I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. You sound like a wonderful wife. In answer to your question about talking to a doctor about your husband behind his back, my opinion is “Yes.” My son was diagnosed 6 years ago with PD. He is now 48. I was with him, my husband and my son’s soon-to-be ex-wife at the neurologist office a few months ago. I lagged behind and spoke to the PA by myself about my son’s personal life because I didn’t know if he knew what was going on. I’m so glad I did. The doctors had no idea that my son’s wife is divorcing him, that they have 5 young children, that his wife has been dating for almost 2 years and that we had to take most of our savings and purchase a house for him so he could be close to his kids. It means a lot for doctors to know a patient’s personal history since it effects their mental & emotional state. I also requested that my son see the neurologist whenever he has an appointment. They agreed to it. You just have to ask, insist if you have to. Is there a chance your husband would consent to a trip to the Mayo Clinic for an evaluation? I think that would be the BEST thing for him. That’s what I’m trying to get my son to do now because I think he’s on too much medication. I also found a much better neurologist for him but he hasn’t consented to go yet. I don’t like the fact that you had to wait 5 months for an appointment. Isn’t that outrageous! Whatever you can get your husband to consent to, you probably won’t have the opportunity like I had to lag behind & talk. But there is another way…write EVERYTHING down, even dates if you can. Keep it hidden from your husband and a week before his appointment, mail it to the doctor, marked “personal.” After all, you’re simply trying to do your best to help the love of your life. I wrote a letter in the very beginning because my son needed a second opinion and this top neurologist at Columbia Presbyterian in NYC couldn’t see him for months. I called his office behind my son’s back. The secretary couldn’t help me. I asked her if I could write a letter and she said it couldn’t hurt. I wrote a very heartfelt letter and mailed it, asking the neurologist not to tell my son and he didn’t. Within about one week, my son called to tell me the doctor pushed his appointment up by 3 months. I was so happy. I believe if we approach doctors like we would a friend, they will respond. After all, God has created all of us equal, even if we don’t have any degrees. 🥰. Lastly, our biggest weapon against these awful diseases is prayer. 🙏🏼. Talk to God. He hears ALL of our prayers and He loves you & your husband very much. If you send me your husband’s first name only, I will put him on my Parkinson’s prayer list. I forgot to say that my
oldest son has finally stepped in to help, thank God. The problem is that we all live 3 hours apart from one another. We truly need a miracle! And I expect one! God bless you & your husband. 🌺🙏🏼🌺