How about a laugh, (hopefully)

A woman tries getting on a bus but realizes her skirt is too tight.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind to unzip her skirt a little, thinking this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tries to take the step, but only to discover that she could not.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reaches behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more legroom to get on the first step of the bus.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her, picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! ! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends."

Papa and Mama bear are filing for divorce.

The court is deciding custody and asks baby bear:

“Do you want to live with Mama bear?”

Baby bear, with a tear in his eye, says “No, Mama bear beats me!”

Aghast, the judge asks “Oh, we can’t have that, you will live with Papa bear.”

Baby bear says “Oh, no, Papa bear beats me, too!”

The judge says “Is there anyone else you can live with?”

Baby bear says “I want to live with the Chicago Bears….they don’t beat anybody!”

A woman tries getting on a bus but realizes her skirt is too tight.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind to unzip her skirt a little, thinking this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tries to take the step, but only to discover that she could not.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reaches behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more legroom to get on the first step of the bus.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her, picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! ! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends."

@jakedduck1

BOLL! (Burst Out Loud Laughing)

FL Mary

Hello, 911
I need your help,
Ok, what can I do for you
There are two girls fighting over me
So, what's your emergency?
The ugly one is winning!!!

@lioness
Omg!

What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

Do these genes make me look fat?

This is all Leonard’s fault for starting us off.

FL Mary