Wife of someone with borderline personality disorder, need answers

He has BPD for sure.

you could be my daughter in law, she could have written the exact same story, she gave up finally last fall, after never really understanding the illness, I could not really blame her, the children went thru Hell, my son died this past July, I can hardly breathe, for 20 years I tried to help him, get him help, be there in this illness, all the doctors said he was a grown man, had to do it on his own, I could write a book, the 20 year travels of a borderline mom, never give up, read and read and read and read some more, a wife can help, a mom can not.........

You almost made me cry, except I am at the library. My adult daughter (27) who I believe has BPD Has had her 2 children taken by the state. My heart is broken, I have begged, pleaded, demanded her to do all the things she needs to do to get them back. She is a drug addict currently on a low dose of Methadone. The judge wants her off of it. Every time she goes off of it she returns to using illlegal drugs. She sleeps all day, gets nothing done, is sick all the time, acts as if she worked all day if she just makes two phone calls. She is supposed to be in counseling, she went one time and never makes another appt. I am so sorry about your son, it is every Mom's biggest fear.

My daughter is 29 has 2 children that live with my husband and me. She is not treating her borderline per dis. I can't take it much longer. She treats us all terrible

how do I convience her she needs help? I am looking to talk to someone professionally that has knowledge of the disease

so similar to my daughter

Hello Fellow Sufferer. I too am the Wife of someone with BPD. I just figured this fact out on my own, after being Friends with this person for 31 years and being married to him for 15 years. Frankly I am surprised how thrilled I am to finally just figure out why a man who loved the ground I walked on and begged me to marry him SUDDENLY wants nothing to do with me. I didn't discover that he had suffered from Child Abuse until years after I married him. He refuses to talk about the details of that apparent Nightmare. His Mother has given me some details about it. This life event is surely the reason for his current affliction. He deserted his first wife and two kids after a few years of marriage. We live together as friends, roommates only. I have no idea if he is having an affair or not. I believe my "cards on the table" attitude pushed him over the edge. He does not seem able to address his past abuse or his current condition. He is emotionally abusive but I don't know if it's intentional or not. His thinking is not typical and his points of view are far from the norms set by society. This makes it impossible to reason with this man. When he finally revealed his true self to me about 3 years ago, I realized I never really knew the "real" him. I still love him but I have no idea if our marriage will survive. I had to dis-connect from him emotionally in order to save myself. My reality is not as painful as it was before. Marriage is supposed to be for better OR for worse. I'm bracing myself because I'm not sure if I've seen the worse or if things will get EVEN Worse!! So far I haven't given up. I decided to take things 6 months at a time while concentrating on self improvement. He still treats me with some kindness and that's all I have to hold onto. It's good to find others who are going through the same nightmare to gain much needed support!! At least we have each other. Have a Blessed Day.

please help me understand this illness. my boy friend of 3 yrs has all the s/s of BPD. its frustrating he doesnt trust anyone...im not allowed to go anywhere working even poses a problem because in his mind im not at work and if i am im being dishonest. we are currently seperated due to his alcohol abuse and staying out drinking til 3 -4 in the am...i could go on for days all that he does i try to reassure him that im not doing anything but nothing seems to help...can anyone please give me any advise on what to do to make things better

wow your story sounds like mine..i am relieved to know that people out there are going through the same thing....always questioning me but doing whatever he wants..i obviously love him and i am worried for him. i will say that its a selfish condition and it seems no matter what you do, you are always cheating, trying to get away with something or have a motive...this is normal? life has been fun and interesting at the same time...thank you

MMSTUMP Hi, I want to say I am so sorry for this in your life! You never expect to lose your best friend in life. My spouse does not have these issues, it is my best friend . We have been best friends since we were 12 years old. It is so hard. I will never leave her side but... it is so hard. The temper, anger, jealousy of everything I do or have. Being inappropriate everywhere we go! Her whole personality is not the best friend I once had. Most of the time it is like I do not have a best friend any longer because it is all about her. She has been Bipolar for years but now with PTSD and her doc says she is developing a personality disorder and needs to get things under control before it is too late. It is too late! And the guilt we feel because sometimes we really want to freak out on them right back! But we know it is not appropriate. I could go on and on. I know it is hard. And it hurts! I am just joining some of the groups on here and I hope you can get some good advise and I hope I can get some also. The one thing I will say... I tell myself this all the time. Could you imagine feeling the way they do and living that life everyday!? They don't want to either. 🙁