How about a laugh, (hopefully)

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise.

The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your Mother in law by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead"? "Guilty", said the man in the dock.

Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "You dirty rotten stinking rat"!! At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?" He replied "He is my next door neighbor". The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments". The man replied "NO, your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn't have one"!!!

l

🙄 🤣

HOSPITAL BILL

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital.

A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

"Do you have health insurance?" He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank? "He replied, "No money in the bank."

"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a *spinster* sister, and she is a nun." The nun became agitated and announced loudly, " Nuns are not spinsters*!

*Nuns are married to God*.."

The patient replied, "Perfect...

Send the bill to my *brother-in-law*"

@jakedduck1

hahahahahhahahahah..... you are on a roll lately.

FL Mary

@imallears
I figure if I put in enough there might be a winner amongst them.
Jake

Two nuns in full habits decided to take a shortcut through an alley on the way back to the convent after a day of volunteer work at the homeless shelter, only to be assailed by a would be robber. “Give me your money” he demanded. The older of the two nuns almost laughed out loud at the thug and said, “Sir, we are NUNS. We don’t have money and we certainly don’t carry money on our person. “I don’t believe you,” the thug said, and proceeded to frisk her thoroughly. When he finished, the nun said, I TOLD you we have no money, but if you do that again, I’ll write you a check.”

You're killin' me today! I enjoy that you're an equal opportunity jokester! LOL

MATH TEST

Bob has 39 candy bars

Bob ate 26 candy bars

What does Bob have?

Bob has diabietes

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Eqypt and is name Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain and is named Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Goodnight and that all folks

FL Mary