I am so sorry to hear that. Know that you are not alone. I wish I knew something to help.

Oh, what a hard place to be!

Here is what @ann16 did about name calling:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/verbal-abuse/?pg=3#comment-705937
After my Mom's strokes, she was very sarcastic and often mean, but she was cognizant enough to know when she crossed boundaries. When I was sure she was safe and her immediate needs met, if she did it to me, I called her on it ONCE, if it continued I walked out, closed the door and did something to cool off. One time I even wrapped her in her robe & towel and left her sitting in the bathroom after a shower because I was doing everything wrong. It only took twice before things got better, after that I just had to give her "the look" and it stopped. My sister would just hang in there, then go away and cry - Mom's behavior never got better with her until hospice.

My mother-in-law used to go next door or to her sister's for a cup of coffee, but never confronted my father-in-law about the verbal abuse - and so it continued. But he never did it while my husband and I were around - I think he knew it wouldn't be tolerated.

My husband has ADD, and can never find his things - he used to yell and accuse me of losing them - I would go stone-cold silent and walk away. Now he knows I will help him look only if he asks nicely for help.

So those are few techniques you might try if you have not already. At very least, be "absent" when he is yelling (use headphones or ear plugs if you must), take your phone and walk away with it if he is interrupting (my Mom used to take hers into the bathroom and close the door when 6 kids were clamoring for attention - much easier to go away now with cells & cordless.)

What behavior modification techniques have you already tried? Have you told his doctors what you face at home? Has his doctor considered an antidepressant or other med?

At least you have a lot of sympathetic ears here - people who understand what you are living with.
Hugs!
Sue

Hi @petluv17, are you able to remove yourself from your husband when he is abusive? Can you leave the house and talk to someone? Are there support services where you live through an Office of Aging or Alzheimer's Association? The Alzheimer's Association has a helpline 24/7 which I've never used, but heard is good. It's staffed by clinicians and specialists. The number is 1-800-272-3900.

I can hardly imagine how wearing, and depressing this situation is for you. I hope you are able to find some ways of coping and strategies that make things easier for you.