@bjintn, Hi Betty. I want to welcome you to Connect. I looked at your profile, and I am deeply touched by what you have been going through. I can tell that you are a strong person, and that is going to be your strength.
By way of introduction, I am 2 years older than you. I lived with liver disease for nearly 8 years before I progressed to endstage liver failure and was listed for a liver transplant. I received my transplant in2009. I only had one bout of esophageal varices, and they were oozing rather that bleeding, so I did not require emergency treatment. Mine were banded with an ERCP procedure. It was not something I would like to do again. I hurt, just reading your experience. My doctors were very careful to monitor my blood pressure to give me every bit of help to avoid bleeding again. I also remember being on medication for blood pressure.
Betty, you are NOT imagining feeling miserable. Liver disease and cirrhosis do have awful symptoms, and each of us will experience one, some, or all of those.
Here is some information about Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease from the Mayo Clinic Patient Care and Health information: Diseases and Conditions.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/nonalcoholic-fatty-liver-disease/symptoms-causes/
I am quite confused and concerned that your GI is only going to see you annually. Do you have a primary care doctor who is monitoring you?

Ahhhh, yes. Comfort? I’m not sure. But hope? Yes, of course.

At the end stage, I was in ICU, kept alive with only machinery and drugs, bouncing back and forth between too sick to be operated on and 1A, top of the list. Why am I here then? My caregivers, Mayo Clinic, my anonymous donor, stars aligned, blind luck—some combination thereof. I had to have a simultaneous liver and kidney transplant; hepatorenal syndrome had done my kidneys a turn.

What I’m saying is, there’s always hope. My worst day post transplant beats my best day with ESLD. Bleeding varices? Check. Encephalopathy? Check. Blood pressure labile? Check. And the lactulose, my god the lactulose...

So, again, much sympathy. If your hepatologist is planning to see you above ground in a year, that’s good. At age 71, many transplant centers won’t list you, that’s true. But, but—have you discussed the option of a living donor with your hepatologist? That might be a possibility.

There are a lot of variables. And I’m no hepatologist. All I can offer is my experience, strength and hope.

But don’t give in utterly to despair. No. Find a trusted counselor. Talk. Write. Plant a tree. Sign up for joke a day. Join a support group (really). Or start one. I mean a live, in person one. If you’re a spiritual sort, pray or meditate.

Or not. These are just things I tried or heard of.

Hi Bette...I can relate to your story. I was diagnosed with NASH in 2014. Over the next 4 years had the EGD procedure nearly 25 times because of varices, always banded never bled...yea! In 2016 diagnosed with liver cancer. In 2018 the now 3 tumors were large enough to treat, a transplant was the only option. I was transplanted at Mayo Jacksonville Nov 2019 at 70. Everything has been miraculous throughout this journey, not all enjoyable, but definitely a miracle. I'll be 73 in July and still deal with age related life issues, but my liver is doing great, I'm still with my family and I'm alive! I am eternally grateful to my Mayo family, my own family and my donor family❤ Never give up, its not an easy road but it is worth traveling it. Blessed wishes to you.