Mental health intervention by family

Posted by henry123 @henry123, Apr 28, 2021

I have a college age son who is having issues holding jobs and thinking that people, including family members, are out to harm him, our family and or friends. He has held and worked responsible at various jobs during high school and college summers and after college at the associates degree level as a surveyor. Eventually he leaves employment thinking that his employers are out to get him. He has had several relationships with women but each seems to end under similar circumstances such as infidelity, gold digging, or conspiracy with his then current employer. Thinking back to when he was in grade and high school he was a good athlete on soccer football and basketball however he stayed out of CYO AAU grade school basketball as he did not like friends father who was a coach, he did not like the high school basketball coach who was his teacher in freshman year. The coach left in his senior year and he tried out for basketball and became the starting center.
He lives about an hour away and now his friends and family have been hearing how people are out to get him or my family and we are afraid he might do something stupid. He has not made a threat to family or friends but we are now (entire family) of the opinion that he needs medical attention for either a medical or other cause of mental illness. Would welcome any advice on how to go about friendly forcing him to see and MD or other professional to begin the process of curing a physical or mental condition.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

Amanda Burnett | @amandaa | Apr 29, 2021

Hi @henry123 and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. It can be a complex decision to help a family member, especially your son, with mental health issues. By recognizing the signs of mental health problems and connecting him to professional help, you may just be saving his life or the life of someone else. When talking to your friends and family about his problems and behaviors, have they mentioned having an opportunity to provide information, support, or guidance for him?
It is important to remain understanding and compassionate during this time so he doesn't think that you are one of the people "out to get him".

There are several resources I can give you that will help you to not only start a conversation, but to also seek professional guidance on aiding your son to seek medical care.

National Alliance of Medical Illness Hotline: https://www.nami.org/help This can help you establish a point of contact for more information.

Training for you and the family on how to handle mental health scenarios: https://www.thenationalcouncil.org/center-for-consulting-training/consulting-training-services/

How do you ask someone about their mental health?
Aim for supportive and non-judgmental questions. How are you feeling?
Listen. Really listen to what your son has to say.
What If He Doesn't Want to Talk? or says everything's fine when you're pretty sure it's not?
Now What?
Don't Go it Alone.
https://childadolescentpsych.cumc.columbia.edu/articles/tips-asking-friend-about-their-mental-health
Henry, has your son ever been on any type of medication for mood, depression, anxiety or any other mental health related issue?

henry123 | @henry123 | Apr 29, 2021

In reply to @amandaa "Hi @henry123 and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. It can be a complex decision to help..." + (show)

Thank you for the information which I will share with my family. We are trying to stick together and support our son with loving understanding while trying to have him visit a doctor to have his headaches checked out. We hope to contact the Doctor before visit to share our concerns. Should he not have a physical cause for his issues we hope that the Doctor can connect him with an advisor for therapy and or medication to help him.

MGMolly | @Erinmfs | Apr 30, 2021

Another thing you could investigate is your county's mental health crisis line. In my area, and other areas, the mental health system has a 'crisis' process, and a mental health counselor will show up at your home, or wherever the patient is. By contacting your local mental health crisis line, they should be able to connect you to local help for your situation. Our Mental health services motto is that "it's OK to ask for help." https://easterniowamhds.org/