How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble..

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.

The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news..

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.

I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.

She'll read it very slowly...
‘com-for-da-bul.'

@jakedduck1

Awww Leonard…you are so baaaad. So many funny stories it’s a wonder you have time to eat candy.

FL Mary

@imallears
There’s always plenty of time to eat candy, just have to get your priorities straight, something I took care of long ago.
Buy the way, are you this old lady?

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.
The old lady wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. “Well please let me have $3000 now.” The teller kindly handed $3000 very friendly and with a smile to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.

The moral of this story is....
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

😂😂😂😂

@jakedduck1
That’s my kind of old woman!

FL Mary

Thank you for these, Jake, and the others who just posted jokes!!! I needed some cheering up this morning!!!!

Ok Jake, here's one especially for you 🙃

I'm giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I'm giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
😁

Now this is funny!

Now you're lazier than me!!!

😂. Practice safe texts, use commas!