Problem Taking Showers

Thank you so much for your comments. I know this subject is a bit difficult to talk about but it helps to share others' thoughts about the problem. You were very brave to go into detail and I truly appreciate that. Thanks again and you take care.

I don't think I'm answering some of these comments properly. I should be replying to each comment alone. I will be more aware of this. Thanks folks. Right here I replied to my own comment. Really?? I'll get there.

Thank you so much for your comments. I'm not afraid of falling (I'm 75 years old) although at times I am but that's not the reason for my not showering. It just seems overwhelming to get in the tub and once I do I enjoy it so much and give myself kudos for finally getting it done. I tell myself I will start taking showers more often and then maybe it will just turn into an everyday thing but that never works. I have been told that elderly people do get lazy with their hygiene but I don't feel that this is the case because I have always been immaculate with myself but not for a long time. Seems since my sister died on September 20 of 2015, my cat died shortly before my sister passed and I quite my job when Judy became ill with a rare form or cancer and I just could not concentrate anymore with so much on my mind. After that my life changed to much. I'm rambling here so I'll end my comments here. Thank you again for taking the time to write to me. : )

I live in an assisted living facility and there are personal care assistants that will give you a shower. My problem is that they are mostly young pretty girls and I’m an old man at 70. I feel ugly and embarrassed when they help me. I have refused their help for over a year.
I don’t feel comfortable being in the shower with young 20 year old, fresh out of high school girls.

There is a seat and grab bars everywhere but I don’t feel comfortable with young girls to help me even though I’m at that point now . I need a cane now due to my vertigo and taking a shower has become dangerous for me.

I need their assistance but I don’t dare ask. I never stink, even in 90 degree temperatures. But I change all my clothes daily. I haven’t taken a shower in almost a year but you’d never know it.

When I was in a nursing home for physical therapy I had no problem getting naked and getting help from the staff but once I got to my facility I became shy. I never sweat but my scalp is loaded with psoriasis and when they cut my hair it’s obvious with all the dandruff on the floor. How do I get out of this phobia?

Hi Andy,
The tennis player, Stan Wawrinka (you probably don't know him), but he is called Stan the Man. Anyway, re the phobia, are you referring to the young girls giving you the shower? I know that being a woman I would be very embarrassed if a male were giving me a shower. Is there any way that you can ask for possibly a male aid to help you, or even for an older woman (is that more likely)? I do feel for you and I can imagine your embarrassment because I too would be embarrassed if a young male aid were helping me with my shower. Fortunately I don't have any problem getting into the shower re falling (although sometimes I do get a bit scared and I do have a small bar that sticks to the side of the bathtub but I would rather have a metal one installed. I need a doctor's note for that one (I live in affordable living (65") and I am 75. I wish I had some good advice for your dilemma but all I have is what I said above. BTW, I am 5'9" and as you said I never have any odor and what about using the baby wipes (I do) and they are really good. As far as your hair you can get a type of cap that does wash your hair (I ordered some for my friend who is in a nursing home but my friend has had 2 strokes, heart attack and she has cancer. Why does this happen to one of the most caring, helpful, selfless person that I know. Well, I think I am talked out and I hope I have given you little help. If you want to reply feel free to. I wish you well Andy the Man. : )

I'm in the same boat. I wash the areas that need to be washed, but only shower about once a week. It's hard to get motivated to do anything.
I go for counseling and am on duloxatine and buproprion, but nothing seems to help.

Bupropion. Isn't that Wellbutrin? I take 150 mg in the morning. Good stuff. Works for me. As far as a 70 year old man being washed by these personal care attendants ( not even cna’s !) reminded me of the first assisted care facility I went to where I had to be checked for bruises or cuts upon admittance on my whole body. I had to go in the shower naked with no water running to have an 18 year old girl check me from head to toe! The nurse said “you don’t need to be shy”

Men are worst. It feels weird to be asked by a big guy who works out if I wanted him to give me a shower like I was asked while in rehab.

An older cna or rn woman wouldn’t bother me. That’s what I need but all staff here seem like they are just out of high school. They do everything for me including showers if I want one. She serves me dinner then asks if I want a shower! Hell no!
Just seems creepy to me.

I’ll wait until I fall before I ask them to be in the shower room with me. Or at least, come close to losing my balance.

I more than hear you. Taking a simple shower can be so anxiety provoking for me. I get it in my head that I "can't make it through the shower"...am "going to collapse" that kind of thinking. So now I have a shower seat and more grab bars. Sometimes my husband lays on the bed waiting for me. And, yes, those shower wipes are a good idea when it is simply too much for me. Obviously I have a severe panic disorder. I even think the "closed-in" feeling is part of my anxiety. Often I talk myself through it. I found taking a shower in the AM is better than the evenings - perhaps switching up your time might help. Do try positive self talk. "Wow, I am washing myself!"..."I can do this, I am almost done!" I have even "prayed" myself through a shower. If there is one thing I want to leave you with is...You Are Not Alone! Take it - a shower - one small step at a time.

Well, guess what? I took a bath and, of course, a shower and washed my hair and it felt wonderful! Thank you for telling me your story and I feel for you. It must be terrible to have such anxiety, your mind is overthinking itself. The brain is so powerful but not always in a good way. The seat and grab bars are a good thing for you. I have a small grab bar but I would prefer a steel one for the strength of it. You are lucky to have a hubby there with you. I live alone and my fat cat Lola is no help at all. : ) I just wish that I could make a habit of it. Even three times a week would be great and it is doable if I push myself and make it a joyful thing rather than a huge deal. Again, thanks so much for sharing your story with me and do take care. Scappa

One thing to try is a wonderful smelling soap. It might help put a positive spin on things. Personally, I use Neutrogena Rainbath gel, because it is kind to my very sensitive skin. And to wash my face, I use Dr. Bronner's Liquid Castile Soap [which can be used as a body wash and even shampoo!]

Making your shower and cleanup something to look forward to is important. Not having it feel like a major chore, something you don't want to do, can change your brain around. What do you think?
Ginger