Anyone feel devasted about how you look & feel? And guilty too?

Posted by colely @colely, Jan 23, 2023

My Oncologist's reply to my wanting to take Propecia for genetic, and Tamoxifen- induced hair loss and thinning was the following: "This is controversial. There is no data that says it is safe and it could be potentially harmful, ( increased breast cancer risk). We are not in favor of using propecia." Well, there is always a capillus cap. If I had the money. Do any of you feel devastated by how you physically feel and now look from a masectomy and sentinal lymph node removal, and taking Tamoxifen, but feel guilty because other wonderful women are suffering so much more?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Breast Cancer Support Group.

@bcwarrior

@colely Please accept my apology. That's it I'm in the time-out chair indefinitely. Not planning to ever post again. It was never my intent to make anyone feel worse than they already do. Good Bye to all I'm so very sorry. Please be well and blessed.

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I am not going to be made into the bad guy that made you leave this site. I was commenting on how I feel. You have every right, as everyone does, to express yourself . And try to help others. It is one thing we can all do to make this experience meaningful, while going through our many, individual, trials. You have every right to post your video. But you are hardly representative of most masectomy women I have seen. I think most would agree that you are gorgeous, boobs or no boobs. I am dealing with the fact that I have a malformed spine, and chest and rib cage. I was bullied by boys in adolescence. My B cup breasts, developing, rescued me. Now I look very bad, and disfigured. The surgeries that they have now can't be done on me. Anyway, every one should be able to feel free to express themselves, on this wonderful site. I am so thankful for it.

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@bcwarrior

@colely Please accept my apology. That's it I'm in the time-out chair indefinitely. Not planning to ever post again. It was never my intent to make anyone feel worse than they already do. Good Bye to all I'm so very sorry. Please be well and blessed.

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This last exchange made me feel really sad. I don't think anyone was ill-intentioned or wanted to upset anyone. I think the question about how not to compare ourselves is important. Maybe the start is to really know we are not other people--just ourselves? And each of us is wonderful in our own way no matter what is going on.

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@bcwarrior

@colely Please accept my apology. That's it I'm in the time-out chair indefinitely. Not planning to ever post again. It was never my intent to make anyone feel worse than they already do. Good Bye to all I'm so very sorry. Please be well and blessed.

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Do not leave, please. I once had someone totally misconstrue (and misread) something I posted who then lit into me. There will always be the occasional misunderstanding or even overreaction because everyone here is in various stages of hope and/or despair (and frustration). And we have good days and bad days and sometimes say things we don't mean and regret, or we just say them in a way that is misunderstood. After I was attacked, I felt like you and dropped out for a bit. I've since resumed posting (here I am), and have gotten many "likes" and "helpful"s. So believe, everyone here has value. No one is perfect, especially with the challenges we face daily. So, stay.

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@bcwarrior

@drummergirl Hi nice to meet you, I too have no boobs as of 05/2022 and lost all my teeth 10/2022 due to all the years of meds I took on my first walk with BC. It was more expensive to have dental repair work than to have extractions. I wore a wig the first time and decided I would not do that again just my decision. My first oncologist wants to start me as a new patient and put me in the survivorship program. My second oncologist retired. Hi, @colely Did you watch the youtube video I posted? Flat & Proud. To answer your question I never feel devasted about how I looked then and/or now. The only time I felt guilt was when I was on the chemo floor waiting for more poison and I said something to a woman that I thought was there to support someone else she said "This is my 2nd time with BC" I'm grinning at you all ear to ear with no teeth. Having Coho Salmon with brandy, butter brown sugar, and baked sweet potato for dinner. Stay Strong Sister there is light at the end of this tunnel. I just sent a prayer for you. oxoxoxo

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Bcwarrior- you are a valued member of this group. Please come back and share with us again.

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@bcwarrior

@colely Please accept my apology. That's it I'm in the time-out chair indefinitely. Not planning to ever post again. It was never my intent to make anyone feel worse than they already do. Good Bye to all I'm so very sorry. Please be well and blessed.

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Don’t leave the group or stop posting, your posts are positive and show us what a warrior you are! We post here to sometimes vent - and we are allowed - to get support from
Others in similar situations and to ask advice . And you post to offer support and give advice, not knowing the full story of the other person, you know only what they have shared!

Thank you for all your input and positive posts!

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@leeann66

Don’t leave the group or stop posting, your posts are positive and show us what a warrior you are! We post here to sometimes vent - and we are allowed - to get support from
Others in similar situations and to ask advice . And you post to offer support and give advice, not knowing the full story of the other person, you know only what they have shared!

Thank you for all your input and positive posts!

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So many emotions
Be with us for the rest of our lives
Do t understand other than the expense why PET Scans aren’t ordered
Anybody’s nipple
Get necroses
How can u tell if I’m going to lose it
What options are there
I’m depleted with all the tests and surgeries
Just waiting for
My lymph results
Thank all of u so much

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@celica

So many emotions
Be with us for the rest of our lives
Do t understand other than the expense why PET Scans aren’t ordered
Anybody’s nipple
Get necroses
How can u tell if I’m going to lose it
What options are there
I’m depleted with all the tests and surgeries
Just waiting for
My lymph results
Thank all of u so much

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I got necrosis
Lost bld supply during lumpectomy
Took out huge margin as results weren’t back fr the MRI - just found it by chance
Had a negative pressure on twice
Wound had to be packed for about 3
Weeks Got
Am infection was in IV antibiotics for 2 wks and 3
Oral
Areola looks like a saucer and
Larger weird
Looking
Nipple
Still hardened I had my surgery in May so maybe will fill in a little Coukd
Get a tat later I suppose
I am cancer free but
My ONCO test was high so now I have to go for chemo
Scared shitless
Should I cut
My hair
Now?

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@celica

I got necrosis
Lost bld supply during lumpectomy
Took out huge margin as results weren’t back fr the MRI - just found it by chance
Had a negative pressure on twice
Wound had to be packed for about 3
Weeks Got
Am infection was in IV antibiotics for 2 wks and 3
Oral
Areola looks like a saucer and
Larger weird
Looking
Nipple
Still hardened I had my surgery in May so maybe will fill in a little Coukd
Get a tat later I suppose
I am cancer free but
My ONCO test was high so now I have to go for chemo
Scared shitless
Should I cut
My hair
Now?

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OMG❣️ You have gone through so much already and still standing. Take a bow, because you are indeed a hero to all that come after.
I remember being scared spitless before chemo, and having the nurse tell me everyone is different but no real straight answers wasn’t really helpful.
Although she did tell me that because of one of the drugs my hair was absolutely coming out.
I was told that when you shave it it gets really itchy when it comes out, so I cut to one inch, donated my locks to wigs for kids, and dyed the rest pink. 😂
Chemo was hard, but not as hard as I imagined, I suffered through the hardest days mostly because of nausea, and made up for it the rest of the time.
You got this, and you have Mayo Connect to help you through it.
When is your first treatment? Do you know which drugs you are taking yet?

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@auntieoakley

OMG❣️ You have gone through so much already and still standing. Take a bow, because you are indeed a hero to all that come after.
I remember being scared spitless before chemo, and having the nurse tell me everyone is different but no real straight answers wasn’t really helpful.
Although she did tell me that because of one of the drugs my hair was absolutely coming out.
I was told that when you shave it it gets really itchy when it comes out, so I cut to one inch, donated my locks to wigs for kids, and dyed the rest pink. 😂
Chemo was hard, but not as hard as I imagined, I suffered through the hardest days mostly because of nausea, and made up for it the rest of the time.
You got this, and you have Mayo Connect to help you through it.
When is your first treatment? Do you know which drugs you are taking yet?

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This Friday
Just got a buzz cut fr my waist length hair
Taxol & Adriamycin
And picked up some protein powder
Gotta power through this 🙁

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