@jonasd When you combine the medications you are on, along with alcohol or other drugs, those medication cannot work the way they are supposed to. Drinking is a "temporary fix". No one said it is easy to ask for help and work on yourself. There are many reading this who will agree.

Write down what is frustrating you. Pick one thing to work on, maybe an easy one. When you see how you fix that, you will be happy to try another one to fix. You probably cannot do the whole list at once, I know! Making steps forward will help you feel better about yourself, also.

Your comment about hurting the people you love. How is it that you are hurting them?
Ginger