Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

@rosemarya Sometimes downsizing means a lot more than physically moving. What I have trouble with, is where do all the family heirlooms go? I have oil paintings from Norway that my husbands family brought over in the 1800s and a trousseau box from 1737 (also from Norway.) The younger generation doesn’t want them, so, what to do? I’m really open to suggestion!

I know how you feel about giving up family treasures and heirlooms that your kids don’t have a clue about the value.

We were face with that also. However, at the time of downsizing from one state to relocate to another to assist my mother who had cancer and recently passed away I came to the conclusion that those things were my treasures and cherished by me.

My mommy overtime dealing with her battle with cancer came to realize the things she treasured became valueless as nothing was more important than her life and health and easily gave things away to friends and other family members if we didn’t want them.

When my father n law passed away his treasures just became dust collectors. His kids keep a few things and threw away somethings they couldn’t give away or donated to charity organizations.

When it was our time to downsize and move into our final home I offered my kids some of my treasures and they took what they wanted.

After giving them what they wanted we sold what we could and gave away the other items to friends, family, and charities.
We realized that when God calls us home we are not taking any of our treasures with us.

So why let someone else dispose of your treasures? Do it yourself while you’re alive making sure they go to someone who appreciates them as much as you do and sell what you can.

We are enjoying life from the treasures we sold traveling, eating, drinking, living, loving and enjoying life.

Why let someone else sell my treasures and enjoy the monetary benefits.

Happy living and enjoy your life and time on this earth without being tied down to things.

@alison0 It really is such a difficult decision. Our hearts want to stay where we are but our heads tell us there are so many reasons to downsize. If you have a large home the upkeep must get expensive, even just heating it must cost a lot, I know it does for us. We have been in our home for 35 years so part of our problem is the accumulation of "things". Our kids are married and live in different states but much of their "stuff" is still here.

If we ever do manage to get rid of stuff and move the one difficult thing will be we will probably move to a smaller home in a development with an HOA (Homeowner's Association to take care of some general upkeep outside). Most of those homes are two bedrooms and although our kids are not often here at the same time they generally are twice a year for a short time each time. That will be much more difficult in a two bedroom home.

I understand how you feel. Not having to deal with stairs will be helpful though and you need to put yourself first.
JK

My brother-in-law and sister are dealing with this right now. His Mom lived in her home for 59 years, and every nook & cranny is filled with treasures. The 5 kids and many grandkids have taken what they want, but it has fallen on them to arrange & conduct a huge estate sale on very short notice because the home is sold and the new owner is waiting to take possession. They have been working on this many hours a day for the past month - How much better it would have been if Mom had gifted each of her many friends with a single memento?

My Mom downsized many times, and did exactly that. At then end, 90% of her remaining possessions went to her children & grandchildren, often based on her guidance. Finishing up took my sister & me, with our husbands, just 2 days.

Where I spend 1/2 my year, in a community of tiny homes, when we lose a friend, the possessions their families choose to take away usually fit in an SUV. The rest are sold with the house, to be loved by the next owner, or passed on by them to neighbors. We have all learned to limit, let go, and share - a lovely way to manage.

So when I come home, I try to take the same view of possessions in my larger, but still small by 2022 standards, home. As a result, we are making space, recycling belongings to those who will use them, a simplifying. And we are getting to the point that we are surrounded only by "things" that are in use or truly bring us joy. Each Spring & Summer, I clean a few more spaces - sheds, closets, cabinets...and find I need fewer things than I imagined.

Sue

I liked your “follow your head” instead of your heart. But it’s hard to let go of your past that includes your house and your possessions.

My brother-in-law and sister are dealing with this right now. His Mom lived in her home for 59 years, and every nook & cranny is filled with treasures. The 5 kids and many grandkids have taken what they want, but it has fallen on them to arrange & conduct a huge estate sale on very short notice because the home is sold and the new owner is waiting to take possession. They have been working on this many hours a day for the past month - How much better it would have been if Mom had gifted each of her many friends with a single memento?

My Mom downsized many times, and did exactly that. At then end, 90% of her remaining possessions went to her children & grandchildren, often based on her guidance. Finishing up took my sister & me, with our husbands, just 2 days.

Where I spend 1/2 my year, in a community of tiny homes, when we lose a friend, the possessions their families choose to take away usually fit in an SUV. The rest are sold with the house, to be loved by the next owner, or passed on by them to neighbors. We have all learned to limit, let go, and share - a lovely way to manage.

So when I come home, I try to take the same view of possessions in my larger, but still small by 2022 standards, home. As a result, we are making space, recycling belongings to those who will use them, a simplifying. And we are getting to the point that we are surrounded only by "things" that are in use or truly bring us joy. Each Spring & Summer, I clean a few more spaces - sheds, closets, cabinets...and find I need fewer things than I imagined.

Sue

@sueinmn This weekend a friend here in town is dealing with just that. "In spades" as they say. In May her mother-in-law passed after a long decline in health. They live four doors down the street. Since then, Kelly and her family [husband and grown daughter] have decided to follow her son in moving from Oregon to Missouri to daughter-in-law's family stomping grounds. This weekend was the estate sale for mother-in-law, which was bittersweet for her husband. I had the chance to speak to him and how it is affecting him emotionally. All the while they are readying their houses for sale and selling, downsizing, telling stories to buyers of old crystal, cookware, momentos, etc.

When my folks moved in 1986, from one end of California to the other end, the only things they didn't take was a 25 year collection of Scientific American magazines, same with National Geographic magazines, and a couple out-dated computers. By 1996 when my mother passed, they had moved twice more, down-sizing a bit more. By 2012 when my dad passed, he had moved at least four move times, the last time into a one bedroom apartment in a 55+ complex, with a walk-in closet he stuffed full! Each child got at least one item that he hand-picked and gifted personally to them. A couple more things were delineated in his will. My older sister took on the task [alone, although each of us offered to help!] of sorting/cataloguing all the remaining items that we all were given lists of, and items not moved to children were sold/gifted away.

It's not an easy task to downsize. I am at the point where I do not gather more things.
Ginger

Ginger, we are the same. I even give away 2 items of clothing or household goods for every one that comes in. My local "Buy Nothing" group is wonderful - many affordable apartments & houses near us, young people and immigrants setting up house, so useful things are immediately requested.
I even have a plan - I have far too many pieces of bakeware now for the way we live. During holiday baking, I will put a sticker on each item I use. In the spring, anything that doesn't have a sticker will be closely looked at for finding a new home. I also own 2 extra sets of dishes and silver that we always used on Thanksgiving to serve 30-40 people - now we are far from here on the holiday, and it just takes space. I will discuss it with my family, and it will probably find a new home, either with the girls or someone else who entertains large groups.

I also have a whole cabinet of tools and supplies from my picture framing days - since my hands no longer handle the cutting & pounding, I will look for a new home - with luck they will want the 3X6 foot cupboard too!

As for today, it is my rest day - we had little garden helpers yesterday, and I might have done a bit too much.
Hugs!
Sue

Stickers....hmm, wonder if my wife will go for that. Would love to ditch about 50% of her cookware that has no cupboard storage space. I'm guessing that might lead to stickers in my computer room too but it is a great idea. Thanks Sue!