn't even look up from writing up the notes they're required to enter after each session, he kept his head down looking and typing into his laptop and merely said, "Can't be good." And he was one of the leading doctors in Ventura, CA at the time. I wish you well, but I trust that many of the quacks out there have to eventually face up to what they've done and continue to do to those in need who come to them for help; the help we all as human beings deserve.