what to wear? can I bring a stuffed animal if I'm 40?

Hi all, thank you So Much for the kind, compassionate, and helpful responses. It really gives me a boost and has helped calm a lot of fear about Mayo.

I have been increasingly fragile as I go through this dire illness that took me, in a matter of days, from mountain biking to sudden hypoxia, seizures, and being paralyzed daily. At 38 years old, I have fallen four times this weekend, with the help of two trekking poles with floor grippers. In a nutshell, I'm super sick. Incontinent. Zero quality of life. Often wanting to have it just be over, it's that bad and has been that long like this.

Mayo rejected (with quite a bit of attitude) my first application two years ago (I tried to explain to each person I talked to what "long covid" was and no one had heard of it so they thought I was a nut and treated me so. Now I have an appointment with a doctor this week and am scheduled to go to Scottsdale in October. Many with my condition are routinely ignored or pushed away by medical practitioners of all levels, and people like me cannot get medical care because doctors are either dismissive or don't want to do the work to actually read and think about why I could be dying. So, I have a lot of anxiety about this appointment Wednesday, because it's one last opportunity for the doctor to say "how the heck did you get this appointment" and dump me. Cold. It's happened so many times.

So, I go overboard thinking about clothing, which is the first way we are all judged--and I've learned that all doctors do is judge. It's their job, in a way, but can be misapplied so easily. If I feel comfortable with the physician after next week's telehealth appointment, I will certainly calm down and feel like I'll have a good, real, valid visit and be treated like every other patient and not just phoned in and tossed out. Right now, I'm so petrified of the telehealth visit and the whole process that I cry every day. A lot. Which is not typical for me.

As for outfit, I'll go with advice--crocs, loose clothing that is casual but doesn't make me feel like a schlumpadinka. I will have twin stuffed animals--a clean one for the hotel, and a "covid warrior" for the Mayo campus. I will have a big tote to cram the tiger in if things get fishy.
(Do I need my own socks, or do they give you grippy ones?)

This is where our appointments will be
Division of General Internal Medicine in Scottsdale, Arizona
Scottsdale Campus, SCT-1 Clinic Building
13400 E SHEA BLVD
SCOTTSDALE AZ 85259-5452

I would really appreciate any "getting around" tips and food recommendations. Please keep in mind that "I DO NOT HAVE AN IMMUNE SYSTEM" (I have to say this real loud and clear because people never seem to remember that I'm on the edge of death at all times). Dining has to be drive-thru or someone comes out and puts it in the trunk. One stray germ, no more me. Covid? Bye Bye Birdie. We can't even stop on the way to use the bathroom. I have to use one of those special she-wees in a jug in the back seat. This is serious, y'all.

So any tips on dining out--waaaaay out of the restaurant, that is--would be so appreciated. I love burritos and pizza and any good food, really. I'm coming from New Mexico if that helps, though am not tied to SW cuisine only. Mostly we need good, fast, cheap. With as little contact as heartbreakingly possible.

For hotel, we chose the Adero Scottsdale. It's pricey but not too far away, and seemed like a more relaxing place to come back to and bubble in the room until the next appointment. I'm actually miffed because my health fragility and lack of immune system means we're paying for the extras but I can't be around people so can't enjoy it much. But we heard several recent reports that the hotels on Mayo's campuses were really, really not clean. I have to disinfect everything anyway, I'd like to do that just once or twice and not have nightmares. Also, this place has windows that open so the Lysol will air out.

Well, I suppose that's it. I assumed this would be easy, but going to Mayo after more than 20 failed doctors is showing me how little heart I have left. Yet, at less than one percent, there is always more heart, somehow?

Thanks to you all for being so kind. I feel like I'm talking to friends, but maybe you are just the first friendly people I've encountered in months. My health demands total isolation, not even going to the dentist, and it's just me and my spouse. G-d help us.

Really, though. Thanks for understanding. Crocs are armor, too.

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This thread has had a huge impact on my mental health--thank you guys. 16 million Care Bears arrived today, and I was able to feel good about it. Because I'm feeling less terrified of Mayo. Because of you all.

My telehealth apt is tomorrow, I'll update with how it went.

Thanks for being people in my world right now. It's big to me.

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