It is not so easy. Losing him is not the only thing going on. We had no inkling this was coming. He fell and broke his femur. We was in one of those so-called skilled nursing facilities. Ha! He kept getting infection after infection. In three months we was gone. Then I had a full hip replacement. Not due to a fall. Just bone on bone. Had to go through this alone. The facility I was in was pure hell. Now my youngest son has decided to cut me out of his family. Next week my granddaughter is getting married but I was specifically told I was not welcome. It all too much to handle. I tried going for counseling but I had to drive 23 miles on interstate 10 one way. Then back. Too much stress. But I did promise my oldest son I would not harm myself so even though in the darkness of night and my life it is tempting, I will not do so.

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