How about a laugh, (hopefully)

father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her
a story, and listened to her say her prayers, which she
ended by saying
"God bless mommy, God bless daddy,
God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa.
Father said, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know, daddy. It just seemed
like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a
strange coincidence.
A few months later, the father put the girl to bed and
listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless
mommy, God bless daddy and good-bye grandma."
The next day the grandmother died.
"My gosh," thought the father, "this kid is in contact with
the other side."
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed, the
dad heard her say "God bless mommy and good-bye
daddy.
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all
night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.
He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in, and
watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until
midnight he would be OK. He felt safe in the office, so
instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed
there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch, and jumping
at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and
went home.
When he got home, his wife said, "I've never seen you
work so late. What's the matter?
He said, "I don't want to talk about it. I've just spent the
worst day of my life.
She said, "You think you had a bad day. You'll never
believe what happened to me. This morning the
mailman dropped dead on our porch.

A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: “So, honey? How’s my mom doing?”

He replies: “She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!”

“Wow that’s amazing!” – says the wife – “But this is very strange, dear… yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!”

“Well, I don’t know how she was yesterday” – he replied – “But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst”

Someone said, “30 years ago” and my mind went “Ah, yes, the 1970s”, but they meant 1992, and now I need to go lie down. 👵🏻

Someone said, “30 years ago” and my mind went “Ah, yes, the 1970s”, but they meant 1992, and now I need to go lie down. 👵🏻

FARM KID in the Marines ( PARIS ISLAND MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)....

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet, and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next one will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice