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Grief and Childlessness: Can't have my own
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Oct 31, 2018 | Replies (22)Comment receiving replies
I'm new as well and would like to keep this topic going. I never had children of my own, but I have 2 kids from a previous marriage, and 1 we adopted. I now have 7 grandkids and 2 great-grandkids. To me family doesn't have to be blood to be family. There are so many kids out there that wish they had someone to care for or about them. I came from a broken home, and watched what fighting can does to kids. I never thought I would marry, but I found this wonderful man, and we have been married for 24 years. He had some baggage, which included 2 kids and an EX, but he was worth it all. I had issues and ended up having a hysterectomy about 10 years ago, never having any children. Yes I often wonder what 'our' children would be like, but then I remember 'we' have 3. If you want to have children there are many ways to make that a reality.
Replies to "I'm new as well and would like to keep this topic going. I never had children..."
I appreciate your post, because I see that you have chose to count your blessings rather than dwell on that which is missing. Gratitude for what we have is an important way to deal with any loss. Thank you for sharing this important thought.
Teresa
I had multiple Fibroid tumors, they caused all sorts of issues. I tried medication, depo shot, they suggested ablation, but were doubtful of the outcome. I opted after, long discussions with my Hubby, to have the surgery. It was sad but at the same time relieving of symptoms. It wasn't a total removal, so hormones were not required. Hubby was very supportive through all of it, and even now. I know he wanted at least 1 of 'ours', but that wasn't meant to be. When his kids came to live with us, it was very hard at first. Major adjustment for me, and them. I was raised in a very stern household ran by my Step-mom. I hate that word (Step). Dad and Mom had one child, my brother Scott. So I was raised in a mixture of steps, half's, and so-on. I always felt like the odd one out, never really accepted. This is probably why I keep reaching out to family to keep what little bond I have still viable.
Hello Micheleinok
This is creeping me out. Lol. I used to hate the word step to! Also can’t have kids naturally but have had step kids for a while now. It’s a very hard job, because the decisions and scheduled are made between the biological parents. I feel for you it can get hectic. As much as they push your buttons, then they do something cute and I am all googly eyed again. Lol
Forgot to mention I am one of four sisters and we combined have three mothers. I completely know how you feel about being the odd man out. I am half korean and half caucasian. So no matter which family I was with I looked adopted. Lol
Also forgot to mention that I was just diagnosed two days ago with a hemmoragic ovarian cyst and the found one fibroid. I am thinking this is just the start because once you get one fibroid there are sure to be more that follow. Heck if I can’t have babies anyways I say the just take my uterous now. Lol. It isn’t doing me any good anyways.
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Hello, @micheleinok. Glad you've joined us on Mayo Clinic Connect. I thought you might like to meet some other members here on Connect who have talked about a variety of challenges with being able to have children, like @cnesselroad, @carebear, @susanrko, @marield65. They may have some thoughts for you.
If you feel comfortable, will you share with us about what issues prompted the need to have a hysterectomy?