~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

I feel like I've just been slapped in the face. I know, in my "thinking" brain I haven't, but in my "emotional" brain it feels like I have. You all know I moved down here to the far western part of Virginia about 3-4 years ago, and have never particularly liked it. Well, I live in a low-income apartment which isn't particularly safe. There is a smaller building, owned by the same firm, right down the hill from me, which is just for seniors. It's somewhat cheaper and the places are smaller. My name has been on a list for about 1-1/2 years and so far, nothing. I'm tired of waiting, especially since I don't like it down here to begin with. Well, I've been toying with the idea of broaching the subject of an in-law suite to one of my daughters and her husband. I wrote to them, and very carefully brought it up and sent a website with all different types you could build attached to the big house, with double locked doors, so each would have their privacy. I absolutely love the woods .... the smells, sounds, the trees, the wet ground and all the critters in the mountains. Their place is only about 1/4 mile from a side entrance to the Blue Ridge Parkway. Oh I could have a beautiful garden, which I love, with flowers and veggies ... heavenly. Well, they weren't nasty about it, but it didn't fly too well. My daughter gave me all sorts of reasons why .... "their house isn't structured for that, it would have to come out of the basement, and a variety of things." I understand, but at the same time I feel slapped in the face. I know it's totally their decision, but for some reason it just makes me sad .... I feel unwanted. I wouldn't be living with them as there would be 2 locked doors between us only to get together when we wanted to. So I guess I'm relegated at some point to go to the old ladies home ..... I know I'm certainly in that age bracket, but I don't feel like it ..... gossipy, snippy, always talking about someone. Even though it's only 4 hours from where I was in MD, it's whole different world here. There's still plenty of confederate flags flying. I like to know about the news locally and in the country and the world, am always seen with at least 2 books I'm reading under my arm, and just don't want to sit around and vegetate. I view moving there as the last step to the end. I just hate the thought of it. They have no kids and I thought with me not being in their way at all, unless invited, it would work. I knew another couple who did that and it went well.
The other option I thought of was one of those tiny houses, but around here, the company brings all the things to you and you have to build it or have someone else build it. And I don't know where I'd put it either ..... money is tight. I guess I'm just having a pity party, but I do not like it here and probably am about as adjusted as I'll ever be. Should have stayed in MD.
abby

I feel like I've just been slapped in the face. I know, in my "thinking" brain I haven't, but in my "emotional" brain it feels like I have. You all know I moved down here to the far western part of Virginia about 3-4 years ago, and have never particularly liked it. Well, I live in a low-income apartment which isn't particularly safe. There is a smaller building, owned by the same firm, right down the hill from me, which is just for seniors. It's somewhat cheaper and the places are smaller. My name has been on a list for about 1-1/2 years and so far, nothing. I'm tired of waiting, especially since I don't like it down here to begin with. Well, I've been toying with the idea of broaching the subject of an in-law suite to one of my daughters and her husband. I wrote to them, and very carefully brought it up and sent a website with all different types you could build attached to the big house, with double locked doors, so each would have their privacy. I absolutely love the woods .... the smells, sounds, the trees, the wet ground and all the critters in the mountains. Their place is only about 1/4 mile from a side entrance to the Blue Ridge Parkway. Oh I could have a beautiful garden, which I love, with flowers and veggies ... heavenly. Well, they weren't nasty about it, but it didn't fly too well. My daughter gave me all sorts of reasons why .... "their house isn't structured for that, it would have to come out of the basement, and a variety of things." I understand, but at the same time I feel slapped in the face. I know it's totally their decision, but for some reason it just makes me sad .... I feel unwanted. I wouldn't be living with them as there would be 2 locked doors between us only to get together when we wanted to. So I guess I'm relegated at some point to go to the old ladies home ..... I know I'm certainly in that age bracket, but I don't feel like it ..... gossipy, snippy, always talking about someone. Even though it's only 4 hours from where I was in MD, it's whole different world here. There's still plenty of confederate flags flying. I like to know about the news locally and in the country and the world, am always seen with at least 2 books I'm reading under my arm, and just don't want to sit around and vegetate. I view moving there as the last step to the end. I just hate the thought of it. They have no kids and I thought with me not being in their way at all, unless invited, it would work. I knew another couple who did that and it went well.
The other option I thought of was one of those tiny houses, but around here, the company brings all the things to you and you have to build it or have someone else build it. And I don't know where I'd put it either ..... money is tight. I guess I'm just having a pity party, but I do not like it here and probably am about as adjusted as I'll ever be. Should have stayed in MD.
abby

Hey, abby. I just joined this site and I really want to give you some help. I won't tell you what to do or think because it never worked for me. I will tell you what I did in a situation very similar.
We recently went to the bottom our finances. Thanks to DTA & WIC, we are blessed. I am not incorporating religion in this comment. My wife and I have just received a beautiful new child. My first.
I know all the suggestions said by others. They came from a caring and positive intention. I only began feeling slightly better. I got to a state of mind that changed everything from negative to less negative.
"Why do I, we, us, have to suffer?" This was the question I changed. It became something more like, "I have earned whatever I ask (the universe, or others) for because I have worked for this." I wasn't angry or mad, just firm and determined.
We currently have enough to scrape by financially, barely, but I really do feel better. I have changed my beliefs, but not by too much. I made a small change and that worked.
I hope this reaches you and helps in any way

Welcome to Connect, @organizingkaos. I read a quote today that exemplifies your heartfelt, honest reply to @amberpep (Abby). “The two things in life which you are in total control over are your attitude and your effort.” You’re taking the steps needed to elevate your life and that’s to be congratulated because it took a change in your attitude, along with effort and determination to make this happen. I hope you continue on this path. Baby steps!

Speaking of baby steps, another joyous celebration is the arrival of your new munchkin! Aw, nothing like a baby to put life into perspective. They’re everything that’s right with the world.

Thank you for reaching out to Abby. That’s what this community forum is all about, support. We all work together to offer encouragement and help find answers. Were you searching for anything in particular that brought you to Connect?

Well, I really want to find others to help collaborate in designing and developing a device incorporating sound therapy for households and anywhere people are struggling. I reached out to a couple YouTubers with this idea as well. I know this will change the world for the better. I just need to find the people that share in this belief to bring everything into fruition.

Very cool! Are you talking about Whole Body Regeneration through sound? I know there are studies being done as to how the body reacts to different frequencies and the potential that vibrations can alleviate health issues like depression or anxiety, or stimulate the body to heal physical ailments by way of genetic signaling.

So your idea is to actually have this incorporated in the home? Have you tried this for yourself, the sound therapy? If so, what is your medium? Drums, singing bowls, gongs?

Yes. We have a 432htrz album of Tibetan bowls and tones playing at night with ocean waves on YouTube. I am amazed at how much better I feel every morning. I know this and a balanced diet of Vitamins and Supplements is helping my lifelong depression and my wifes anxiety. Our 10 month old daughter is in the room at night and she sleeps through the entire night and wakes up with joy and energy to spare