Connect
My Opioid Addiction
MY OPIOID ADDICTION
My body is my major negative asset. I am riddled with pain. At a 5, 6 or 7 out of 10 on my pain scale, I still function normally, just living through it. At a 10, I suffer in bed. As a youth I had occasional, classic aural/nausea migraines. They became more frequent and less severe, till they morphed into chronic daily headaches. Knee pain resulted in a knee replacement. But arthritis continues to attack my lower back and neck. My piriformis muscles too, add to the relentless pain.
I probably saw a hundred medical practitioners from both traditional medicine,-pain or neurology specialists, to alternative treatment, from acupuncture to cupping. Nothing worked except drugs... especially when oxycodone was introduced to the medical market.
My doctor was very enthusiastic. There was a medical mantra they all bought into that was clearly promoted by the drug company.
They believed that there was a difference between those who used oxycodone for recreational use who could be addicted, but if used for pain and no high was experienced, you could not become addicted, you were only ‘dependent’. I never experienced any high on opioids.
Somehow it was assumed that ‘dependent’ was a mild issue that could be easily rectified if necessary. You could just quit anytime. I started with Percocets a few times a day. It soon was not enough. My doc prescribed Oxycontin. It was soon not enough.
A friend had a fentanyl patch. My doc said he only prescribed a patch for terminal cancer patients. He upped the Oxycontin dose... again... and again. I continued to complain of pain. Finally he added a fentanyl patch. I began taking 160 mg of combined Oxycontin and Percocets, plus the patch.
I was a drug addict. I remember driving up the Don Valley Parkway in Toronto, in bumper to bumper, stop and go, rush hour traffic, in a drug stupor. I fell asleep at a pause and was only awakened by car horns urging me to move on. It was time to stop.
A pain specialist advised moving into a residential rehab facility. I opted for the do-it-yourself option. I researched the process and decided to do it on my own. It took me 6 months to get off the opioids.
I asked my wife what it was like when I was getting off the drug. “You lost your mind. You kept saying to everyone you saw the Buddha on the road. You wandered up and down the beach at the cottage buttonholing people and talking nonsense and breaking down crying.”
My cottage neighbour, a doctor, who observed me in this state, called it ‘ebullient emotion’, typical when patients have strokes or when in shock. I burst into bouts of convulsive weeping without any reason. I did that frequently during my detox.
I reduced my dose by 5mg a week. It was agony. After a couple of months the detox twisted my mind. I was nearly mad. Even when I was down to 5mg per day it was excruciating. I wanted to give up and get a strong dose, but I persisted.
I remember talking to Laurie, a pharmacist at Shoppers Drug Mart in Penetanguishene and asked her if there was anything I could take to get me over the agony on my last 5mg.
She asked how much I had reduced from. “160mg and a fentanyl patch,” I replied.
“On your own?’ she asked, incredulously.
“Yes,” I said.
“That’s unheard of,” she said. Her face signalled shock.
Every time I hear one of many current statistical opioid stories on TV, I am reminded of my addiction and detox. For example: * There were 2833 opioid related deaths in Ontario last year. * In the USA, there were more than 70,200 overdose deaths in just 2017. More than 130 people died every day from opioid- related drug overdoses.
On TV as I wrote this, someone declared, “One hundred people die from gun violence in the USA every day”. 130 from opioids! 100 from gun violence! Are these not preventable?
I have been free of opioids for a few years now. The pain persists but I am better off than where I was. My wife had nightmares about my drugged period. “I thought we were going to lose you.” I am still here.
By the way, I really did see the Buddha on the road.
Like
Helpful
HugInterested in more discussions like this? Go to the Chronic Pain Support Group.
Connect
Re: Post from Jenatsky ...
You might change your opinion if you had Axonal Sensory Neuropathy and Gabapentin + Tramadol were the only medicines alleviating the pain.
My doctor is an expert who wants me to feel better.
All my doctors know everything I take and none of them has expressed any objection to Gabapentin + Tramadol.
I have read the fine-printed information sheets that come with my prescriptions, they don't mention interaction between Gabapentin and Tramadol.
I have been taking them for awhile without any side effects.
They seem to be the right medicine for my condition at this time.
As we have been discussing here, people who do not have epilepsy or neuropathy might be affected differently than real patients are.
So, until something better is invented (bless the scientists) I'm sticking with this.
Thanks for sharing.
Peggy
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionPost Script:
My doctor warned me that Tramadol has a tendency to lose its effectiveness if used every day, so I don't take it on Sundays - I just suffer on Sundays.
I asked my pain management doc if that is enough of a break to keep it from losing effectiveness. At this time, he thinks that it is.
Peggy
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionI posted a reply, it's on page 11 at the moment. pfbacon
I am glad to hear med is still working. I have used Percocet for 10 years,bubu to every 4hours it is still working I try not to go over 25mg. Also trying mindfulness and p.t.
You might ask your cardiologist if buprenorphine for pain is a viable solution to decrease pill use? I cannot take NSAIDs for inflammation and I’m always concerned about my liver and the Tylenol in Percocet. I use patches every 7 days and my chronic back and leg pain is controlled enough that I can walk 2 miles daily. I checked into buprenorphine and cardiac disease and found no contraindications but I don’t know your meds which is why I suggest speaking with cardiologist. Sorry about the misunderstanding.
Thanks for your info.i will check with my cardiologist. It's encouraging that you can walk that far. That is my goal with my physical therapist. She comes to me from Luna,which is covered by my ppo insurance. They are really good.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
1 ReactionGreetings:
I have tried it all since a spinal cord injury in 2006. By 2010, I was on 300 mg of morphine and 100 mcg of fentanyl. I knew I was dying so I attended the PRC and came off all the drugs. That worked wonderful until 2019 when I was diagnosed with another rare neurological disorder. Fortunately, my state has a medical Marijuana program so I gave it a try. For me, it allows me to move, it helps with my constant nausha and pain by 20%. Keep looking for answers and searching for hope, everyone. My next frontier is using Biofeedback to help reduce pain. I am hopeFULL
I’m 78 years old I worked until 70 without health problems unti I had a knee replacement worse decision of my life I have chronic pain I currently take 600 mg of gabapentin and 100mg of tramadol on most days sometimes I reduce the dosage to half I am determined to stop taking these drugs I’ve noticed that in good weather I only take 300 mg gabapentin. The winters are when I have the most pain I’m thankful I’m not taking higher doses and I don’t think I’m dependent on the drugs I’m always in pain. Horrible!
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
2 Reactions@ldb if you’re still experiencing chronic pain are you obtaining any relief from biofeedback? I do not believe I could sustain my level of activity without some type of narcotic medication. Although I’ve been able to almost totally cease my need for any breakthrough pain meds, I still require buprenorphine patches for chronic severe pain. Cannabis alone with acute pain in my experience causes more acute sensation of pain rather than dumping it.
Unfortunate you’ve suffered all this time with knee pain but why? Your surgery should have fixed your arthritic knee with a new one. Most patients with knee replacements are happy campers. Please fill me in?