Bi polar 1 son refuses treatment

I agree. I thought this past time of calling me from under a bridge would be his rock bottom. He went thru Mayo and was put on lithium- but was off it within a week. He is kind in the house and working full time now, and his swings are virtually unnoticeable ( but I see them, he really keeps them under control ). I promised his siblings that should he disappear again that I won’t rescue him. And for now I guess having him home allows him to save up for some sort of future ( he’s 32) on his own. It all gets so complicated because he’s so sweet and kind ( usually, although when he’s stressed his replies get short and he goes to his room …. So he won’t yell, etc…) and since my husband has died - having extras in the house seems right. His brother is also home since just graduating college. My question is …. How do I inspire ( or demand or encourage) him to fly. To go off and create his own life. After all , I won’t be around forever.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is nothing at all. Or at least it will feel that way. My own parents as I see it now, were enabling my illness and addiction. Until I felt the pain of my choices, there was no stimulus to change. You can only fix yourself. Healthy boundaries are essential. I hope you are talking to someone.

Exercise (why a manual labor job seems to help, probably) and a good diet is very important in bipolar disorder and addiction as well. I am not as good about the exercise as I could be. But in working as a nurse (gero-psych), I want to do NOTHING when I am off work. I enjoy yard work which is a great workout. My medications cause weight gain and carb cravings, and the new med I am taking is giving me the munchies, so I filled my fridge with fresh fruit. I gave myself no other choice than healthy snacks!

Mercerspring,

I can't imagine what this must be like for you. It's hard to watch someone you love so much suffer. I have bipolar after a TBI, and have some idea what I've put my family through and it feels terrible. I don't have a lot of sage advice, save to focus on what you can control: your own mental health. It is tremendously stressful and I would imagine that after so much going on, depression or anxiety would be understandable, if not a the rule, if that makes sense.

And my family had to set boundaries with me, involving financial assistance and in allowing me to stay with them. Staying there never lasted long, I even once left my dad's to stay in a shelter, the shelter didn't have the limits and expectations.

I'll keep you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.

Hello, Catmomma

Our family has a similar experience.
My son is in denial of his bipolar condition. He was continually noncompliant with his prescriptions ordered. His psychotic episodes became more intense. After numerous hospitalization he left home. Family members offered him security and warmth at hotels. He declined and opted to live in the Arizona mountains. He almost froze to death.

Unknown to his dad and I he was involved with drugs and alcohol. Upon returning home from Arizona a judge ordered his guardianship to me. To keep him “safe”.
Due to his “poor judgement”

He would need to attend medical and psychiatric appointments. After much encouragement his psychiatrists convinced him to take the prescription Abilify via injection (every 30 days).

He was jobless due to his paranoia since 2012. Only recently got a job.
The job is helping him.
He still cannot identify his episodes. Voices are still there. But is dealing with them at this point.

We joined NOMI and to this day belong to parent groups with whom have had experienced these hardships.

He lives with us. Under the agreement he has to attend therapy groups, AA. and remain sober. Doesn’t believe he needs therapy groups but attends.
His life is better but doesn’t believe in his bipolar condition.

“Setbacks can happen”.
We took a severe setback. Last summer he experienced a cannabis induced psychosis. He hit “rock bottom”because of the withdrawal causing a hospitalization.

We started over and are back on track. Boundaries have been set.

He’s observing your commitment to the program too as well.

Support groups help in healing.

God Bless you.

Hello, Catmomma

Our family has a similar experience.
My son is in denial of his bipolar condition. He was continually noncompliant with his prescriptions ordered. His psychotic episodes became more intense. After numerous hospitalization he left home. Family members offered him security and warmth at hotels. He declined and opted to live in the Arizona mountains. He almost froze to death.

Unknown to his dad and I he was involved with drugs and alcohol. Upon returning home from Arizona a judge ordered his guardianship to me. To keep him “safe”.
Due to his “poor judgement”

He would need to attend medical and psychiatric appointments. After much encouragement his psychiatrists convinced him to take the prescription Abilify via injection (every 30 days).

He was jobless due to his paranoia since 2012. Only recently got a job.
The job is helping him.
He still cannot identify his episodes. Voices are still there. But is dealing with them at this point.

We joined NOMI and to this day belong to parent groups with whom have had experienced these hardships.

He lives with us. Under the agreement he has to attend therapy groups, AA. and remain sober. Doesn’t believe he needs therapy groups but attends.
His life is better but doesn’t believe in his bipolar condition.

“Setbacks can happen”.
We took a severe setback. Last summer he experienced a cannabis induced psychosis. He hit “rock bottom”because of the withdrawal causing a hospitalization.

We started over and are back on track. Boundaries have been set.

He’s observing your commitment to the program too as well.

Support groups help in healing.

God Bless you.

1953,

I'm glad your son is doing so much better. Talking to someone who understands, who's been there, whether dealing with mental illness or addiction (or both) can feel like a lifeline. I've been in a mixed state most recently, which can sneak up on you. For me, I was still going to work, so there was the misperception that "everything is fine." People who have been there can call you out on it. Or be there to catch you when you fall.

And I can't imagine what it must be like to be on the side of family.

I am in some ways glad my parents did not abandon ship. I also know myself well enough to know that requiring me to do something like that may just have pushed me further away from where I needed to be. In my own case, I think I needed to get there on my own. Thankfully, my family probably realized that years ago. Unhealthy as the family dynamic may be. Parents usually know what's best.

No easy answers.