Lump vs mastectomy. Stuck between her choice and what I feel is best.
So a little history. My wife sister died of Breast cancer 25 years ago. It was a second occurrence for her. Now my wife was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. Single tumor 3.5 cm stage 1. Genetically negative. No other signs of any spread. Doctor said we caught it early and suggested a lumpectomy. Fast forward 2 weeks, countless doctor appointments and mountains of information. She has decided to go full tilt and do a double mastectomy. So 4 doctors and her husband suggest a conservative approach. All the research seems to put lumpectomy ver mastectomy on a level playing field and she is hitting it with everything.
Here is my dilemma , I don’t agree with her decision. I get she is scared and tired of 25 years of worry. I understand she just wants to get to the finish line. I just think she is making a rash decision and not looking at it objectively. And I get she is not really in a state of mind to make a clearheaded decision. I feel that is where I come in. I’m the stats guy. I’m the one who can look at things from a few feet back. My job is to be the rock through this. The support when her knees give out. Every time I try to talk to her, the claws come out and she goes into a full frontal assault accusing me of not respecting her body and her decision. That is not what I am trying to do. All I’m saying is a lumpectomy can become a mastectomy, but a mastectomy can never become a lumpectomy. It is a one way street. If two years from now she gets off the emotional roller coaster she can be making a life changing decision. She will never grow them back. She will lose nipple sensation forever. Without nipple sensation she will most likely never have another organism. She is giving up everything because right now she is afraid of the future.
Sorry to have rambled on but I just don’t know how to support something that I think is a fundamentally rash and wrong decision. Anyone insight is very appreciated.