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@keepmoving2

@gpigford Lots of responses that show the breath and depth of experiences and emotion. When one loses a friend or relative to the same cancer that they now have, there can be a feeling of despair and sense that the doctors didn’t get it right the first time. But know that so much has happened in the advancement of breast cancer treatment. I am hoping the picture of the book that my husband still glances at 3+ years later will help. (The Breast Cancer Support Partner Handbook by Judy C Kneece). There is also a companion book. We thought I had lobular cancer in only 1 breast. My double mastectomy revealed lobular and ductal cancer in the other. My dermatologist was treating me for Lyme disease concurrently and a skin biopsy came back positive for breast cancer that had spread. No scans or test could have picked that up. The both of you are on a team now and for the time being she is the captain. Continue to be on her team - the books will help - and you never know the when, where and how that you will be needed. And know that you are both on a much larger team that you both never wanted to be on - but we all got your backs!! Good luck to you both!

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Replies to "@gpigford Lots of responses that show the breath and depth of experiences and emotion. When one..."

I agree @keepmoving2.

This discussion demonstrates how personal cancer is, the intensity of the journey and its emotions, as well as how individual it is. Just as individual the experience is for each woman (or man) with breast cancer, so too is the experience of the partner and/or caregiver or family member.

I love that you posted a picture of the book that your husband continues to refer to @keepmoving2. It is well worn, demonstrating not only much use, but loads of caring.

@gpigford, I applaud you for wading into a support group largely made up of women who have experience of having breast cancer to get feedback about your concerns and needs.

To all participants in this discussion, I would like to point to the Community Guidelines (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/), most notably guideline number 2:

2. Remain respectful at all times.
- Exercise tolerance and respect toward other participants whose views may differ from your own. Disagreements are fine, but mutual respect is a must.
- Be inclusive. Not everyone shares the same religious or political beliefs. Don't impose your beliefs on others.
- Personal attacks against members or health care providers are not acceptable. Such posts will be removed.