Why can’t I stop drinking after a couple drinks? Social drinking

By all means

Yes write me if you want, by all means!!

Hi, I always had the same problem, A friend introduced me to AA and a 12 step spiritual recovery program, there I met many who would like to drink socially but cannot, I have lived a sober live for many years now and I love it, Its alright to stay sober,its a good life, Good Luck and God Bless.

Hi Viola. I'm glad you got up the courage to come seek help. I have been clean and sober almost 2.5 years. It's my 5th try at sobriety. In the past I have had a handful of years a couple of times, only to go back for more. I am now convinced that I am an alcoholic and cannot drink responsibly. I have proven that to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Some questions I had to ask myself:

Am I powerless over alcohol? (How often I drink is not part of the equation; the question is, when I choose to drink, can I stop? Do I behave in a way that I would not approve of? Do I like the person I become when I'm drinking? Can I control it?)

Has my life become unmanageable?

My dad is in recovery, he has been sober over 28 years. He was a binge drinker. Never had beer in the house, never drank daily, only drank when he went camping, golfing, etc. But EVERY time he drank he got drunk and behaved inappropriately. THIS is key. It's like a person who has diabetes and rarely eats sugar, but then when they do, it messes their body up. Is that person no longer diabetic because they only eat sugar twice a month?

No one can tell you whether or not you are an alcoholic. That is for you to decide. Usually only those who want to stay sober achieve long term sobriety.

A few sayings we have in recovery...

When you get hit by a train, it's not the caboose that kills you
Once you become a pickle, you can never go back to being a cucumber
If I could drink like a gentleman, I would drink everyday
When I can control my drinking, I don't have any fun. When I'm having fun, I can't control my drinking.

I hope this helps. If you would like to know more about my recovery program, please let me know and I will point you in the right direction.

My family has many alcoholics. My kids had issues with responses to their environment and the feeling like they weren't quite fitting in. For the most part we coped with Sensory Integration training, which can help all ages. I believe this is a marker for possible alcoholism to self medicate and feel more in tune with the world. I also believe that people who are likely alcoholics are rather insensitive to it, that it takes more to get the relief/buzz and that the quantities needed cross over to biological addiction. I did a lot of reading for my MEd and this just "popped" out at me in a general sense. Look at your situation and see if any of this fits??

Hello @viola,

I had not heard from you recently, but I've been thinking about you. How are you doing? Have you received any support for the alcohol problem you mentioned in your post?

I would enjoy hearing from you.

My name is Kat. Im a recovery Alcoholic. 1 is not enough & 1000 is too many. And u think you don't have a Problem ? Have you ever tried drinking just 1 ?

@viola, @jennymja, @roch, @dmcdaniel1, @rathdowney, @soberkat11, @marye2, @fiskenmorder

As Thanksgiving approaches, I really want to thank you all for the support you have provided to each other this year in this Addiction discussion. You have shared your addiction/recovery journeys and supported each other.

At the end of the year, holiday parties and family get-togethers can add stress to our journey of wholeness and sobriety. I'm wondering, how are you doing?

For those of you who are new to this recovery process, share with us how you are preparing for this time of the year. To those of you who are "experienced" with years of sobriety, please share with others how you face the holidays and the temptations that it offers.

What a great topic, my best advice for holiday in recovery is to plan ahead !

I am just home from early Thanksgiving with family. Last year I did not see any of my family over holidays due to COVID, it was actually a much more relaxing holiday because of it.

I have a love / hate relationships with holidays. There are fond memories and others that would like to forget. The weeks leading up to holiday celebrations are filled with anxiety and can be followed by disappointment and depression.

Here are my suggestions:
- Have an exit strategy. I always drive myself.
○ 1st, I know I need to drive home, and I WILL NOT drink and drive.
○ 2nd, I can leave when I want to. No one is forcing you to stay.

- Plan something else to drink, and bring it yourself. Treat yourself to favorite coffee, sparking water, maybe bring ingredients for hot chocolate to share with others.

- Take break from others for a walk. I sometimes volunteer to take dog for walk, or just say need to walk off meal. Fresh air and exercise helps.

- Take care of yourself; take your medications, get plenty of sleep, etc… Stress is harder to deal with when weak.

- If you see a counselor / phycologist, set up additional appointments over holidays. If attend support meetings, go to few more over holidays. If have a sponsor, keep in regular touch.

- Set realistic expectations. I think many of us would like a Norman Rockwell or Hallmark movie version of holidays, it just is not a reality.

- I need to remind myself to stop trying to please or impress everyone. It is not about having the perfect present, the perfect meal, the perfect outfit, the perfect experience, it is about seeing friends and family.

I know many reading this will be asking "What about religion and spirality?" That is such an individual topic, I choose not to include in my list. It may be most important item on other's lists.

Last thought, remember, you cannot control how others act or treat you, but you can control how you react.

Have a safe holiday
Laurie

@roch
Laurie,
This is a great list of strategies to maintain sobriety during the holidays! I so appreciate you sharing this list. Your comments about setting realistic expectations is especially important. As you said, Norman Rockwell pictures and Hallmark movies are not a typical experience in many families so it is important to have some exit strategies if tensions develop.