Connect
← Return to How to overcome grief over deceased donor after transplant?
Discussion
How to overcome grief over deceased donor after transplant?
Transplants | Last Active: Sep 8, 2021 | Replies (26)Comment receiving replies
@colleenyoung I'm still struggling with grief over this subject. I purchased a necklace that says "to honor your gift of life" and wore it the entire month of June in honor of my donor and my transplant anniversary. Some days are better than others. I had to stop wearing it recently because it was making me too sad to think about. I can't seem to let this grief about my deceased donor go. I'd love to be able to say everyone suggestions changed my life and how I feel about things, but I'm not there yet. I hope someday I will be.
Replies to "@colleenyoung I'm still struggling with grief over this subject. I purchased a necklace that says "to..."
Hi, @shepn7. If you lived near me, I would invite you over and we would sit in my backyard swing and share conversation while sipping on some iced tea. However, since that is not possible, I would like to suggest that you not be hard on yourself. Grief is an individual response and the time to let go of it is as varied as is the suggestions that you have been offered here.
I am aware that all of the suggestions that you have received are related to your feelings with your liver donor. I am also aware, as you mentioned in your first post, that you have experiences the loss of 3 special people within a short span of time. You are carrying a heavy burden that is likely compounded by your body's reaction to the post transplant medications. From my experience, my emotions can get out of whack (for lack of a better term) when I am under a high level of stress. Have you considered the possibility that the timing of your transplant anniversary and the deaths of your loved ones are part of your ongoing grief?
I want to share the Loss & Grief Discussion on Connect. It is a safe place where you can meet people who have experienced loss and grief. As a member on Connect you are welcome to read and to join any conversation. Your comments and questions are welcome anytime.
-Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/loss-and-grief-how-are-you-doing/
Shepn7, Have you discussed your grief with your transplant team? How is your physical health since transplant?
Connect
@shepn7 There is no timeline for grief of any kind. Please be gentle on yourself.
My husband is a deceased donor kidney recipient. We also felt tremendous grief for this young person to not be able to continue his life. Knowing my husband was given a second chance, we have tried to make sure it counts now, especially in honor and gratitude of his donor. We are very aware that his donor and family will not have the opportunity to experience events, and we honor the new life he has by doing more volunteering, helping others more, because he can now.
What outside resources, that you spoke about in May, did you find to help you process your grief issues?
Ginger