PICS syndrome

Posted by disneymom82 @disneymom82, Jan 17, 2023

Last January 10th I was rushed to the hospital and immediately taken away from my husband where I was surrounded by 10 doctors and nurses working to get me oxygen. I had been sick for over a week and went to the doctor where I was diagnosed with Delta covid. I was so weak that I couldn't even get into the truck on my own or barely lift my head when the nurses came out to the vehicle to examine me. I was then sent home and put on medication which did absolutely nothing to help me. 3 days had past and I became worse, I was coughing more, and eventually to the point to where I could no longer breath. My husband got me out the bed, into the truck and rushed me to the nearest hospital. When arriving I could barely speak because I didn't have strength and my husband was ripped from my arms and told to leave me and got kicked out the hospital. Once I got there my oxygen level was at 60 and I was placed immediately on oxygen and admitted into the hospital. After a couple of days I was sent to ICU due to how bad I was and they needed to keep a close eye on my levels, everything was out of whack including blood counts. I was then sent to a regular room, where I spent only a few hours and was rushed back to ICU. I went down hill fast and thank God they still had the one and only ICU room left for me and little did I know the only ventilator that was left and it was going to be used on me. They tried everything between high flow oxygen, medications, anything you can think of to help me. The time came with my anxiety out the roof and the doctors said, it's time to place you on a ventilator. To hear everything that they are going do to and how, as well as your survival chance. Everyone emotion hit me and I was terrified for my life. I had no family there with me, I was missing them all, and I just wanted my nightmare to be over. I was diagnosed with Delta covid, walking pneumonia, sepsis, placed on a ventilator, 4 units of plasma with a plasma port in my neck, feeding tube, restrained to the bed and eventually placed in induced coma. Loneliness, depression, anxiety, everything you can think of, I felt. For a year now, I've been suffering daily and struggle to get through my days. I'm blessed to be alive, but its also been a living nightmare. I still have the worse nightmares, horrible flashbacks, depression, the feeling of still being in the hospital and the tube still in my throat on top of being restrained to the bed. I still hear the noises of every machine, it just doesn't go away. I'm looking for other's that are experiencing what I am and be able to share my story and get to know how others are coping with what I've been through. If anybody would like to talk, I'm here to listen. Many prayers to you all.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Intensive Care (ICU) Support Group.

I went through something similar back in Feb.2019. I still struggle with flashbacks, depression, breathing issues and all spectrums of post intensive care syndrome. After four years there is a cognitive, physical, mental and psychological impact on my life. My understanding is that this can last for months, years and even a lifetime. I just joined because I have not found anyone who has dealt with it, my counselor did not even know what P.I.C.S.was. Therefore I stopped seeing him after just a few sessions. It seems that Covid isn’t bringing a little more attention to the topic. It’s a shame that support is hard to find!

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I really feel for you. I am struggling as well and my case seems light compared to you. I had surgery then emergency surgery, then asperated and was put on life support and into an induced coma. I was in the hospital for 18 days. I have been out 2 weeks. My saving grace has been friends and some family. They check on me, try to make me laugh and make sure Indo basic things like eat etc. Also, do not under estimate the power of prayer. Sometimes when I just don't know what to do or who I even am after all of this, prayer calms me and allows me to release some of the control that I falsely think I have. I am desperately looking for a zoom icu support group as I need to hear and see others. Regarding the nightmares, I cannot watch the same shows or have anything negative before I go to bed. Even the foods I eat will affect them. Just remember that the coma meds actually cause alot of negative feelings and these dreams are not your fault. Maybe play brown noise or some music you find positive, while you sleep. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to reach out.

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<p>Approaching my five year anniversary of going down the rabbit hole, what I also call coma life. I am not the same person since then. I feel like I left more than half of myself back there. Physical and cognitive issues are just the start. I have started life over as a new person. I am not the same, my Wife will tell you that. Thank goodness she’s a wonderful and understanding Woman.</p>

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@darold1967

<p>Approaching my five year anniversary of going down the rabbit hole, what I also call coma life. I am not the same person since then. I feel like I left more than half of myself back there. Physical and cognitive issues are just the start. I have started life over as a new person. I am not the same, my Wife will tell you that. Thank goodness she’s a wonderful and understanding Woman.</p>

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Hi @darold1967, you may also be interested in this related discussion:
- Post-Intensive Care Syndrome (PICS) - Let's talk
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/post-intensive-care-syndrome-pics-lets-talk/
You're right that it can be hard to find people who understand PICS, even professional therapists. Thank goodness for your wonderful and understanding partner. Has she ever shared how your time in ICU affected her?

You mention that you've started life over as a new person. What parts of yourself did you mourn and what new parts of you have you (and your wife) welcomed as part of the new person?

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