Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Bit of a different scenario as i divorced and raised 2 girls on my own dime for 9 yrs then met 2nd husband 40 yrs ago. The girls did not have a lot of belongings and after college/university got their own apartments so took their things with them. However, its unbelievable the 'stuff" my spouse and I have accumulated over the years and with four distinct seasons here 4 season clothing etc. We are in a 3 bedroom and 1 bedroom office and basement full to the brim but nothing much value... what I do not want to do is have my adult children have to clear out the house when we go. There is a lengthy waiting list for long term care homes here and many seniors have been in hospital beds waiting for a place! I forgot applied for a 2 bedroom in an apt building and got a phone call last month AFTER TEN YRS ON WAITING LIST and had to decide next day so we declined. Main reason, we both do not have the strength to pack up our items and move! Also, both with bowel issues are used to 2 bathrooms here even tho one is tiny.... and small laundry room as need to do laundry almost every day.. so an apartment building is out of the question. IF we ever have to go to long term care who is going to clean me after my ibs-d/fecal incontinence .... they are so short staffed and what a horrible job... so my comment mainly is, for us anyway, is there is a huge difference downsizing if have help, if are physically able to sort through some things that mean a lot to you, and leaving your neighbourhood. MY 93 YR old neighbour in her home opposite 30 yrs wanted to stay til the end of her life but fell and cannot use the stairs etc., so she has moved to a seniors building and says she is doing ok but we know there is no place like home, but sadly sometimes the decision is made for us. And myhusbadn used to say that to mY mum in england; 'make a decision before someone makes it for you'... and now we are faced with that decision and great subject for discussion here , to get different points of view. As someone already said ... each case, each person or couple has different circumstances.... health, income, family, etc. as we know.... keep the comments flowing, maybe we will find an answer to our own dilemma here! Thanks and best of luck to those going through this......J

For myself I found that when everything around me became overwhelming and affecting my inner peace, it was time to downsize. Including many personal belongings. Time to unload the unnecessary weight. 🙏🏻

I know how you feel about giving up family treasures and heirlooms that your kids don’t have a clue about the value.

We were face with that also. However, at the time of downsizing from one state to relocate to another to assist my mother who had cancer and recently passed away I came to the conclusion that those things were my treasures and cherished by me.

My mommy overtime dealing with her battle with cancer came to realize the things she treasured became valueless as nothing was more important than her life and health and easily gave things away to friends and other family members if we didn’t want them.

When my father n law passed away his treasures just became dust collectors. His kids keep a few things and threw away somethings they couldn’t give away or donated to charity organizations.

When it was our time to downsize and move into our final home I offered my kids some of my treasures and they took what they wanted.

After giving them what they wanted we sold what we could and gave away the other items to friends, family, and charities.
We realized that when God calls us home we are not taking any of our treasures with us.

So why let someone else dispose of your treasures? Do it yourself while you’re alive making sure they go to someone who appreciates them as much as you do and sell what you can.

We are enjoying life from the treasures we sold traveling, eating, drinking, living, loving and enjoying life.

Why let someone else sell my treasures and enjoy the monetary benefits.

Happy living and enjoy your life and time on this earth without being tied down to things.

My brother-in-law and sister are dealing with this right now. His Mom lived in her home for 59 years, and every nook & cranny is filled with treasures. The 5 kids and many grandkids have taken what they want, but it has fallen on them to arrange & conduct a huge estate sale on very short notice because the home is sold and the new owner is waiting to take possession. They have been working on this many hours a day for the past month - How much better it would have been if Mom had gifted each of her many friends with a single memento?

My Mom downsized many times, and did exactly that. At then end, 90% of her remaining possessions went to her children & grandchildren, often based on her guidance. Finishing up took my sister & me, with our husbands, just 2 days.

Where I spend 1/2 my year, in a community of tiny homes, when we lose a friend, the possessions their families choose to take away usually fit in an SUV. The rest are sold with the house, to be loved by the next owner, or passed on by them to neighbors. We have all learned to limit, let go, and share - a lovely way to manage.

So when I come home, I try to take the same view of possessions in my larger, but still small by 2022 standards, home. As a result, we are making space, recycling belongings to those who will use them, a simplifying. And we are getting to the point that we are surrounded only by "things" that are in use or truly bring us joy. Each Spring & Summer, I clean a few more spaces - sheds, closets, cabinets...and find I need fewer things than I imagined.

Sue

I liked your “follow your head” instead of your heart. But it’s hard to let go of your past that includes your house and your possessions.

We do need far fewer things than we imagine. I cleaned out my frying pan drawer and threw out all but two.

...yes it is so hard. Once during a lean time with money I sold a lot of small things on ebay.... and now I so wish I had done one thing; TAKEN A PHOTO OF EVERY POSSESSION I SOLD and just kept in an album ... at the time I didn't have a camera that would download to computer but may I make this suggestion if you do.... if it interests you.. I think of some of the things I parted with and would like to just take on more look at them, even if it is a photo! Just a suggestion J.

@jip499 To be honest, I guess that's "preaching to the choir". I am having a lot of difficulties getting rid of things that give me so many happy memories. I think this is especially difficult because my son and daughter are so far away and we don't get to see them nearly as much as we would like. We generally see my son about 3 times a year, and my daughter perhaps a tiny bit more.
JK

ahh I can relate to an extent, I left my mum dad and brother .. and dog .. in England when I was 18 to come to Canada for 2 yrs and ended up staying since 1965! Long story but had many twists and turns and it seems the older I get the more I 'miss' having family around a lot... of course parents now passed away and my brother died a few years ago but it was also the relatives and get togethers, births, funerals, weddings. I often think of that when I see, meet or hear of an immigrant from another country - may have left behind a lot of bad things but leaving family behind is heartbreaking in the long run. But I always say my memories are in my heart and my head - had to be that way - and the gifts, possessions are token of love and celebrations etc, but are still just 'things' IMO

p.s. Photographs excluded! Love mine and memories they bring back of happier days! J.