Loneliness and Isolation

I am often asked about loneliness and social isolation and how they can affect memory, especially with the increased focus on them over the past two years during the COVID-19 pandemic. Loneliness and social isolation are often used interchangeably but are different concepts.

Loneliness is the subjective perception that our emotional and social relationships are not as strong as our desire for these relationships. Better put, loneliness is the feeling of being alone or disconnected from others, regardless of the amount of social contact one has. It is often described as the painful feeling when there is a mismatch or gap between the number and quality of relationships we have and what we would like. Loneliness is a common emotion, and it can come and go or be persistent.

This is different from social isolation (having few social connections or interactions), which may or may not be upsetting to someone. In other words, people can be socially isolated and not be lonely. Some people prefer to be by themselves. Similarly, people can feel isolated even when they have many activities and/or are surrounded by people. This can especially occur when relationships are not emotionally rewarding.

There are several types of loneliness:

Social loneliness = missing a wider social network

Emotional loneliness = wanting more intimate or deep relationships with others

Collective loneliness = feeling of not being valued by the broader community

Existential loneliness = sense that life lacks meaning or purpose

Several studies have shown that loneliness can have negative effects on memory, sleep, mood, and medical factors, such as heart disease.  Loneliness affects memory loss through several different mechanisms and has been associated with faster rates of memory decline and an increased risk of dementia.

If you are feeling lonely, consider what is contributing or the “root cause.” Common causes are loss of a spouse or close friend, limited transportation, memory loss, and even hearing loss. Others have thoughts that they are being left out, rejected, or are a burden to others. Ask yourself the following questions: Why don’t I get together with friends? Why have I lost touch with people I once spoke with? What parts of your relationships with family and friends are working well for you? Is there something missing? Are there any changes you would like to make to those relationships?

Below are some tips to reduce loneliness:

• Reach out to others.
  • Write a letter, send a card or brief text, or call an old friend, coworker, or classmate. Call your loved ones daily. Make a plan for which loved one you can reach out to tomorrow. Ask a loved someone to send a picture of something special from his/her day. Connect by doing an act of kindness for someone. These simple acts are beneficial for the other person but can also help you feel more connected.
• Share your feelings and wishes.
  • Tell your loved ones if you feel lonesome. Suggest an activity that can help nurture or strengthen a relationship. Ask someone you trust to regularly visit or call – This can provide them “permission” to do so.
• Use video technology or social apps with family and friends, such as FaceTime and Zoom.
  • Record and send “video cards.” Play a simple game or bake a recipe together through video chat. Read stories to grandchildren. Have group Zoom calls with grandchildren or social hour with friends. If you are not tech-savvy, ask a family member or friend for help setting up an activity or sign up for a class through a community center to help you learn to use technology.
• Consider volunteering and joining activities and exercise groups through local community centers.
  • Some communities have a memory café – a place to enjoy activities and socialize with others who are experiencing memory loss and their care partners.
• Start each day with a gratitude practice, which is appreciating something or someone meaningful to you. Research shows that it helps reduce mood symptoms and increase social connectedness.
• Call a “warmline.” The Institute on Aging has a 24-hour toll-free Friendship Line (800-971-0016) staffed with professionals and volunteers available to offer friendly conversation and emotional support to older adults.
• Spend time outdoors and interact with nature. Studies have shown that those who spent time outdoors were less likely to report feeling a lack of companionship or feeling isolated.
• Consider joining a support group for individuals with MCI. Many communities and hospital systems offer support groups and programs. The Alzheimer’s Association is also a good resource for virtual support groups. Mayo Clinic Connect, offers support groups for both caregivers and people living with MCI here: Caregivers: Dementia and Living with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI).
• Ask your doctors or loved ones who know you best what they would suggest for you to reduce loneliness. They may have creative suggestions.