Lewy Body Dementia at age 51: Anyone else with early onset LBD?

Posted by Jen @jen26, Jul 10, 2021

Hello,
I have just joined the group. My husband was diagnosed with lbd 9 months ago at 51. I was wondering if anyone else has a loved one who was diagnosed at younger age than the norm. There seem to be unique issues, and I’ve been told it is usually faster progressing. Is anyone dealing with this?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

@gingerw

@IndianaScott @cmiddlet I wanted to comment here, and please, if this is not the right spot, tell me.

What you are going through, have gone through, is something so many of us experience. The degree that you decide to disclose a health situation, is yours alone, whether it is to family, friends, or co-workers. There is simply no guessing how others might react, nor how considerate/inconsiderate they might be. From my own personal experiences, I am not the same person I was 5 years ago, neither physically nor mentally. I accept that. What is difficult is for others to point it out, in a desparaging manner. That will get my hackles up, and my response is not always pretty! I value my privacy, but do try to educate people when possible, and hope they will treat others in a more compassionate manner from then on.
Ginger

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Thank you for your insight. I am hearing impaired (worn hearing aids since 4) and I understand being ashamed/embarrassed. With LBD, it is so different, with symptom severity constantly changing. It's clear cut to diagnose hearing loss while LBD and related things are very difficult to diagnose and treat.

Most people who ask me "what's wrong?" I think want to help. Its just hard because I want to protect my husband's dignity but at the same time, I am trying to figure out how to be a LBD caregiver and I could very much use help from friends and family.

I was mercilessly bullied in school for my deafness and my husband and I don't care what strangers say about either of us. We have helped countless friends and family who dealt with cancer, AD, ALS, suicide, cerebral palsy and many other conditions. When doing so, it was certainly helpful to understand the situation so we could help in the most meaningful ways and to know what to expect down the road.

LBD is really tough to explain. I was just wanting to know how others might have explained to caring friends and family who want to help but don't understand what LBD is.

My daughter, 15, suggested saying "he has a neurological condition. Thank you for your concern." - for close friends and family, not strangers or casual acquaintances.

It is a tough subject, it is very helpful joining this group because your experience and comments help in navigating this journey with grace.

Every day I pray a cure is found.

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@cmiddlet

Thanks for replying, Colleen. My name is Carrie. I've used the cmiddlet handle a long time. My husband and I have been married for 31 years. Our kids came later (they're 12 and 15). One advantage is since I've known my husband a long time, the changes are certainly more apparent to me. I learned through counseling that LBD patients can be very clever at hiding and I found myself in an enabling role to help him hide his many symptoms. Now that he is coming to hopefully understand and accept it, I hope it will make it somewhat more tolerable.

We have a very good family therapist who is helping the kids understand what's happening. It is hard to accept and the therapist has experience with LDB patients, too. The unpredictability and uncertainty is something she is working with all of us on. Building emotional resilience is what we are working on now.

One thing we are struggling with is how do deal with people who ask what is wrong with my husband. Some ask us if he has cancer or an injury or what. He doesn't want to tell anyone. That makes it hard, because there is a line between privacy and secrecy. Can anyone weigh in on how they deal with people asking what's wrong?

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Carrie, that's a great question to a very common situation. When my husband was diagnosed, I was accepting of his disease and wanted him to be accepting as well. I have had epilepsy since I was very little and have always answered the question, "What's wrong with you?" No problem. So, one day, my husband wanted to go into a store by himself to ask a question. I encouraged him to start the conversation with "Excuse me, I have a question. But first, I should let you know I have the dementia, so I may ask you to repeat yourself." He came out of the store happy and excited. His question was answered, he found a new friend, and he realized he was accepted as he was. He still lets people know he has dementia although now he is losing his speech along with other skills. Test telling people who you know. This is a way of educating our society. You will be surprised at how many people know someone who has the exact same disease. There are lots of compassionate people in this world too. It's a GREAT conversation starter. 🙂

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@cmiddlet

Thank you for your insight. I am hearing impaired (worn hearing aids since 4) and I understand being ashamed/embarrassed. With LBD, it is so different, with symptom severity constantly changing. It's clear cut to diagnose hearing loss while LBD and related things are very difficult to diagnose and treat.

Most people who ask me "what's wrong?" I think want to help. Its just hard because I want to protect my husband's dignity but at the same time, I am trying to figure out how to be a LBD caregiver and I could very much use help from friends and family.

I was mercilessly bullied in school for my deafness and my husband and I don't care what strangers say about either of us. We have helped countless friends and family who dealt with cancer, AD, ALS, suicide, cerebral palsy and many other conditions. When doing so, it was certainly helpful to understand the situation so we could help in the most meaningful ways and to know what to expect down the road.

LBD is really tough to explain. I was just wanting to know how others might have explained to caring friends and family who want to help but don't understand what LBD is.

My daughter, 15, suggested saying "he has a neurological condition. Thank you for your concern." - for close friends and family, not strangers or casual acquaintances.

It is a tough subject, it is very helpful joining this group because your experience and comments help in navigating this journey with grace.

Every day I pray a cure is found.

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I like what your daughter suggested to say. The only thing I would add is "he has a neurological condition called Lewy Body Disease..." That will add to the education. I have had people ask more about the disease at that point. If they do, I tell them that proteins have gathered around the neurons in his brain consequently interrupting different actions. For my husband, the disease will end in Parkinson's disease. I direct those with LOTS more questions to the LBD Association website or hand out some of pamphlets that I have purchased through LBDA. Good luck to you and your family.

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Just thinking of everyone in their Lewy journey. Looking at things a lot differently in life. Every little bit of understanding will work toward a solution.

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Does anyone have any insight on how to cope with grief as a family? My kids and I go to family therapy but I want to know what has worked for others. I've started organizing a lot of ephemeral items like childhood, high school, and military mementos/photos so when our loved one isn't mobile, so we can do something enjoyable that doesn't require mobility and might help keep the mood positive and reflective.

We also got the Gold Star Veterans pass for federal lands and plan in using my sister's RV to visit bucket list places we planned to for retirement - now we just get to visit sooner and with our kids.

Anyone want to share experiences and expectations for the last stages of Lewy? What works, what doesn't, things that will make the best of it while we can?

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My husband also had early onset alzheimers at 51. And oh my what a hard road. He passed away at 57. It does come on fast and it is mean. My husband was a Sunday School teacher, a deacon and sang specials in the choir. He was a master electrician. There was anything he could'nt do. He always was happy and had a smile that would light up a room and oh what laugh. I believe he serve the Lord thru his laughter. He also was a heck of softball player. I wish I could say something postive about the long good-bye but I can't. Alton was kick out of so many nursing homes. He became mean, a man I never had seen before. We reach a point where nursing home was no longer a option for us. He spent his last days in the State Mental hospital. What I can assure you is if you know Jesus he will walk that road even when you don't see it, know it, or feel it. I wish you the best. If I can help in any way I'm here.

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@donnathompson

My husband also had early onset alzheimers at 51. And oh my what a hard road. He passed away at 57. It does come on fast and it is mean. My husband was a Sunday School teacher, a deacon and sang specials in the choir. He was a master electrician. There was anything he could'nt do. He always was happy and had a smile that would light up a room and oh what laugh. I believe he serve the Lord thru his laughter. He also was a heck of softball player. I wish I could say something postive about the long good-bye but I can't. Alton was kick out of so many nursing homes. He became mean, a man I never had seen before. We reach a point where nursing home was no longer a option for us. He spent his last days in the State Mental hospital. What I can assure you is if you know Jesus he will walk that road even when you don't see it, know it, or feel it. I wish you the best. If I can help in any way I'm here.

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Welcome, @donnathompson. Your experience will be most appreciate by fellow members here. It must've been so hard to see your kind, caring, and happy husband transform into a mean man that you no longer recognized as your husband's disposition. How did you cope with this and preserve your sense of self and the relationship you once had?

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@jen26

Thank you for the suggestion...I really appreciate it!

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There are tests now that can diagnose what type of dementia you are dealing with. LBD has a brain scan and a skin puncture that, together, can accurately diagnose if it is LBD or not. Talk to a neurologist with a specialty in dementia.
Blessings to you. My husband has LBD (diagnosed a year ago) and my mom also has dementia. We all live together and each do our best every day. It can be really rough some days.

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@mrjohnwebb

There are tests now that can diagnose what type of dementia you are dealing with. LBD has a brain scan and a skin puncture that, together, can accurately diagnose if it is LBD or not. Talk to a neurologist with a specialty in dementia.
Blessings to you. My husband has LBD (diagnosed a year ago) and my mom also has dementia. We all live together and each do our best every day. It can be really rough some days.

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My husband had a 2 hour test for Dementia at a Dementia Clinic his doctor recommended, and the great result was there was no Alzheimer’s found.

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