How about a laugh, (hopefully)

@jakedduck1
It really is and I find so many either not appropriate or just not funny. We will have to dig deeper.

A man has a fetish for twisting garden hoses..He called it a kink.

Oh good grief

FL Mary

FARM KID in the Marines ( PARIS ISLAND MARINE CORPS RECRUIT TRAINING)....

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet, and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next one will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds, and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

I told you good jokes are getting hard to come by. Here's another example.

It's early evening a man goes into a small local bar and sits down toward the end of the bat counter. The bar is empty only the bartender is there. The man who is well dressed asks for a beer. He takes a few sips and hears a voice say, “Nice suit”. He ignores it. a few more minutes pass and he hears “Great Tie” still no one there. The Man calls the Bartender over and asks about the voices. Oh, the Tender says those are the peanuts, they’re complimentary.
Jake

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's.

He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup.

As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in

half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each

had half of them.

Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and

set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his

wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase

another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh, no. We've been married 50 years, and

everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she

replied, "Not yet. It's his turn with the teeth."