Loneliness: Why am I depressed?

Hello. I can totally relate. Writing (I am also an author) Is solitary work. I also love to cook and am just getting into gardening. I have learned that I really need people around me. But, it is not easy to find the people that want a two way relationship. I am looking at finding a church community that has outreach programs, where I can join with others to help people. I have a friend who is helping a community that cooks meals for the homeless. Another friend found Meet-ups helpful when she was looking for like minded friends. All the best to you in your search.

How can the two of us meet/talk on email? How do we exchange telephone numbers?

Hello. I can totally relate. Writing (I am also an author) Is solitary work. I also love to cook and am just getting into gardening. I have learned that I really need people around me. But, it is not easy to find the people that want a two way relationship. I am looking at finding a church community that has outreach programs, where I can join with others to help people. I have a friend who is helping a community that cooks meals for the homeless. Another friend found Meet-ups helpful when she was looking for like minded friends. All the best to you in your search.

@artgirl2 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I see this is your first post here, and it is a great one.

As you said, learning that you need other people around you, is a big step. I think people in general are not meant to be completely alone. And, as @nannette1941 is finding out, being alone can bring on depression. So, we have to go out and search for others. It is helpful to be very flexible, and understanding that we may not meet others who believe exactly like us, and that is okay too, as it helps broaden our horizons. Finding like-minded people can be tough, especially right now with renewed social restrictions. Groups that offer Zoom meetings can be helpful.

For me, living in a rural area, it has been tough to find others who I "click" with. I like doing things for charity, to help others out. We are blessed, and want to share with those locally who we can help, so we do as we can.

@artgirl2 how local are your outreach groups for you?
@nannette1941 do any of our suggestions sound like something you'd like to try?
Ginger

Hello Ginger:

How nice of you to respond. Yes, it does make sense about not always finding others that have similar interests. Thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate it.

Over the years, my outreach groups have varied. Since I have only been in this neighborhood for a year, I am still figuring out ways to connect. I do like my neighbors. They are very good acquaintances. Sometimes I bake and take treats over to one or two couples/families. That is really fun for me and they like it. There is an organization called SHIFT that I have connected with on and off over the past 4+ years. They meet every other week. Check out their website for more info. I am a co-leader in an organization called "Action for Happiness." It's educational and community building and was started in the UK as a response to pandemic isolation. We meet on Zoom once a month and follow an uplifting monthly schedule. I have connected with other writers via zoom through the Dakota County Library. I even took a watercolor painting class this year that I really enjoyed. I had no idea how great the libraries in our metro area are for connecting others and providing fun and educational opportunities. In the past, I have belonged to various quilter's groups. Some affiliated with churches make quilts for others. Eagan has an art center that I have yet to explore. There is a senior group in Eagan that has some very fun community activities. I've only joined them once for bingo, but I may go back this fall/winter when gardening season is over.

I am learning about managing my life as an unmarried 67 year old. It's not easy and I do have to work at being social. My oldest daughter lives with me and that is a wonderful help. Oh, one more thing- I used to belong to church in St. Paul that I really liked. I helped out with their festival and attended bible study. As I said, I have to find the opportunities that can meet my needs.

I hope this isn't too much information. But, these are things that have helped me recover from a difficult bout of depression/anxiety caused by working as a healthcare professional through a good part of the pandemic. I now work 1-2 days a week and I am very glad to be employed part time. My health- I am a pancreatic and breast cancer survivor. I have MGUS and some chronic GI issues related to the pancreatic cancer surgery. Mayo Clinic has not only saved my life, but the care givers have helped me to get the help I needed to keep going.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for providing this opportunity to share some of my struggles as well as some things that have worked for me. I do not have solutions for others, of course. But, if what I have shared helps, then that makes me happy.

Peace.

Mayr

@artgirl2 It's not too much information. You have shown your examples of what you have done, and nothing is better than clear example. By using crafts or other interests, we can go into groups and already have something in common.

In my experience, sadly, because I have never had children, some gatherings became very strained. I had no "small talk" to do about kids or grandkids. It wasn't enough to have a common interest.

@nannette1941 What types of groups around you might interest you? Perhaps something new, something you have always wanted to try? I look forward to hearing what you decide to do!
Ginger

I would like group whereby we could discuss current events without being abrasive or arrogant; discuss poetry, something we found and want to share, a good recipe...

Hello Ginger:

How nice of you to respond. Yes, it does make sense about not always finding others that have similar interests. Thank you for pointing that out. I appreciate it.

Over the years, my outreach groups have varied. Since I have only been in this neighborhood for a year, I am still figuring out ways to connect. I do like my neighbors. They are very good acquaintances. Sometimes I bake and take treats over to one or two couples/families. That is really fun for me and they like it. There is an organization called SHIFT that I have connected with on and off over the past 4+ years. They meet every other week. Check out their website for more info. I am a co-leader in an organization called "Action for Happiness." It's educational and community building and was started in the UK as a response to pandemic isolation. We meet on Zoom once a month and follow an uplifting monthly schedule. I have connected with other writers via zoom through the Dakota County Library. I even took a watercolor painting class this year that I really enjoyed. I had no idea how great the libraries in our metro area are for connecting others and providing fun and educational opportunities. In the past, I have belonged to various quilter's groups. Some affiliated with churches make quilts for others. Eagan has an art center that I have yet to explore. There is a senior group in Eagan that has some very fun community activities. I've only joined them once for bingo, but I may go back this fall/winter when gardening season is over.

I am learning about managing my life as an unmarried 67 year old. It's not easy and I do have to work at being social. My oldest daughter lives with me and that is a wonderful help. Oh, one more thing- I used to belong to church in St. Paul that I really liked. I helped out with their festival and attended bible study. As I said, I have to find the opportunities that can meet my needs.

I hope this isn't too much information. But, these are things that have helped me recover from a difficult bout of depression/anxiety caused by working as a healthcare professional through a good part of the pandemic. I now work 1-2 days a week and I am very glad to be employed part time. My health- I am a pancreatic and breast cancer survivor. I have MGUS and some chronic GI issues related to the pancreatic cancer surgery. Mayo Clinic has not only saved my life, but the care givers have helped me to get the help I needed to keep going.

Thank you for reading. And thank you for providing this opportunity to share some of my struggles as well as some things that have worked for me. I do not have solutions for others, of course. But, if what I have shared helps, then that makes me happy.

Peace.

Mayr