How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jul 14, 2022

@loribmt
Okay it's payback time.

1. why are there no knock knock jokes about America

Because freedom ring

2. What kind of tea did the American colonists want

Liber-tea

3. What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck.

One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill

4. what did the colonist wear to the Boston tea party

T-shirts

5. What was George Washington’s favorite tree.

Infantry

6. What would you get if you cross the George Washington with cattle feed.

The fodder of our country

7. What was the most popular dance of 1776

indepen-dance

8. What do you call an American painting.

Yankee doodle

9. If you cross the parrot with a curly haired dog what would you get.

Yankee poodle

10. Why does it fired get to enjoy your day off on the Fourth of July.

Because fire works

Sorry about that Lori but you know you had it coming!!
Jake

imallears | @imallears | Jul 14, 2022

In reply to @jakedduck1 "@loribmt Okay it's payback time. 1. why are there no knock knock jokes about America Because..." + (show)

@jakedduck1

That was brutal Leonard...made my teeth ache.

FL Mary

Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Jul 14, 2022

In reply to @jakedduck1 "@loribmt Okay it's payback time. 1. why are there no knock knock jokes about America Because..." + (show)

Scorch!!! ☄️🔥 LOL. I did have it coming!

But just one more…
I have a hen that can count her own eggs!! She’s a
Matheme-chicken. 🐔

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jul 14, 2022

In reply to @imallears "@jakedduck1 That was brutal Leonard...made my teeth ache. FL Mary" + (show)

@imallears
It was brutal but if you can dish it out you better be able to take it.
What road kill did you dine on today.
When I think of you eating it's as though I'm having a nightmare while awake.
Jake

imallears | @imallears | Jul 15, 2022

In reply to @jakedduck1 "@imallears It was brutal but if you can dish it out you better be able to..." + (show)

@jakedduck1

Does calf liver give you nightmares? I always have that in my freezer and am eating it tonight. Calf’s not beef which is tougher. Other than that, sorry to disappoint you but nothing weird restaurant wise. I’ll let you know though…with pictures.

FL Mary

Deb | @dg0797 | Jul 15, 2022

In reply to @jakedduck1 "@loribmt Okay it's payback time. 1. why are there no knock knock jokes about America Because..." + (show)

These are great and made my day!

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jul 16, 2022

God Said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me…"
Adam Said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"

God Said, "Go down Into that Valley."

Adam said, "What's A valley?"

God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the River."

Adam said, "What's a River?"

God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the Hill....."

Adam said, "What is a Hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On

The Other side of the Hill you will find a Cave."

Adam said, 'What's a Cave?'

After God explained, He Said, "In the cave you will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a Woman?'

So God explained That to him, too. Then, God said, 'I Want you To Reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do That?"

God first said (under His breath), "Geez....." And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down Into The valley, Across the river, and

Over the hill, Into the Cave, and finds the Woman.

Then, in five minutes, he was back.

God, His patience wearing thin, said Angrily, "What is It Now?"

And Adam said.... "What's a Headache?!

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Jul 16, 2022

In reply to @imallears "@jakedduck1 Does calf liver give you nightmares? I always have that in my freezer and am..." + (show)

@imallears

“Does calf liver give you nightmares? I always have that in my freezer“

I'd say it's time to clean out your freezer. Maybe I should send you some Omaha Steaks then you might realize liver belongs in the garbage not in the freezer.
The liver doesn't give me nightmares but the thought of it makes my stomach churn. I couldn't eat how you do but I'm impressed by the variety of your diet. No nutrient is safe with you around. Have you ever had a vitamin & mineral profile done. I bet the results would be impressive. I'd like to be able to choke it down for it's heme iron content.
Feel free to forgo the pictures unless you want a video of me puking my guts out.
Off you ever eat a duckie, which you better not!! DON'T TELL ME.
LATER,
Jake

imallears | @imallears | Jul 17, 2022

@jakedduck1

Okay I won’t tell you about the two times I had duck. Don’t want you to quack up….then I’ll need duck tape to patch you back together.

FL Mary

lu91 | @lu91 | Jul 18, 2022

Mrs O'Reilly went to the doctor and he told her to come back with a specimen .
Well, she didn't know what a specimen was so when she got home she asked her husband who was sitting in his arm chair reading his paper and smoking his cigar. Distracted he answered "I dunno, ask Mrs. Casey down the hall. She claims to know everything."
Half an hour later she came back. Her dress was torn, her hair was mussed and her lip was cut.
"What happened to you?" the startled husband asked
"I went to Mrs. Casey and she was busy doing a jigsaw puzzle so she hollered at me "Go pee in a bottle"."So I said to her to go crap in the lake and the fight was on!"