~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Posted by Barb @amberpep, Feb 26, 2019

I'm 74 years old and moved 3 years ago from MD to VA. My girls had hounded me to come down for several years so I finally did it. I sold my condo (at a loss), and a job with a dentist. Well, here I am, and financially I'm just not making it. That amount I earned from the dentist covered me with just a little left over. Now, more than often, I don't have enough. I eeked out just enough for my rent this month, and now there's not even enough for a quart of milk. I get S.S. and what I get goes right out for my rent (usually there's enough), and my son sends me money each month. I'm sickened, depressed, and scared. I live in low income housing, and have a budget that practically squeaks. I'm thinking of starting to sell some of my furniture.
I so wish I'd have stayed in MD, for so many reasons, this being one of them. I have applied for oodles of jobs (they're all on line now), and legally they're not supposed to ask you how old you are (although many do), but they all ask when you graduated from either high school or college .... well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out how old a person is. I'm so depressed about this, and .so upset that my stomach.constantly churns.
Thanks for letting me vent.
abby

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

@loribmt

That’s fantastic! I hope you can keep persuing this idea and get some more backers!!

It’s amazing how beneficial these harmonious tones have been for you and your family. You might be onto something! I know the similar background music and sounds are used in massage therapy sessions, so soothing and relaxing. Even listening to classical music has been shown to affect the brain.

How did you get become aware of this? What sparked your idea?

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I was trying hard to find my a better place both mentally and physically. It started with my wife and her quest towards spiritual cleansing. After an incredible TedTalk on a sound therapy treatment topic, I began my journey through a plethora of YouTube videos and Spotify albums. I recently thought of a simple and obvious solution. A home unit that works? Simple and truly healing. As soon as I had this concept my motivation, energy and determination have reved up into overdrive. I know this is my calling.

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@organizingkaos

Yes. We have a 432htrz album of Tibetan bowls and tones playing at night with ocean waves on YouTube. I am amazed at how much better I feel every morning. I know this and a balanced diet of Vitamins and Supplements is helping my lifelong depression and my wifes anxiety. Our 10 month old daughter is in the room at night and she sleeps through the entire night and wakes up with joy and energy to spare

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It is great to learn about your appreciation of Tibetan bowls and tones. I gave those as Christmas gifts last year. Would you be able to give me the specific link for your youtube source? Thanks.

May you have peace and ease today.
Chris

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I know it's been a couple of years since you posted, so I hope you are doing ok. If you are still in need, please check with Jefferson Area Board for Aging (JABA) in Virginia. If you aren't in one of the counties they service, they can point you in the right direction. Here's their website...https://www.jabacares.org/

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@amberpep I recently signed up on Indeed just to see what type of Jobs I could land if I moved to Phoenix, AZ where one of my sons live. Indeed has been sending emails and I am so surprised as to how many "work from home" jobs there are. One that I get very often is working as a Customer Representative. You would basically be making calls to clients. You would need a computer. I have seen some that pay up to $20 an hour. It wouldn't hurt to get signed up and see what other "work from home" jobs you could qualify for. The Customer Representative is just one example of what I am receiving, but there are other positions. I worry too as far as applying for jobs at my age. I totally understand. Please don't give up on hope, there is someone looking out for us. You're not alone.

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I have not been here for quite awhile so I didn't know it was only 70 characters. I'll have to cut this really short. I'm a 77 year old healthy woman, divorced after 45 years, relocated in a place I do not like in a Sec. 8 Senior Apt. Bldg. Been struggling with Anxiety/Depression all my life. Was in therapy 14 years, moved, see a psychiatrist for meds., but no therapy .... old therapist is 3 hours away. Daughters and families down here; I do not like it down here; in other city/state was busy, active, part-time work, wonderful church, close friends, had my own condo, wonderful city. Here? Do not like it, X lives 20 mi. away in a big house on 2 acres; I see my girls each week; otherwise I stay here; all others should be in Nursing Home or Asst. Living. rather than here ... very depressing. Have not found a church, town very small, stay in a lot and read. Feel like I'm just waiting to die. Barb
(I didn't realize these had to be so short now.)

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@amberpep

I have not been here for quite awhile so I didn't know it was only 70 characters. I'll have to cut this really short. I'm a 77 year old healthy woman, divorced after 45 years, relocated in a place I do not like in a Sec. 8 Senior Apt. Bldg. Been struggling with Anxiety/Depression all my life. Was in therapy 14 years, moved, see a psychiatrist for meds., but no therapy .... old therapist is 3 hours away. Daughters and families down here; I do not like it down here; in other city/state was busy, active, part-time work, wonderful church, close friends, had my own condo, wonderful city. Here? Do not like it, X lives 20 mi. away in a big house on 2 acres; I see my girls each week; otherwise I stay here; all others should be in Nursing Home or Asst. Living. rather than here ... very depressing. Have not found a church, town very small, stay in a lot and read. Feel like I'm just waiting to die. Barb
(I didn't realize these had to be so short now.)

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Hi @amberpep Barb, welcome back. It's good to see you.
FYI, only the title of a discussion has to be 70 characters long. Your message can be as long as you need it to be.

You'll notice that I moved your new post to this discussion that you started a while back. I did this so you can continue to connect with old and new virtual friends. A lot of people have been writing to you in your absence. Here is the link to your last message in this discussion group - https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/251875/

I suggest clicking the link and start reading from there. You'll see that your posts invited others to share their stories, many offer empathy and ideas, and everyone welcomes you back around the virtual table to chat and catch up.

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@amberpep

I feel like I've just been slapped in the face. I know, in my "thinking" brain I haven't, but in my "emotional" brain it feels like I have. You all know I moved down here to the far western part of Virginia about 3-4 years ago, and have never particularly liked it. Well, I live in a low-income apartment which isn't particularly safe. There is a smaller building, owned by the same firm, right down the hill from me, which is just for seniors. It's somewhat cheaper and the places are smaller. My name has been on a list for about 1-1/2 years and so far, nothing. I'm tired of waiting, especially since I don't like it down here to begin with. Well, I've been toying with the idea of broaching the subject of an in-law suite to one of my daughters and her husband. I wrote to them, and very carefully brought it up and sent a website with all different types you could build attached to the big house, with double locked doors, so each would have their privacy. I absolutely love the woods .... the smells, sounds, the trees, the wet ground and all the critters in the mountains. Their place is only about 1/4 mile from a side entrance to the Blue Ridge Parkway. Oh I could have a beautiful garden, which I love, with flowers and veggies ... heavenly. Well, they weren't nasty about it, but it didn't fly too well. My daughter gave me all sorts of reasons why .... "their house isn't structured for that, it would have to come out of the basement, and a variety of things." I understand, but at the same time I feel slapped in the face. I know it's totally their decision, but for some reason it just makes me sad .... I feel unwanted. I wouldn't be living with them as there would be 2 locked doors between us only to get together when we wanted to. So I guess I'm relegated at some point to go to the old ladies home ..... I know I'm certainly in that age bracket, but I don't feel like it ..... gossipy, snippy, always talking about someone. Even though it's only 4 hours from where I was in MD, it's whole different world here. There's still plenty of confederate flags flying. I like to know about the news locally and in the country and the world, am always seen with at least 2 books I'm reading under my arm, and just don't want to sit around and vegetate. I view moving there as the last step to the end. I just hate the thought of it. They have no kids and I thought with me not being in their way at all, unless invited, it would work. I knew another couple who did that and it went well.
The other option I thought of was one of those tiny houses, but around here, the company brings all the things to you and you have to build it or have someone else build it. And I don't know where I'd put it either ..... money is tight. I guess I'm just having a pity party, but I do not like it here and probably am about as adjusted as I'll ever be. Should have stayed in MD.
abby

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I’m so sorry that you are sad. Our kids can be so frustrating. Some are so delighted that they can manage on their own! I wonder if you have ever checked out cohousing? I have a friend who likes living there. She even found a boyfriend!

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@nin

@amberpep I recently signed up on Indeed just to see what type of Jobs I could land if I moved to Phoenix, AZ where one of my sons live. Indeed has been sending emails and I am so surprised as to how many "work from home" jobs there are. One that I get very often is working as a Customer Representative. You would basically be making calls to clients. You would need a computer. I have seen some that pay up to $20 an hour. It wouldn't hurt to get signed up and see what other "work from home" jobs you could qualify for. The Customer Representative is just one example of what I am receiving, but there are other positions. I worry too as far as applying for jobs at my age. I totally understand. Please don't give up on hope, there is someone looking out for us. You're not alone.

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Hi there .... that sounds great. I sure could use the money. Who do I contact to get started? Barb

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@colleenyoung

Hi @amberpep Barb, welcome back. It's good to see you.
FYI, only the title of a discussion has to be 70 characters long. Your message can be as long as you need it to be.

You'll notice that I moved your new post to this discussion that you started a while back. I did this so you can continue to connect with old and new virtual friends. A lot of people have been writing to you in your absence. Here is the link to your last message in this discussion group - https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/251875/

I suggest clicking the link and start reading from there. You'll see that your posts invited others to share their stories, many offer empathy and ideas, and everyone welcomes you back around the virtual table to chat and catch up.

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Thanks so much for being so welcoming and kind. Barb

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@danab

@amberpep Im so sorry yes we all can appreciate the tough times we are in. I sometimes can get into similar situations where this or that sounds like it would be great. But i also remember the good things i do have and it reminds me how Blessed I am that I have my health and at least i have my electronic means to contact my family and friends. I also remember my faith. There is a poem i really love and it may help you also. It title is Footprints in the Sand. Just search for it and it will come up on whatever internet search you use. I prey that helps.
Have a Blessed Day
Dana

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Hi Dana ... golly, it's good to be back here. For a 77 year old lady I am in excellent health. I have had 1 knee surgery, but otherwise, my doctor told me for my age I'm in great shape. That feels good to hear. I have been an Orthodox Christian - Western Rite, prior to moving down here, but the tiny one that started up 2 years ago - I went for a year - was more like a wake than a worship service. My faith is my stronghold and I do not want to be a "lone ranger Christian." That's a good way to fall off the horse! So I've been trying many other churches, but in my heart I'm still Western Orthodox. I keep in touch with one of the folks at that mission church down here, and they only still have 13 people. I've shared a few idea - very, very, carefully - with them, but "no that won't work" was pretty much the answer. Barb

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