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My journey as a husband supporting my wife’s mastectomy decision

Caregivers | Last Active: Apr 30, 2023 | Replies (142)
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@jepthah

Of coarse by now this is all past. The procedure is complete. In about two years please revisit the topic of decisions made at this stage with your wife and let her tell us if she would have done anything different.
It is good that you have been so supportive. Notice how few men are here. It isn’t because so few are being supportive of their spouses during this difficult time. It is because they can see how little sympathy exists for their own emotional journey as a caregiver.
Few people can relate to the real and perceived losses . The anticipatory grieving. The concern about the toll on a marriage that Men face in times like these.
At present with my wife and myself it is not yet time to talk about the options she may or may not have with her biopsy still pending. But both of us are anticipating loss. And both of us are hoping for something better than mere loss prevention.

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Replies to "Of coarse by now this is all past. The procedure is complete. In about two years..."
Chris, Volunteer Mentor | @auntieoakley | Apr 24, 2023

Welcome @jepthah please try not to judge this site on this conversation alone. I was so bewildered with the way this conversation went and continued that I kind of abandoned it.
Of course the husband feels loss, loss of life plans, loss of a sense of health and well being. Even a loss financial security can be a big part of cancer.
I understand that there can be high emotions involved in being the caregiver and the patient, I am both.
Being the caregiver is harder in my case. Being the patient was physically the hardest thing I have ever done. Caring for him in an ICU that was expected to end badly was the worst 15 days of my life,
I give those extreme situations because it preludes hope. There is always hope, no matter what diagnosis you are given. I am still looking to my next ride, and my husband still requires my daily help with many things, but still enjoys a good laugh with me in the evenings.
Does your wife have a pathology report yet from her initial biopsies?

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