Bi polar 1 son refuses treatment

Thank you for your insight. I believe my sons bipolar could be TBI related ( 10 years of rugby and hit by a car while on a bike AND while on a scooter ). He is doing better and started a new job ( hands on outside work, instead of using his college degree and ability to speak three languages … but it’s work!) - but, as his siblings remind me …. This is the pattern of things. However, I can’t help but feel hopeful during the good periods ( neither high nor low). He’s lovely to spend time with now- BUT, in his early 30’s I can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t have dreams and push hard to fulfill them. It goes beyond the comfort of a provided home ( what his siblings declare is the case ) as he would rather be homeless than be an overworked cog ( AKA - pay the price for eventual work and financial freedom… but to do only that you want to do, rather than need to do …..don’t we all wish that AND dont we all realize that’s unrealistic?!? ). Or that’s my guess at any rate. It’s all so complicated, isn’t it !!!! But when you think of it …. What’s “ normal” anyway ?!? I just want to be sure he’s prepared for life post mom. ( won’t be around forever ). Take care and thanks again catmoma!

Mercerspring,

What's less important is not as much what caused it, but what's being done about it. I had a manic episode that put me at Austin (now in Alert Lea), Genrose was full. And until that time, I had been adamantly refusing to take medication. It figured into my delusional system. But the bottom line is I had to be even if only a little, receptive.

What Mayo did was they included me in the decision about which medication I was willing to take. I was given the options and being a typical woman, I was most concerned about which one was as I put it, "least offensive for weight gain." They told me and I said that was the one I would be willing to take.

I'm not going to speculate on why your son won't accept treatment-I don't know him or you. As I said, focus on yourself, talk to someone about your own issues. Hopefully, he'll become receptive.

Hang in there.

So kind of you to reply. He’s been thru Genrose twice now. Both times left with a counselors name and prescription in his pocket. But feels - once out - that being in touch with his inner self ( reading, meditation, yoga, nutrition, exercise …) is the only tool he needs. However, as he continues to live at home - although there can be occasional strew - there are no financial demands which I suspect would consume his best efforts. He’s much better this time around. But I can smell the moods moving in him … up and down. Feeling he can do anything ( lots of talk of future dreams, likes work) and down ( binge eating and getting rid of all but minimal items ). He’s doing manual labor, as he finds it less stressful - but could never be financially independent on what he makes ( he has a college degree and speaks three languages ). I will continue to take care of myself - exercise, improve my diet, see friends ( obviously there is room for improvement) and see my counselor. Again - thank you for your story. It’s been six years since my husband passed away and all this started …I can only hope all will work out well, in whatever direction it takes.

* strew was to be stress.
Whoops

Mercerspring,

I applaud you for doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. I remember when I first was getting back on my feet, I also did manual labor. The lower stress was exactly what I needed (stocked shelves at Walmart). I'm back to work as a nurse now, but I had to be on solid ground with my recovery (I'm a recovering alcoholic/weed addict) from the addiction and have a good med regime and therapy for the bipolar. My financial independence (as in no one is rescuing me from the messes of my own making) keep me accountable for my own recovery from addiction and mental illness.

What the recovery program has taught me is I am powerless over most things. Except my own self. I hope you're working with a support group for families of people with bipolar disorder.

Keep the faith.

I have undiagnosed bipolar type 1 im 15 and I have done exactly what he is doing in the pasted I say this as something I would want depending on where you live look for residential treatment centers I went to one and it literally saved me I made new coping skills and I can work threw my emotions. But I have developed PTSD for that place so be careful of the place you pick

Hello @charliebent and welcome to Mayo Connect. I appreciate you sharing your story of Bipolar Disorder and I'm glad to hear that you have developed some coping skills. That is just great!

If you are comfortable doing so, would you like to share some of the skills that you learned while in a residential treatment center?

Your reply was very insightful. He is clean from weed now and manages his stress ( although I still see the periods of collecting items and being future focused and getting rid of everything and being now focused … but at least the phase of beating himself up and giving up doesn’t seem to be entering in). He still goes from healthy eating and exercise to laying around eating junk food - but those swings pass quickly. Now I understand why the manual labor is important at this point , that makes sense. This job seems to work well ( although I suspect it will come to a close when the snow flies as it’s outdoor chores at a farm ). He is currently living at home and saving up his money ( during his manic phase he ran up his credit cards and gave all his money away). But I thought your comment about having your own place and how it kept you accountable to your mental health was interesting. I’m not sure when ( or how) to implement this. Any suggestions ? Thanks again for sharing.

I am so pleased you learned coping skills at the residential treatment center ( and am so sorry some PTSD lingers from that stay). How long did you stay there ? ( I’m unfamiliar what would be the typical time frame - if there even is a typical time frame ) I too would be interested in what skills you learned that you could share. Bipolar is a challenge , something no one would choose , but simply something some people will have to deal with … and in the case of my son, I see this challenge has made him wise beyond his years.

He’s eventually going to hit bottom.
Only then will he be able to put his life together. All the enablers are just prolonging his manic states. Our son got tired & shamed from being arrested & getting in trouble with the law. He finally got a psychiatric nurse to give him LITHIUM. He’s now practically back to his normal self, sleeping & eating well and minimal mania. More important than this is that you need to pray every day for him & offer masses for him. All of the above worked well for us but it has taken 2 long years. St Raphael is a very powerful intercessory Saint that will help you both along the way.