I know this is late, but I do struggle every day with the stigma from depression, treatment, and ECT. I have been in treatment for over a year and have debilitating headaches every day, memory problems, and other issues that keep me from finishing the nursing school I was attending as well as driving school bus. Onlu now are we even considering moving the treatments to three weeks apart. I stay home and don't even attend church anymore due to the stigma.

Hi Lisa,
I'm so sorry about all you are dealing with
Being ill is challenging enough without being exposed to ignorance and stigma. The best advice I can give you is not to allow others to define who you are
Often, those that belittle and discriminate, have deeper issues than we do. Its very easy to focus on another because it is far less distancing than dealing with one's own life.
I know ECT affects everyone differently so please ensure that your provider is aware of your symptoms. Also make sure both sides (bilateral) is not being done. Unilateral ECT has less side effects including less memory loss. This is only done on the right side of the brain and from a personal perspective helped. However, there are still minor issues like headaches but they have improved from daily to once in a while.
Please don't isolate. Try to be active and hold your head up high at all times.
Kindly,
Rox

Thank you so much for the insight. It is helpful to speak to someone who understands due to personal experience. I do receive bilateral, due to lack of response from the other. My husband and four kids are so loving and supportive, but sometimes I get so frustrated. I used to take my kids camping and plant a huge garden. I even built a deck and patio, but now I sit here, unable to even stand for more than a few minutes without a head rush and dizziness and headache. I want my life back! Sorry to whine so much. I feel so ashamed to put my family through this. It's so hard to keep going with my head up.

Please don't be ashamed. We did not do anything to cause our illnesses but we can fight tooth and nail to recover. I believe in recovery and unfortunately some recover quicker than others. Talk to your family and tell them how you feel. I bet they love you very much and just want you back. Sometimes, in addition to educating ourselves we have to educate our loved ones because often they are misinformed and think we can just snap out of what ails us.
You have to have faith in yourself that you will be building decks and camping again. In the meanwhile, don't be so hard on yourself. You are human, not some robot and have probably spent your life doing for others. Its ok for our loved ones to uplift and support us as well.
I am proud of you for sharing your story because it shows me and you as well as others that we are not alone. Your friend here is routing for you ...

Thankyou so much for the uplifting response. I was taught from a young age to care for others. It's a big part of who I am. I feel so down sometimes that suicide seems like a viable option just to stop the pain both physically and mentally, to finally end the struggle. Yes, of course I know that that is the depression talking, and that my family needs me. My faith also helps as I pray daily for strength, but I have to say that talking to you and forcing myself into talk therapy every week helps more than anything else. It's hard for me to trust and to ask for help, but somehow my counselor, Jim, sneakily figured out a way to get past that, and my husband teases me about telling Jim when I start to get down on myself. Again, thank you, and I feel selfish talking so much about me. How are you? I know that I don't struggle alone. I hope that you are not still being bullied?

Never hurt yourself even if the pain is overwhelming. Those that I lost to suicide left such a void. And you're not being selfish because your story is important to others and me. We can be our harshest critics. Its fine with me when someone shares because that is also part of healing
As for me, the bullies don't like it when one fights back. If they only knew how much they hurt people but they are hurting to so I pray.
No one struggles alone. Make sure you reach out to someone because there are good people in this world.

It is always important to remember that there are people out here that are more than willing to listen, understand and if we can to help. You are not alone and I don't won't you to ever feel that you are Take care Piglit

I think they hurt others to try to stop thinking about how much they are hurting too. My son has Aspergers Syndrome, and gets bullied every day because he doesn't fit the mold of most 13 year olds. They think that if they direct everyone's attention to him, that noone will notice their faults. A stupid reason, I know. I'm proud of you for fighting back. I hope it helps. I am fighting my bad thoughts tooth and nail. I know it's not the right thing to do, but it's so hard to keep reminding myself on the really hard days. Good luck sweetie, and I am always happy to talk. Lisa4

Thank you Piglit, and I keep trying to remind myself that there are others also struggling and that truly understand what I'm going through. This is my first effort at communicating with others via my computer. My counselor wants me to put myself out there. It's so hard, but I really appreciate your comment- Sincerely, Lisa4

I become infuriated when I hear a child is being bullied because that can impact one's self worth forever. Please make sure your son knows that the bullies are the flawed ones. As for you Lisa, just tell yourself everyday how much you matter to yourself and loved one's and never forget that the present dark clouds will soon be filled with the warm sun and you will be surrounded by light. I love the sun but if it's cloudy and dark get yourself a lamp with bright lights because light therapy can be helpful in improving mood. I tend to go to the tanning shop and it does work.
Lisa, Piglit and my other friends let's try to have a better day! Thank you for your wonderful discussion's and have a blessed day