Endless withdrawal from benzos and pregabalin

Posted by chaos @chaos, Jun 3, 2022

Hi,
I’m at my wit’s end. I have been withdrawing for so so long that euthanasia is looking good to me. Since last November I have withdrawn from clonazepam and closely followed by pregabalin. Actually still struggling with the later drug. I am not sleeping, full of anxiety, fear and wanting to off myself. It feels like every week I reduce the drug, I lose hope that things will get better. I don’t have anyone in the medical system that understands withdrawal from these drugs.
It would be good to connect with people that have gone through this process and have improved their lives.
Also, I’m not sure if there is a discussion already in place for this topic.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Addiction & Recovery Support Group.

@marye2

For your back pain, check out physical therapy; I learned stretches and strengthening moves for piriformis (hip/sciatica), hamstrings and glutes. I use much less pain medicine now.

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Thank you very much God bless you hope you had a great Easter

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@lindasmith1222

Thank you for your service (I mean this sincerely as I am sure you hear this a lot, at least I hope so). California politics have set the standard for many changes around the entire country. I experienced the same as you in Arizona, my friend in Wisconsin, same thing and she has severe PTSD, now I live in Myrtle Beach and I was treated like a drug addict here for wanting to continue my valium, at a low dosage mind you, to no avail. I went to mental health workers, NP, MDs and felt like I was 'doctor shopping' as the true drug addicted call it. Also, these modalities wanted to prescribe me expensive pills for sleep that were even more addictive than valium! t It took me nearly a year but now I am off of it. I saved a bottle for the times I have severe anxiety, too, but the reality is someday they will be gone. I cannot offer you any advice. All I can tell you from my experience is I had much anxiety when I quit, but it got better over time. I had to learn ho to go to sleep w/o. It isn't easy, but it was worth it for me.

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Thank you for your reply. I empathize with what you had to go through. Having PD and difficulty walking, I've been stopped on three occasions by the police who treated my as if I were a drunk or drug addict because I was taking my daily walk (I have a slow, shuffling gait) to help clear my mind and start my day on a healthy note. I was also treated as a drug addict by pharmacists back when I had prescriptions for minimal doses of Xanax/Klonopin --.05-1 mg. Now, I'm unable to get prescriptions for either of these here in southern CA and mostly stay at home rather than deal with my local, judgmental police neighborhood busybodies who call the police on me for being suspicious.

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@cgs

Thank you very much God bless you hope you had a great Easter

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And, you, too. Thanks for your great post: I hope it catches attention. A few years ago I got off of 80 mg of oxy for lots of broken ribs. I took longer and with smaller decreases than recommended. My doctors were not very free with info: I went online.

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@horowitz71

Thank you for your reply. I empathize with what you had to go through. Having PD and difficulty walking, I've been stopped on three occasions by the police who treated my as if I were a drunk or drug addict because I was taking my daily walk (I have a slow, shuffling gait) to help clear my mind and start my day on a healthy note. I was also treated as a drug addict by pharmacists back when I had prescriptions for minimal doses of Xanax/Klonopin --.05-1 mg. Now, I'm unable to get prescriptions for either of these here in southern CA and mostly stay at home rather than deal with my local, judgmental police neighborhood busybodies who call the police on me for being suspicious.

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I'd guess a dog and walking poles might help? Don't let the turkeys get you down: live your full life.

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@horowitz71

Thank you for your understanding and the info you provided. At this point I'm willing to try anything to stay positive and maintain my body & mind. I take additional B-12, keep mindful throughout the day using breathing techniques, and do my tai chi wherever it's convenient to do so. I haven't tried EFT tapping, but have met people who say it's helped them immensely. My biggest problem now is getting regular sleep; many PD people have insomnia and not being the athlete I'd been my whole life, I'm just not getting enough exercise to achieve a restful night of sleep. I was a pro surfer and surfed until diagnosed with PD--cause weakness and severe balance problems, and was an avid tennis player as well. It took months of physical therapy in order to be able to walk normally. I use all the coping skills at my disposal, having been diagnosed with a bipolar mood disorder, so at this point I'm doing the best I can--keeping a balance between mania and depression, which is not easy without the medication that helped me to remain stable for the past thirty years. Small doses of Xanax and Klonpin were lifesavers for me, and without access to these med's, I've become pretty much of a recluse.

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I have MCTD autoimmune. Sleep has been an ongoing issue, but this year I found a sleep doctor who sent me to cognitive behavior. They had a questionnaire about my day (naps, bedtime, etc. etc) and then used an algorithm for advice. And, it worked! I still have some issues, but generally getting deeper sleep. Dr Michael Grandner of the University of Arizona helped me; sleep doctor is through Banner Hospital. Still, I have pain pills, and various topical fixes (ie lidocaine patches), stretches before bed, but pretty much at the end of a frustrating viscious cycle. I find the hybrid Indica CBD/THC (5 mg) gummies help, but those might not be possible for you. Like you, I don't have the physical and mental tiredness that matches anymore. Tai Chi is great; I also like water exercise.

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@marye2

And, you, too. Thanks for your great post: I hope it catches attention. A few years ago I got off of 80 mg of oxy for lots of broken ribs. I took longer and with smaller decreases than recommended. My doctors were not very free with info: I went online.

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A lot of young people today who've done quite well in the job market without having to take out huge loans to pay for college tell me they learned their trad at the University of Youtube. There's so much information online these days, but you have to check the sources.

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@marye2

I have MCTD autoimmune. Sleep has been an ongoing issue, but this year I found a sleep doctor who sent me to cognitive behavior. They had a questionnaire about my day (naps, bedtime, etc. etc) and then used an algorithm for advice. And, it worked! I still have some issues, but generally getting deeper sleep. Dr Michael Grandner of the University of Arizona helped me; sleep doctor is through Banner Hospital. Still, I have pain pills, and various topical fixes (ie lidocaine patches), stretches before bed, but pretty much at the end of a frustrating viscious cycle. I find the hybrid Indica CBD/THC (5 mg) gummies help, but those might not be possible for you. Like you, I don't have the physical and mental tiredness that matches anymore. Tai Chi is great; I also like water exercise.

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I really enjoy water aerobics. They have free classes at a local fitness club for people with MS and PD. That takes care of socializing and exercise for two days/week. I walk first thing in the morning (usually just around the block)--great way to begin the day. I've tried Indica gummies--didn't do much for me, and the tinctures are just too potent: actually feel stoned even though they are supposedly THC-free. I can't handle anything that reminds me of marijuana--gives me flashbacks from when I was in Vietnam and quite a large number of Marine Corps grunts smoked very potent opiated pot. I was extremely paranoid then, and still have horrible nightmares to this day. I got a small 20% disability rating for shrapnel wounds and never applied for a mental disability rating from the Veterans Admin because until I came down with Parkinson's, I felt that so many others were more deserving of the benefits and were neither receiving help, but simply ignored. The government is now handing out full disability to many of the military personnel who are coming back from the middle east and claiming PTSD, and these people enlisted, unlike my generation which saw more than a third of all deaths being draftees; so I've finally decided to be evaluated--it would help my wife greatly to get some more money every month--and my Parkinson's likely came from one of two, or even both sources: Agent Orange exposure or toxic drinking water from when I was stationed at Camp LeJeune; and the troops coming home from SE Asia received little or no support when we were released from active duty. I've adapted to living with the physical symptoms of PD, but it's the cognitive decline that worries my wife. She's a wonderful person and notices that I'm beginning to show signs of dementia; I certainly don't want to be a burden on her. We've been together for nearly 40 years, and life's been good to us as we've grown older together.

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@horowitz71

Thank you for your reply. I empathize with what you had to go through. Having PD and difficulty walking, I've been stopped on three occasions by the police who treated my as if I were a drunk or drug addict because I was taking my daily walk (I have a slow, shuffling gait) to help clear my mind and start my day on a healthy note. I was also treated as a drug addict by pharmacists back when I had prescriptions for minimal doses of Xanax/Klonopin --.05-1 mg. Now, I'm unable to get prescriptions for either of these here in southern CA and mostly stay at home rather than deal with my local, judgmental police neighborhood busybodies who call the police on me for being suspicious.

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Are you 71? I am 71 years old. In my opinion, our culture is rapidly going down the tubes. I was taught to respect my elders. And I did and still do. That was my generation. I call my generation the Next Generation. The next to move on to the rainbow bridge! The answer to all my problems today is acceptance, acceptance, acceptance. We all have our crosses to bear and our aches and pains. I am in constant pain, entire body. I take nothing for it. I was addicted to oxycodone for 15 years. I am not a drug addict, but I was addicted. I am 100% sure I am not an addict so when I was treated as such, I prayed for the lost and uninformed. Some days are better than others. For me, I had to change my thinking, or I would have offed myself. I, too, took minimal dosages of everything I THOUGHT I had to take. But that was then, and this is now. I lived in southern California for 5 years. I was looking for the California Dream I kept hearing about. It was a nightmare, and I did everything I could to leave. I finally did and it was one of the best decisions I made. I am in Myrtle Beach now. I can go to the ocean/beach in the morning, takes 10 minutes to get there. Free parking if you live in Myrtle. The few police walking the beat are friendly and very helpful. At the beach, for 7 months out of the year before the tourists take over, no one is there but me and the wide, wide universe. Myrtle is not for everybody. In fact, too many people are moving here, even from California, although most people don't like it. Soon it will be crowded, and this small piece of the good life will be destroyed. I know I am safe here for today. The VA here is excellent. It is in the best neighborhood. Small operation but friendly and caring. Short walk from the parking lot to the building, but if I need help walking, the staff are observant from the doors and come and help me with a wheelchair. Staff know you by your name after a while. Southerners are fantastic for the most part, there are always a few rotten eggs wherever one goes, but the bad eggs are in the minority and tend to move away after a while. Never difficult to make an appointment and be seen. The city broke ground for new low rent housing near the VA. Of course, the well to do in the area fought it, not in my neighborhood, they screamed! There isn't a one of them that is a southerner. I am so grateful today. Life is good. Yesterday was Easter. A new beginning today.

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Hi Linda, we're the same age. Acceptance and non-judgmental are my mantras. I ran away to CA when I wasn't quite fourteen, never even finished 7th grade; lived a great life there in the 60s until I got drafted. When I was released from active duty, I wasn't in condition to surf at the pro level, but continued surfing/traveling and writing surfing articles and sending in photos until that became too much of a commercial venture for me. Now I haven't surfed for six years and hardly miss it. My wife thinks I'm crazy to be getting in shape to hit the tennis courts with my torn-up body. I had to learn how to walk again five years ago, but with lots of physical therapy and having been an athlete my whole life... I'm waiting for a consult with a surgeon to see about yet another operation, this time to repair torn ligaments in my elbow. I have fun while I'm playing sports, but afterword is a whole different story. Myrtle Beach was a nice place--surfed a contest there in the mid 60s, but haven't given it any thought about moving there. It's outrageously expensive on the CA coast, so we're thinking of moving to the Research Triangle, NC, and getting a house on the GI Bill. Hopefully, that will be our last move. We're both tired of being nomads, but feel grateful being members of the Next Generation; definitely wouldn't want to be a kid growing up today.

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@marye2

And, you, too. Thanks for your great post: I hope it catches attention. A few years ago I got off of 80 mg of oxy for lots of broken ribs. I took longer and with smaller decreases than recommended. My doctors were not very free with info: I went online.

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My little grandson Tommy came down with leukemia when he was 3 years old and he was at Children's Hospital in Dayton Ohio and one of the first things that his doctor said was he told his parents my granddaughter and her husband to stay off of the internet to stay off of line and to trust them and their expertise and the hospital and the information that they have and they're available to them for curing his leukemia and they they did that and it saved them a lot of anxiety and confusion and also maybe even interference with treating my grandson today he's cancer-free he's been to Disneyland as part of the program that they had for the children and he's going he's been going to school through the covid and he hasn't been sick anymore and he's doing great so I think it's best to listen to The Experts and not try to be your own doctor sometimes

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