Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Just finished reading all the interesting feedbacks on this subject. I am 88 years old. At this point I am alone. My husband passed away. We were married for 59 years. Shortly after that I had to have a full hip replacement. So I had to go through this alone. 2022 for me will be the year that goes down in infamy. Have no idea what 2023 will bring. I am not a year out of surgery and almost healed. Have an appointment with my surgeon next month. My husband and I have been (and I still am) living in a 55 plus community so we do not have a large home. So far in spite of my advanced age I am doing okay. With the help of a cleaning person I do everything myself. But the big question is for how long? I decided to look at some assisted living options while I still can. What I found is that while the people are friendly, the accommodations are small and the rents go up every year. Very little about them appeals to me. Next I will have to explore the cost of having someone come in to care for me. But the biggest problem is that no one can predict what will happen next. Will I even need assisted living? If so what kind will I need? The questions are endless and there are no answers until something actually happens.

Just finished reading all the interesting feedbacks on this subject. I am 88 years old. At this point I am alone. My husband passed away. We were married for 59 years. Shortly after that I had to have a full hip replacement. So I had to go through this alone. 2022 for me will be the year that goes down in infamy. Have no idea what 2023 will bring. I am not a year out of surgery and almost healed. Have an appointment with my surgeon next month. My husband and I have been (and I still am) living in a 55 plus community so we do not have a large home. So far in spite of my advanced age I am doing okay. With the help of a cleaning person I do everything myself. But the big question is for how long? I decided to look at some assisted living options while I still can. What I found is that while the people are friendly, the accommodations are small and the rents go up every year. Very little about them appeals to me. Next I will have to explore the cost of having someone come in to care for me. But the biggest problem is that no one can predict what will happen next. Will I even need assisted living? If so what kind will I need? The questions are endless and there are no answers until something actually happens.

Marilyn, my Mom was able to choose a residence with a "continuum of care" from independent to minimal assistance to full assistance. They had a related full care skilled nursing home, but she never needed that. We were able to add services as she needed (she wouldn't live with either my sister or me.) It was the best solution for our family. She started in a 2br apartment, and when she no longer cooked or did her own laundry, moved to a 1br. (This was after she and my Dad gradually downsized from 2story to 1story to an accessible mobile home, shedding stuff at every step. ) My in-laws stayed in their own home until they each needed skilled care - 7 years apart. There is a different path for each of us.
Sue

@thisismarilynb You're absolutely correct, there is no way to forecast what we might need in the future. Good for you for thinking about it now, when you have less pressure to make decisions. Looking at all your options, writing down the pros and cons if you need to, may help make things even clearer.

Do you have access to a senior services office that might help you with critical questions you have?
Ginger

Just finished reading all the interesting feedbacks on this subject. I am 88 years old. At this point I am alone. My husband passed away. We were married for 59 years. Shortly after that I had to have a full hip replacement. So I had to go through this alone. 2022 for me will be the year that goes down in infamy. Have no idea what 2023 will bring. I am not a year out of surgery and almost healed. Have an appointment with my surgeon next month. My husband and I have been (and I still am) living in a 55 plus community so we do not have a large home. So far in spite of my advanced age I am doing okay. With the help of a cleaning person I do everything myself. But the big question is for how long? I decided to look at some assisted living options while I still can. What I found is that while the people are friendly, the accommodations are small and the rents go up every year. Very little about them appeals to me. Next I will have to explore the cost of having someone come in to care for me. But the biggest problem is that no one can predict what will happen next. Will I even need assisted living? If so what kind will I need? The questions are endless and there are no answers until something actually happens.

Just finished reading all the interesting feedbacks on this subject. I am 88 years old. At this point I am alone. My husband passed away. We were married for 59 years. Shortly after that I had to have a full hip replacement. So I had to go through this alone. 2022 for me will be the year that goes down in infamy. Have no idea what 2023 will bring. I am not a year out of surgery and almost healed. Have an appointment with my surgeon next month. My husband and I have been (and I still am) living in a 55 plus community so we do not have a large home. So far in spite of my advanced age I am doing okay. With the help of a cleaning person I do everything myself. But the big question is for how long? I decided to look at some assisted living options while I still can. What I found is that while the people are friendly, the accommodations are small and the rents go up every year. Very little about them appeals to me. Next I will have to explore the cost of having someone come in to care for me. But the biggest problem is that no one can predict what will happen next. Will I even need assisted living? If so what kind will I need? The questions are endless and there are no answers until something actually happens.

This is Bela. I can identify with you, Marilyn! We’re similar in age, and both widows in a long marriage.
I am 85 years of age and my dear husband died eight years ago from an accident in elective surgery. I was devastated for three years. After having been happily married for 51 1/2 years, I decided that living alone in a rambling house was not my cup of tea. I now live in a coop that I own with 100 other resident unit owners, and I have downsized from owning a big house to a two bedroom two bath 1000 sq. foot dwelling. I gave away anything that did not bring me joy, or did not fit into my new space. As you already mentioned, we cannot predict our health conditions over time. But what I can say is that I enjoy my smaller space, and it’s river view, and if the time comes that I need assistance, my plan is to have a caretaker sleep in the other bedroom, and finally make use of my long-term care for payment. That’s the plan for my future health care. That’s the best plan that I can come up with at this time. Our future health is a big question mark, so we can only plan up to a point.
I would go by your instincts, and not move to an assisted living space if your heart is not happy with that choice.

Loved your note, M!

So many of us ponder the same questions... whether we're younger, the same age as you, or even older, I'm sure.

Thank you for sharing what you're going through. It unites all of us seniors... because we'll all have to consider how to proceed from where we are.

Think you're on the right track... weighing what appear to be the current options, but knowing that of some decisions will need to be made at the time that they're ripe... when circumstances are clearer.

And congrats on your status... you're sharp and clear, and are an excellent communicator!

All the best.

/LarryG